To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

I am hoping to breastfeed, I'm aware that some babies have latch issues and if my ds does then I will be doing whatever is necessary to feed him out in public, regardless of where I am! As many ladies have said on here, sometimes it's not possible to cover up completely, occasionally there will be a flash of nipple or the baby will unlatch. Don't look!

That wasn’t the type of BF style mentioned in the OP though. Of course a bit of indiscretion happens sometimes whilst feeding. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be discreet at all

Boob in or out when feeding doesn't bother me. It's not my business how anyone else feeds their child.

However all this getting all out and taking a photo and announcing it to the world - well that doesn't seem natural to me.

I often wonder if woman BF would be less of a 'thing' if woman made it less of a thing themselves?

bluebuttrue But that doesn’t mean you can’t be discreet at all

But that's a woman's choice.

And really not your business.

speakout may not be my choice at all but neither is a lot of things. Still, nice to have a bit of consideration

youarenotkiddingme

But maybe a woman is proud to be breastfeeding.

It's a tough thing to do in this bottle feeding world.
I've seen a lot more boasting/exposure on social media than a woman feeding a baby.

BlueButTrue but your "rights for consideration" are of less importance than a baby's right to be fed.

So stay home if watching a baby having lunch is offensive.

speakout yes of course the baby’s need to feed trumps that, I didn’t say it didn’t. That doesn’t mean it can’t be considered at all.

Again, I don’t know of anyone who gets everything out with 0 discretion whatsoever. I’ve never seen it happen in person. So it can’t be all that necessary or common either.

Never felt the need to be completely exposed whilst feeding, it really doesn’t require the whole breast to be out and I can’t see why you’d want to. It’s more comfortable being a little discreet.

Do these women not get a cold breast?

'Do these women not get a cold breast' - ah the thread that keeps on giving!

That's what I don't get though!

We spend inordinate amounts of time stating "it's just a boob - it's a feeding to for babies" and then on the flip side make a massive deal about it and shout from the roof tops we are being proud of it.

If it's 'just' a boob and feeding then just get it out and feed.

Because let's face it - not feeding your child is abuse.

And I will add I do not believe BG is something that's hard to do in a FF world.

I had to stop Bf Fs at 7 weeks when my mild stopped. I later discovered I was quite ill.
I spent longer feeling guilty I'd let my boy down then it took for me to get well again.

This is because everything is about how breast is best and ff can cause allergies and autism (ds has Asd and had allergies).

This is why my personal is formed of if you can and want to BF then get on with it. But get on with it the same way those who choose or are forced to ff do.

Who ever said FF causes autism?!

YANBU. To pp about normalising breastfeeding.... going to the toilet/ farting/ nappy changing/ tooth brushing/ dressing etc is normal but we don’t do it in the middle of restaurants do we? To pp re skimpy beachwear etc ... also not acceptable in restaurants/many public places.

I don’t think it takes a lot to generally show consideration for others when you are in public and this includes showing as much discretion as you are able when breastfeeding. I never cared who saw my boobs I just wanted to feed my baby, but it is so easy to do it without flashing all and sundry so why not, you know, behave publicly not privately?!

I did get a cold breast sometimes blue

But compared to all the other discomforts you have to tolerate in order to ebf it was not that big a deal.

Women make a big deal of it because they're trying to push back against the shaming

Who ever said FF causes autism?!

This is another level of batshittery isn't it?

How would they explain my DS having ASD? He was BF exclusively.

Still, nice to have a bit of consideration

A mother is feeding her baby.

If that affects your delicate senses that is your problem to work on, not hers.

Most women who bf do tend to discretly, unless the baby suddenly unlatches. I have been out with bf mum friends and out in public, and I have never seen a bf mum exposing her boobs. It's people like op on here that is making an issue.

What and who are we supposed to be considering exactly? It’s a child having it’s lunch.

I’ve never seen a full boob out in public display. Unless it was a quick flash whilst trying to get a baby latched on. What I see more of is women wearing some enormous tent like cover up which draws much more attention. And implies there is something icky or unseemly about breastfeeding. There isn’t. Get over it.

Meh. It's just a boob.

I had a female friend a few years ago who would get really insecure if she was out with her partner and there was a breastfeeding woman around. It's like she assumed her partner would become a jibbering sexually aroused wreck if he got a flash of nipple for a few seconds

Yeah those feeding aprons are just ridiculous. They draw much more attention to you than just popping a boob out does, and imply that what you are doing should be covered up.

I remember my sil getting one as a gift at her baby shower. She did sniff a bit at it then, but even she didn't know that she'd end up being a breastfeeding peer supporter, extended feeding her DS, and never ever once had a second thought about feeding wherever or whenever she needed to. I bet the "tent" never even came out of its packet!

the thing is that "show consideration" is like a dog whistle to a lot of women, me included. We're brought up to think there's something terribly wrong with us if we're not showing consideration to everybody, indiscriminately, all the time. But this is often not a good use of our energy especially when we're exhausted new mums.

When I bf in public, I was showing my baby consideration. That was about as much as I could manage at that time and in that context. I met with a lot of consideration from others at the time, and now that that phase of my life is over I feel it's my job to show bf mothers consideration in public places, not vice versa, because they're working harder than me doing something that's not easy to do

I feel it's my job to show bf mothers consideration in public places, not vice versa, because they're working harder than me doing something that's not easy to do 

^^ This in spades.

How come we find bf mum's bodies offensive, but we are ok with men whipping heir tops off in public, with their beer gut and moons on display, or glamour ladies with most of their breasts out. That's ok, but a bf mother is not, how offensive is that!

May performance breastfeeding is now a thing, parallel to performance parenting.