To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Do you know what the most annoying thing about this argument is?

I do not want to BF anymore. I'm so over it. I am only doing it because of the health benefits to my child. She has allergies and BF has been shown to help these.

So I am being told constantly on threads like this that men can walk around with their useless nipples on show for no one else's benefit but their own.

But I'm actually doing something which has less than zero benefit to me. That I don't enjoy. That is causing actual difficulties in my day to day life and I'm being told I'm an attention seeker and need to consider the wider public.

Oh do fuck off and go find someone to fuck because clearly you need it.

urghh - who cares?! why cant you just let women feed how they want to?! Yes YABVU. Stop looking. Do you like looking at breasts? Why are you even looking? I feed my son wherever and whenever - i dont have a cover because its one extra thing i have to remember to bring and he hates it - he pulls and tugs and makes a right show, drawing attention to what im doing. So feeding without a cover is easier. No one stares, no one knows, because no one is LOOKING for an exposed breast.

Cant win though can we - breastfeed without a cover, get accused on being attention seeking, feed with a bottle, get accused of not giving baby the best satrt in life by feeding though breastmilk. We will always find something wrong with what each other are doing. Its really depressing!

Hear hear merchant great post.

I had a very strong let down, particularly in the early months. What I really needed to do to avoid choking DS was latch him on, then unlatch him quickly, ride out his cries of anguish, capture the worst of the let down in a cup or something and latch him back on when my flow had calmed down.

This is the reality of breastfeeding for some women. It's not pretty, it's not delicate, it's not 'discrete', but it's the best I could do.

The message of this thread is that you should only breastfeed publicly if you do it sufficiently 'nicely' and dear help us if you draw any attention to yourself.

Well fuck that. Feeding my baby and maintaining my mental health is so much more important to me than abiding by a contradictory, misogynistic message designed to make women feel shit.

Being able to show the world my breasts was the main reason I had a baby.

In fact I couldn't wait. Such was the prospect of being able to show my nipples to the world in cafes and malls.
Such an exciting prospect of dropping my bra in buses and showing waiters.

Been the absolute highlight of breastfeeding.

Hell yes Laurie. And if anyone had distracted me at the crucial moment I could have got them in the eye at 2 metres

Dare say I should just have stayed in for 5 months

Laurie your post is so well written. I am reading this thread with great interest - I mentioned earlier that I will be BF my son when he is here (due in 3 weeks time) and that I will probably try to be discreet as that's my choice but I do not care one but how other women feed. Now I am thinking two things -

1. I have never, ever seen a woman BF in public. I reckon it's because I've actually never noticed it!
2. I don't think I will try so hard to be discreet actually - especially if I'm not comfortable. And I absolutely will not go off to the bloody toilet either

You know, when I'm out and about I rarely notice people unless I know them. Do you actively seek out breastfeeding mothers in public despite it being quite rare in this country?

DD is 2 soon and she is still breastfed. If I need to feed her in public I will, because I assume people are minding their own business. I have 32H boobs and I will take out both because DD likes suck on one and play with the other.

So my advice to you boob haters is: To keep your fucking nose out, walk on and think about what you're going to have for dinner tonight.

My DD was an ostentatious breast feeder...she would bounce around, scream, shout, make ludicrous slurping noises, suddenly get distracted by lights/pictures/people and attempt to throw herself off my lap, and always without fail, end her feed by letting out the loudest most sonorous burp you ever heard to alert everyone in the room that me, her mum, would be right in the middle of trying to put breasts away, so now was absolutely the best time to look around and observe them.

Stupid babies flaunting their feeding with no consideration whatsoever for the Victorian era attitudes of others....

That is a fair point uok. I have always been confident and never given a damn what other people think of me and my choices, including the choice to breast feed in private. But I take the point that other women may be more vulnerable to the opinions of others. It isn’t however my responsibility to do something I don’t feel comfortable with just to make others feel comfortable.

I literally couldn’t post on this a day or two ago because I couldn’t decide how far to tell the OP to fuck off...
Which is not very eloquent so I am over joyed to read some of the fantastic posts that have been added recently.
Some of you have put it into words so much better than I could have. Keep going brave mamas.
Oh and OP. Fuck off with your appalling fucking attitude to other women.

Even if I try to be discreet which I'm not that bothered about my DD pops off and on my boob when we're out, has a look around, maybe smiles at some people....if they see my boob, big deal!

After breastfeeding for seven and a half years in total I became an " ostentatious" breastfeeder.

I do not give a fuck if it offends anyone, and in the end I would feed as publicly and "indiscreetly" as was comfortable.

We need to see more public breastfeeding, not less, it will give other mothers confidence.

It’s amazing how sexualised breasts are that you aren’t even allowed to feed your baby without someone finding it offensive/inappropriate. Breasts are there to feed your babies, nothing else. I work in a restaurant and if I see someone breast feeding in the open then I simply look the other way. You can choose not to look.

It’s a natural thing

I agree. Why should paying customers have to suddenly turn and stare at a wall whilst chewing their food? The way seats are placed in restaurants, you’d have no choice but to turn right round and often have to cover the side of your face for fear of being called a perv! Especially men! They’re often terrified of being seen as looking and are made to feel very uncomfortable if a woman has it all or almost all on Show!

As for the woman who got her ENTIRE boob out before the child was even out of the pram?! - COME ON! PP cannot possibly be suggesting that is acceptable behaviour?????? Really?????

And as for those of you saying “It’s what boobs are designed to do! You are the one finding them offensive” - I guarantee if you were to walk down the street with a boob hanging out, you’d likely be arrested for Indecent Exposure!!! What would your defence be? “Oh it’s ok! I have a baby”

Changing rooms, an emergency staircase, my car to name others

You prefer breastfeeding sitting on an emergency staircase than in public?

This sounds so sad.

@Protectingmydaughterfromfilth I suppose it depends what restaurant you’re in, but surely you should be concentrating on your food and your company rather than ogling at a randomers breast? Like I said it’s a natural thing and all she’s doing is feeding her child. You’re the one sexualising it and making it a big deal.

I’m sure the woman breastfeeding isn’t even paying attention to who might be glancing at her.

I agree. Why should paying customers have to suddenly turn and stare at a wall whilst chewing their food? The way seats are placed in restaurants, you’d have no choice but to turn right round and often have to cover the side of your face for fear of being called a perv! Especially men! They’re often terrified of being seen as looking and are made to feel very uncomfortable if a woman has it all or almost all on Show!

So you actually stare at people when eating your food? That’s not normal you know.

Breastfeeding mums are also paying customers. And are protect d by law, so have more rights to peace and comfort than you do I’m afraid. If YOU have a problem with breastfeeding then YOU should turn away. I don’t like watching people eat, it makes me feel sick. Do I expect them not to eat? No, I accept it’s my issue and I deal with it because I’m not a child.

And massive LOL at the thought of terrified men up and down the country afraid to eat in their local pub for fear of being called a pervert. Poor little mites. Let us women just be nice now and think of the men whose apparent no 1 priority is looking like a good guy.

Protectingmydaughterfromfilth someone who gets their boob out before getting a child out the pram is doing that because for them it's the best way to do it. So yes, acceptable.

Why should paying customers have to suddenly turn and stare at a wall whilst chewing their food?

You don't you can stay at home. Your choice.

It isn’t however my responsibility to do something I don’t feel comfortable with just to make others feel comfortable.

Don't you see, @welwyn?

This is what the OP is asking of others!

Many are not comfortable covering up and making it more of an event that it is. And why should they just to make others feel comfortable?

@Protectingmydaughterfromfilth really trying my best to see from your point of view without getting angry here but I’m finding it a challenge.

There’s a massive difference between walking with your tit out down the street and feeding your baby? There’s literally no correlation between the two.

- I guarantee if you were to walk down the street with a boob hanging out, you’d likely be arrested for Indecent Exposure!!!

Wow, it turns out some people are actually thick enough not to realise the difference between indecent exposure and nourishing an infant. What a life they must lead!

I preferred to breastfeed in privacy senza. I breastfed publicly - cafe, restaurants etc when they weren’t busy but never had my breast visible.

why should paying customers have to suddenly turn and stare at a wall

I agree, it's not really a fair position to put them in. My view is that they should just avoid public places until they get over themselves.