To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Never been to Welwyn city, couldn’t even point it out on a map. But yes all John Lewis looks are generally a good standard

Coffee, I did it twice during 6m of breastfeeding.
That makes more sense... But wasn’t your point that women should nip off to the nearest private place/loo to feed discreetly? But you only managed to find a loo you deemed clean enough twice in 6 months? Where else are women supposed to take themselves off to sit on their own and feed their babies?

Toilets are never clean. It is why they need cleaning hourly. The room looking clean does not mean it us clean. I know this as I used to work as a hospital cleaner. Every 30 minutes those toilets needed cleaning, thoroughly, and properly, because of the amount of foot traffic that went through.

Thank God that most people now have the opportunity to use a breastfeeding room if they wish, rather than having to resort to sitting on a toilet like I did. Although of course it really doesn't matter where you are when you're doing it.

I'd just rather not see it

Don't look then.

My points where that I fed him publicly without him being covered or my breast on show, and that I found private places including toilets. Changing rooms, an emergency staircase, my car to name others

My boobs are bigger than any baby's head, sometimes you don't get a choice!

You should definitely go welwyn, on any given morning the John Lewis cafe there is absolutely rammed with breastfeeding mothers, who give not one fuck about feeding their child in public. The toilets there are reserved for people getting rid of waste product from their bodies.

You could learn a thing or two from a trip there.

Jon snows wife - I don’t look

Uok. I do me. You and all other people do you.

To be fair, the bogs in the John Lewis in town are vair nice.

The bogs in our JL are always bloody filthy. Cleanest loo? The one in the coach station.

So if you don't look, then you don't see it, so that point that you'd rather not see it is moot.

But you have to first notice it to look away, don’t you? So when I notice it, I simply look away. I realise my attitude isn’t acceptable to the majority but I don’t care

But you have to first notice it to look away, don’t you?

So? Shes feeding her baby. Not doing a Lapdance on the Manager whilst swinging her nipple tassles to try & get a 20% discount.

Thankfully most breastfeeding mothers don't give a fuck if other peoples delicate senses are offended.

I often don't notice because I'm too busy handling my own shit to make a new mother feel crap about 'exposing' herself.

And neither should they Jon snows wife. Choices.

Does a car count as a private place? Pretty much made up of glass for the top part?

The "some people are uncomfortable" brigade are demonstrating quite clearly the misogynistic attitudes of our Anglo-saxon society.

These attitudes have led to the oversexualisation of breasts to the point some women feel so worried about feeding their child in public.

I've just remembered one of the saddest things I ever came across. A mum who wouldn't bf her son. Because he was male and she was worried she'd come across as a pervert.

So, just look away if someone feels the need to get the whole boob out. Because once we start accepting the idea that women should be discreet, then that line will grow ever tighter and we'll find ourselves stuck in the house to feed again.

To anyone offended by the sight of a woman breastfeeding here is a tip:

TOUGH SHIT

And neither should they Jon snows wife. Choices.

Yes, but by going on about feeding your kid in the toilets and being uncomfortable about seeing fleetingly exposed breasts, you are contributing to those 'choices' being taken away from breastfeeding mothers.

Yes, it would be lovely if all breastfeeding mothers just didn't give a shit about whether someone is offended. However, they are human, and often quite vulnerable, and every time they see or hear something about people being 'offended' or 'uncomfortable' by breastfeeding, it will make them question what they are doing.

So you can talk about choices, and 'you do you, I'll do me' but please do so in the knowledge that what you do and say does have an effect on other people.

Shame in you OP
Your horrible attitude is unfortunately not a sole voice..... whilst I was feeding my baby by the side of the pool at center parcs recently I overheard a woman snap at her son "Don't look at THAT" aka me and baby!!

I do the top up/vest down method of feeding. Sometimes when dds were very small with an extra scarf for mopping up quickly when I leaked or squirted milk. Sometimes I have a scarf on now, I've even fed with a coat on. Because I get cold! Do women who have their breast completly out not get cold sometimes?! It's hard enough drinking a hot coffee while feeding without shivering as well.

I thought I had just never seen a woman bfing out until I had my own children and realised that it doesn't have to be made discreet, it just is. No one really notices what the baby being held on your lap is doing. Even when they are older, there is nothing noticable about a toddler snuggling up to their mother. I've had whole conversations with people who took ages to notice I was feeding because it just looks like you are holding a baby, either with a lot of clothes on or not many. I think anyone who claims to be offended must really try to spot bfing women just so they can kick up a fuss.

I breastfed and had squirty boobs.

So if you sat opposite me you risked being doubly offended - by the sight of a tit and being hit by a jet of warm milk.

This thread is so depressing! I remember this sort of debate from years ago... I thought we'd moved on

I think some of the very worst comments come from those who don't realise they're being misogynistic- the 'ostentatious breastfeeders harm the case' people. Ffs. They're like the people who bleat about strident feminists damaging the good name of feminism. It's as if they think that women politely asking permission to do stuff and pandering to patriarchal bullshit is actually going to advance women's causes.

The women posting pictures of breastfeeding are the very ones trying to move things in the right direction. The ostentation is NEEDED precisely because of YOUR ATTITUDE! Perhaps when (if) this battle is ever won and bf actually becomes a non-event, there will actually be no call for drawing attention to breastfeeding.

I suppose you think Emily Davison was being a bit 'Look At Me' when she threw herself under that horse. Yeah, it would have been better if she and the others had just got on with winning the vote quietly and unobtrusively. Bloody women.

To be fair, it isn't really discreet when I feed. It's hard if you have large breasts.

I have completely ceased to give a shit.

What matters is that my baby gets fed. It really isn't important if anyone is offended. Why shame a woman for doing something so completely natural and wonderful for their baby?

Having read this thread, my takeaway message is that I must do for others what several older women did for me when I was self-conscious and breastfeeding my first baby -- come up to me when I was breastfeeding in public and offer words of encouragement, praise and support. Made me feel like a million dollars and helped me keeping going when it was tough.

Yeah bloody women wanting equal rights and everything that goes with it.