To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Had to use nipple shields for my smaller twin too. Often had to hand express into nipple shield to enable my DD to get started.

Obvs did all of the above on a trapeze in a rainbow tutu while singing “All Things Bright and Beautiful”.

Those shields were hard work! I was happy to throw them away after 4 months!

Do you know what, I really hope anyone reading thing thread are not shamed/embarrassed in to not feeding in public.

I stopped breastfeeding dc1 after a few weeks because I was too embarrassed to do it in public and that was directly due to reading stupid stuff like this op. I am on dc3 now and I have grown a backbone and will feed anywhere.

Do breastfeeding mothers have to wear two layers and be uncomfortable during hot summers so they can "be discreet" or can they wear a little vest top and just pop their boob out to feed their baby? I have learnt not to give a shit and I will wear what I want despite being a breastfeeding mother. If what I am wearing means my whole boob has to come out the top then so be it, the baby covers most of it and I am certainly not doing it to be an "ostentatious breastfeeder"!!

I'm glad my 21 year old, first time mum, self isn't reading this.

Having just read through this thread, aside from wanting to encourage those feeling scared, to breastfeed as and when they need to however they can, please could I urge you not to engage in casual racism OP.

"Even women in Spain who let all hang loose do cover up whilst having their lunches somewhere etc"

Spanish women let it all hang loose? In what sense? Do you want to add any more stereotypes to your crude cursory assessment of national identity and norms?

As a Hispanic I am incensed and as a Briton I am appalled.

Joanne - that photo!!! Still
Giggling away. Op fgs you should have said it was this!

But Waffles, you’ve missed out a vital piece of information... was there a WHOLE BOOB on show???

To echo your sentiments @smileygrapefruit while I was ostentatiously feeding my twins SO MANY older people would come over to say hello / coo at the babies. Each time I would tense up and fear the worst because I’d become so alert to body-shaming. Not once did anyone raise an eyebrow and most were so, so encouraging.

Maybe if breastfeeding could be normalised again then this wouldn't be such a problem. Why does it have to be 'oh my god a lady has a boob out to feed her baby'? Why can't it just be 'oh look at that baby enjoying a feed at the dinner like everyone else'?

I try and be as discreet as possible, because being leered at makes me feel really fucking uncomfortable. But my baby is at an age where she pulls off the muslin cloth that I've draped over my shoulder to cover my boob, repeatedly. She grabs either side of my nipple and uses my breast tissue as handles to guide my nipple to her mouth. She normally then has a good nibble with her bloody sharp teeth before latching just for good measure. So guess what, the last thing on my mind is to worry about making other people feel uncomfortable when all I'm trying to do is feed my baby. It can be hard enough to breastfeed as it is, without people like you making judgement. If you're in close proximity to someone breastfeeding, if you look them in the face you tend to notice the breasts a lot less.

Almost certainly @coffee because it was ferociously hot the summer my children were born AND they had tiny, tiny little heads and constantly lost their latch.

I did not do any boob wafting though. No breastfeeedig woman wafts their boobs.

MrsNai I’m Of Spanish origin and that doesn’t offend me - Spanish ladies do very often like to let all hang loose, especially where I’m from

Not sure why that would offend you tbh, it’s quite true.

Spanish also isn’t a race

Oh that's a shame. I like a good waft.

I've been practising boob-wafting ahead of breastfeeding-wafting.

I personally do not want be confronted by a huge blue veined boob while I'm trying to eat my toasted tea cake in a cafe

Confronted? Does the boob start swearing at you aggressively?

Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

It’s simply being a bit discrete about how much you have on show because it does make some people a little uncomfortable

Ugh. Could gay people just not hold hands or kiss in public, because it does make some people a little uncomfortable. Whilst we're at it, could black people, just not go out in public? because it does make some people a little uncomfortable. And would that person over there with dwarfism go an fuck off and only go out in public after dark, because it does make some people a little uncomfortable?
because it does make some people a little uncomfortable, it's only right that wheelchair bound people be a bit more discreet.

OP. Do one.

Some people are uncomfortable at seeing women with hair uncovered or in crop tops. If we had to monitor our outfits/lives/choices for fear of causing discomfort, what a horrible world it would be. I get uncomfortable seeing young teenage girls wearing skimpy outfits when it's cold. (Not even tights. They must be freezing). I'd be horrified if any of them had to consider my feelings when choosing outfits.
This post makes me want to break out the nipple tassles for the unused boob next time I'm feeding.

Well Waffles you can’t blame the poor little mites, it must be hard to maintain ones latch whilst on a trapeze.

I never purchased one of those special breast feeding cover up scarf things out of principle. Although I did succumb to a couple of breastfeeding tops.

Just I think nipple tassels are ok, they provide a bit of coverage which seems to be the requirement.

If I covered up when feeding, DS would get the hump, rip off the cover and vigorously 'waft' my breast back and forth while hollering at the top of his voice. If people didn't want to see nipple they were best off if I refrained from any attempt at modesty

Getting baby fed is what matters. If people don't want to risk seeing a breast do what it was meant for they should stay at home.

As a breastfeeding mom I agree and don’t think you’re bu. I don’t agree with having to cover your baby (or yourself to the extent it makes you feel uncomfortable/hot) but there is no need to be showing all your wares. It’s just not necessary. I’d much prefer the whole world not to see my norks just as much as I’d much prefer not to see anyone else’s thank you very much.

If I covered up when feeding, DS would get the hump, rip off the cover and vigorously 'waft' my breast back and forth while hollering at the top of his voice. If people didn't want to see nipple they were best off if I refrained from any attempt at modesty 

The whole point of the OP was to say that discretion doesn’t mean covering up even to actually be discreet

Some of those breastfeeding tops look a little bit fetishistic. It’s the peephole nipple thing.

Probs ok if paired with nipple tassel though....

Bluebuttrue, I find the comment that all Spanish women are loose offensive.

Also, as Spaniards are group of people sharing the same culture, history, language, etc. yes we are a race as defined by standard terminology.

Apologies to others for the slight detour.

DISCREET! DISCREET DISCREET DISCREET!

Discrete: individually separate and distinct.

Discreet: what bloody fools think women feeding babies 'ought' to be.

To clarify, DS insisted I had a whole boob out

MrsNai I didn’t realise I was part of a Spanish race, you learn something new every day