To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

In my home country, women just get the boob out and feed baby without a care in the world. I found it really weird that over here, where people are free to do whatever they want, get all crazy over a boob. To sexualise a boob to this extent is pretty pathetic

A few weeks ago I was sat opposite a lady with a baby on a train. The lady had rather large breasts and a very small vest top. She was not being very "discrete" or leaving anything to the imagination. But that's OK?

If she'd started breastfeeding her baby and believe me, there couldn't have been much more on show that wouldn't be OK?

As it was, she actually got a bottle of milk out to feed her baby. Now, she was already showing the world all her assets but presumably in order for her to show some decorum, you'd expect her to delecately lay a muslim cloth over her breasts while feeding her baby bottle milk?

Pandora we need to raise our sons differently. It's part of the problem.

This!!

I do think us parents of boys need to be instrumental in teaching the next generation that that women are not objects or commodities that exist to please men. That breasts are for feeding babies, not for the enjoyment of blokes. That a woman’s right to feed her child as and when she wants is important and trumps just about anything else in any room ever. That nobody - man or woman - has the right to dictate what a woman should and shouldn’t do with her body, when it harms no one else (putting off some thicko eating their scone with warped views about Sex Breasts squeamish is not causing harm).

Yanbu I agree with you.

This is how i breast feed (not me - taken from an ad). Is this considered indiscreet then? Is it because there is no material above the head?

It was my exposed tummy I was more bothered by when feeding DS. I never could seem to wear the right thing to feed in without some of my big fat stretch-marking tummy showing. But DS's hunger was more important than my covering up.

I fed my son in many public places, very discreetly without him being covered but having my boobs covered. I also had no problem feeding him in toilets out of sight. Why have your boob publicly on show when feeding a baby but covered up when not?

Was this the photo OP?
Ostentatious breastfeeding indeed
And yet still not offensive, although this may not be acceptable in a restaurant or a park. Or anywhere chilly.

Welwyn are you serious?

The issue is your discomfort at visual of a bf mum.thats your issue.not hers
In this context Breasts are for feeding,she’s not enticing the menfolk with her wanton display
It’s really sad that seeing a bf mum your thought is cover up, not aww a wee baby

Feeding anyone in the toilets is rank.

Would you eat your dinner in a toilet? If not, why is it acceptable for your child to?

Dillydally, I get what you're saying. I know it can be tough and can really have a negative affect on someone but you didn't fail. Failing is not trying to do sonething you want to, or just giving up on it. You didn't do that. So please don't think you failed or feel bad about yourself for it.

I also get what you're saying about the affect breastfeeding pics have on you but it is no different to posting pics of babies with bottles. Actually, no it is. Bottle feeding is "normal", breastfeeding still isn't, as posts like this show so the more people show what it actually means and really looks like (ie not all blue veined boobs being thrust in people's faces) the more acceptable it becomes. Breastfeeding in public can be terrifying. Women need to see examples of peopke who do it with little fuss from other people.

My premature twins were tiny and my breasts were enormous. Feeding them was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I really needed a third arm - and that was just feeding one at a time. I needed both hands and I needed to see the baby’s latch each time. Should I have stayed home lest I put any misogynists off their dinner?

This was what I needed to do - not me, from WHO site.

Breasts are designed to feed children. If some people can’t get beyond the sexualised image of breasts that is their problem. I fed my son where ever I wanted. He is now 26. I didn’t give a fuck if some wanker had an issue with that.

Do you know... I'm not even actually sure if I could have been one of those people who offended you. And I'm really not that bothered either.

Yes usually I have two tops and will lift one/lower the other... but there have been times when I have misjudged an outfit & realised I can't actually feed discreetly in it. There have also been times where my dd has yanked my top & bra down in one swoop & latched herself on.

If I'm honest I don't know how much boob I've had on show at times & whether it would offend you or not... but I promise you it's not been an exhibitionist display or designed to make others uncomfortable, my primary concern has been feeding dd.

I actually agree with you OP and am not sure why anyone would get arsy about this. I fed everywhere but never felt the need to have any boob displayed for more than a split second whilst rearranging bra/nipple pad etc. I did once answer door to postman with boob hanging out though....I just forgot. He was a bit taken aback!

I've breastfed dd all over the place - in galleries, cafes, on planes, trains and in smart restaurants. I could not give a fuck how other people feel about it. If she needs so feed then I'll feed her in the way that we are both comfortable with. Just look away if you're too prudish to cope with a bit of boob.

vdb see my previous post.

Would you eat your dinner in a toilet? If not, why is it acceptable for your child to?

Fuck no when did I say I’d expect a baby/child to?

Thank you @SierraFerrara for your kind words. It's the first time I've voiced this so was a little nervous! I completely understand what you're saying. It needs to be normalised and the only way that can be done is to put it in the media more. Perhaps if it wasn't for people's negative attitudes towards BF then I would have been more inclined to try BF in public (even if I struggled with it).

I couldnt give a shit if someone saw my breast while I was breastfeeding. If they are uncomfortable, that is entirely their problem, not mine to solve.

@Waffles80 that is how I used to feed my DDs. I could never do it 1 handed. My 2nd DD had tongue tie and breastfeeding was so painful with her I had to use shields. Putting them on in public was not discreet at all and I needed to hold onto shield as I was paranoid that she would choke on it.

Vdbfamily plenty of people have explained why they are so upset with the OP - it is dangerous to put people off breastfeeding. It is bad for their mental health. Do we need to use shorter words?

I made no effort at all to cover up whilst breastfeeding. And it's true that I had absolutely no respect for the feelings of anyone around me who might feel uncomfortable. That's in line with my general lack of respect for all sexist attitudes. Shaming women who breastfeed is a particularly repulsive form of sexism. (I'm also profoundly uninterested in the comfort of people who are expressing racist, disablist or homophobic attitudes.) If the sight of breasts puts people off their teacakes, that's not my problem.