To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

I get offended by the way some people look or dress... Should they cover up too?
Babies breastfeeding or boobs generally nah don't care too much to be honest! And OP if this hasn't been mentioned before your SIL's baby probably has a shallow latch issue because she is trying sooo hard to be discreet to please people like you... Sad really!

I just can't get my head around why a woman would be offended by another woman's boobs, out doing what they were made for.

Karate for example my 11 year old Ds would be really embarrassed if he saw someone with their whole breast out even though he knows it’s perfectly acceptable and perfectly normal.

What irks me the worst is the term 'on show' - WTF does that even mean? Being flaunted deliberately (Daily Mail style?)? Or some part of the breast visible?

I only had to have mine out pretty fully in the early weeks of feeding basically because DS - and me - were so crap at it! Once I got going and could feed anywhere (including when receiving parcels from the postman at the front door) I found a close fitting t-shirt/top was ace and once feeding you can pull it down so it almost touches the baby's mouth and you can't see bugger all.

However, if I had to or wanted to feed with my knocker not disguised at all, I'd just do it and f the buggers that had anything to say about it. I was very very very good at hand expressing when I was bfding... that would, literally, be an opportunity for one in the eye for anyone who made the mistake of giving me any grief!!

But I just take issue with people having an issue - at some point you've got to get the baby on - and then off again - which might cause a small glimpse of nipple - apparently nipples are the very devils own work, who knew.

That people can be outraged about this when sexual child abuse has increased 30% in the last YEAR and child on child sexual abuse has increased by 60% in the last four years, I think these pearl-clutching idiots who fear they may pass out at a glimpse of probably less side boob and cleavage than you'd normally see on a Kardashian, have their focus in entirely the wrong place for something that's doing good for a child - you can't fathom it.

Actually, my picture was spot on. Far more people talk about women needing to cover up and hide their breasts while feeding, sorry I mean be "discrete" than say women should be modest when going out (not necessarily my opinion).

Your response was the perfect example of that, you didn't mention the boobs hanging out on the woman on the top at all, you fixated on the covered up lady feeding. Complete double standards which shows why people need to look at their attitudes.

Personally, I like to stand on a table dancing whilst shouting "look at meeeeeee!" when feeling my girl so I can see why people might stare at the big ol' balls of fat on my chest. For my friends who are just feeding their babies and want to be left to get on with it, I don't see why or how people can get so offended. In fact, they're the ones eho should be offended by people staring at their bobies and thinking they get a say on them.

Maybe we need a measuring device. A bit like those plastic stands royal mail use to work out how much your letter will cost to post. Then people who feel unable to look away when there's a chance they might see a nipple can quickly and discretely measure the skin/baby/clothing ratio to see if it's appropriate.

I'm gunna blow some of your small minds here but.... I used a nipple shield for the first few months. I never got the knack of being discrete. I had to get my boob out, lick my shield, stick it on, then bring baby up to feed. Oddly enough in the months I did this for, no one kicked off with me about exposing my boobs. I could either have stayed home all the time, sat in various toilets or baby feeding rooms, or just got on with it. I chose to get on with it. Which was amazing because I was suffering from PND. Imagine if I was forced to hide away too? I doubt my mental health would have recovered

Jesus tapdancingChrist where is that picture from? The English is fine but the Spanish seems a smidge ropey.

Disagree with the message in any language.

I always try to be discreet, as in not swinging boobs around in public, but sometimes my baby will pull at clothing and cloths making my work somewhat trickier.

Why the fuck can’t we just support women to feed their babies how they see fit? Breasts are there to feed babies- that is their function so it’s no surprise that when a baby needs feeding sometimes people see some breast.

nerrsnerr spot on.

Stop staring at people breastfeeding! It's not about you!

I'm sorry Pandora but the problem is your 11 yr old son. Does he get equally squeamish when the lads take their tops off walking off the football field? You are perpetuating the 'it's iffensive' in a very clear way by basically saying it's not suitable for children to see.

If anything this thread has made me want to get my boobs out more

Karate for example my 11 year old Ds would be really embarrassed if he saw someone with their whole breast out even though he knows it’s perfectly acceptable and perfectly normal.

So teach him there’s no need to feel embarrassed don’t teach him that women should cover up to protect his misplaced feelings.

Yeah.

People don't really want to see your boobs when they are mid meal.

During a meal is surely the perfect time for a baby to have its dinner?

Pandora would your 11 year old neice be ok with it

Sorry I meant dd not neice! but same difference

I'm so surprised at people saying the whole breast out - i assume you mean the skin on my chest that would be visible in a v neck top - is 'look at me'. I bought nursing tops which are wrap style and they just pull to the side and dd latches on. My 'whole' breast is out, but you can just see the back of baby's head and then the same amount of flesh as the other side. I have tried pulling tops up but that's so much more of a palaver and everyone would be drawn by this extremely clumsy tall ungainly woman with long arms yanking clothes up, than me just popping the top to the side.

Tops like this are surely just standard feeding tops

Yeah bubbly, I actually have been thinking the same. I've always been careful with my past 3 babies but this thread has made me realise that being careful not to show anything is part of the problem. Makes people think it's ok to shame women for having and using breasts for feeding their babies in public. A lot of people don't actually even realise that's what they are ultimately doing.

God I hate threads like this. BF in public is scary enough without some GF putting the frighteners on new mothers. You may have knocked confidence out of any new mothers to BF in public OP, I hope you are thoroughly, thoroughly ashamed.

This was a hypothetical example. He hasn’t come across a woman with her breast out, but he has walked in the room when my friend was discreetly breastfeeding her baby and being an 11 boy who is quite self conscious in a lot of areas, felt he was intruding and he flustered a little. I spoke to him after and said it was fine that he stay in the room and that my friend wasn’t bothered at all with him being there.

It's the 'ostentatious breastfeeding' debate again....

On the flip side I would have hated making a young boy feel uncomfortable by having a breast out whilst feeding hence why I always tried to be discreet.

I think what you are missing OP, is that the people who have a problem with seeing a mother breast feed in public places don't care about discretion if any amount of the boob is on show. It's the act of breast feeding in public that they don't like. So you might sit there all high and mighty because you didn't have any problems with breast feeding, and you were able to breast feed without whipping your bap out, but how many people were sat there muttering to their families about how you should be doing that in the toilets/with a cover over the babies head?

Historical pictures of breastfeeding, with various levels of visible boob

What dreadful showoffs.

Pandora, please just consider some of the thoughts on this and why nobody should need to be discreet.