To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

Fantasticday69 presumably OP would only accept garments that enable hyper-discreet breastfeeding and so your dress would be confined to the back of the wardrobe until you'd fully weaned your kid. Only clothing with various flaps which can be lifted, pulled and tucked to minimise breast-exposure are allowed. The more functional and less fashionable, the better.

Why is it that only breastfeeding mothers are expected to conform to a standard etiquette. but the rest of the world is free to cover / uncover as much as they please ?

I’m currently bf my 7wo and I’m a cover-upperer. I wear tops I can easily bf in and cover lo head. That’s my choice. I try to be discrete, much less so st home unless we have guests. I just don’t want anyone seeing my boob.

Would I expect others to do the same? 🤔

I guess I’d like them to put some effort in being discrete. Maybe not to the extent I am. But I would want to see boobs lopped out without a baby on it feeding. I have seen some women get their boob out minutes (literally) before they start feeding and I just don’t think that’s necessary.

Get the boob ready. Attach baby. Done.

Tapdancing and Barbara I loved your photos.

If hardly anyone does it op than why get your knickers in a twist over it?

I hated breast feeding in public. I loathed getting my son to latch while the people I was with around the table talked to me. I hated undoing my clothes with a crowd of people around me. I have two hands. I can hold a baby and I can put my fucking boob in its mouth. I can't simultaneously weave a cloak of invisibility around myself so that I 'discretely' cover up my flopping boob so that pathetic judgemental mysogynist nimbys aren't offended by the presence of my skin. I could have spent a year in my house, not offending you. But instead I chose to breastfeed in public, despite the fact that I hated it, despite the fact that it made me self conscious, vulnerable, paranoid. Fuck you.

I breast feed for a long time but did not do it in public. I either did it in the car or expressed. People don't really want to see your boobs when they are mid meal. A cafe is a bit different. When I was at someone's house or had people round, I went to another room. I do think some people reveal more than they need to in order to make a point. If you can do it discretely, fine.

My boob popped out in the swimming pool recently! I blame my swimsuit, loose elastic, not even got a baby to blame. Unsurprisingly, no one cared!

Let me get this straight OP,

You’re fine with seeing nipples, as long as it’s in a magazine, On a beach and NOT around food? If a topless woman is on the beach and I want to eat my sand sandwich, does she have to cover up?

And you’re happy for anything but a ‘whole boob out’ - but actually judging by the pictures you post, you want babies to have breastmilk with a side of Per Una jumper?

And gay people can’t help being gay but babies can help it if they need breast fed?

Have I got that right?

OP, this is not a fucking game. Attitudes like yours impact breastfeeding rates negatively.

There are women on this thread confirming that for you.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

Why make people uncomfortable if you can feed discreetly? I don’t get that bit.

I’ve breastfed all of mine in many different situations but wouldn’t have wanted to make someone uncomfortable by getting a whole breast out when I could feed discreetly. The main issue is feeding the baby not making a point that you have a right to get your breasts out.

Reading this reminds me of why I was so terrified the first few times I breastfed in public. Not helped by the fact she would frequently unlatch to look around the room, and likes to pull at anything I use to cover the top part of the boob.
Now I don't really care, of course my baby is over one which takes me into a whole other area of public judgement.

And gay people can’t help being gay but babies can help it if they need breast fed?

Have I got that right?

Of course not, that’s why you feed them.

What about in a dress that you unbutton? Most of your boob is out then, is that not ok?

What about people who feed twins or tandem feed? You can't really do that the way you show in those pictures, just lifting the top up. You may need to get not one 'whole boob' out but two 'whole boobs'
Seriously though, do you not think it's acceptable to feed two babies at once in a restaurant? Genuine questions.

I feed DS with my whole breast out if that's what works best with what I'm wearing. I'm not planning my entire wardrobe for over a year for the convenience of a hypothetical person who might be offended.

In summer 2 tops is ridiculous. Today he had an accident at the swimming pool and wanted milk. I sat with a breast out of my swimming costume to feed him.

I actually couldn't give a fuck if you don't want to see a breast. Close your eyes, look away, whatever.

YABVVU. This has made me so cross. I have never managed to feed discreetly in the way described on this thread. Now, even as a seasoned breastfeeder, I am wondering what I am doing wrong. Or how many people I have offended unnecessarily. If I was pregnant and unsure about breastfeeding this thread would have made me feel really nervous about it. Some very, very disappointing attitudes.

I breast feed for a long time but did not do it in public. I either did it in the car or expressed. People don't really want to see your boobs when they are mid meal. A cafe is a bit different. When I was at someone's house or had people round, I went to another room. I do think some people reveal more than they need to in order to make a point. If you can do it discretely, fine.

That's your own problem for being a prude. Boobs are for feeding. Get the fuck over it

In one of her posts I believe she said it was still possible to feed discreetly wearing a dress.

Why make people uncomfortable if you can feed discreetly? I don’t get that bit.

It’s really not hard. You do what you need to do to feed your child. Other people’s comfort comes secondary to your baby’s need for food.

Albus - I agree!

OP you said it's not always as easy as just looking away. Why not? Does someone else have control of your eyes?

Why make people uncomfortable? It's not about that. The uncomfortable feeling is the issue, the problem, and what needs to be worked on, not the level of discreetness.

Yanbu.

Of course not, that’s why you feed them.

So it's only okay to feed them in the manner that you deem acceptable?

It's not 'deemed' acceptable, it is acceptable.