to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

[Curiositykilledthecat113]

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

JacquesHammer

Point completely missed. Doesn't matter whether he acknowledges your "contribution". I said of course it helps to have a SAHP but it's not you that created the business. Anyone could have provided that help. A a go-getter who wants to succeed in any industry will sort out their support network in other ways even if they don't have a SAHP.

If a SAHP thinks that their partner's professional success is really anything they achieved, they are crazy. Supportive yes. Making it easier yes. Their achievement no.

Good disguise though sun

Hmm face and grin face

Nearly didn't spot you

This 'he couldn't work all these hours if it wasn't for me staying at home with kids' comment makes me chuckle every time.

If it wasn't for you he wouldn't have all these kids! He wouldn't need to feed extra 2+ mouths and all associated expenses! It's just such an entitled point of view in my opinion.

I love the fact I earn and don't have to rely on handouts from my husband. Yes, most people say they have shared finances but really, how do you spend someone else's hard earned cash on yourself and still feel content?

No judgement just sheer inability to even get into that mindset.

Yeah yoda what sun said

Pm me

Actually dont...ill never be able to keep my trap shut

sun

It's cool 'rufus' and 'jaques' - I knew Yoda wasn't on about me (I don't think so anyway!)

😉

Curiositykilled you are a dckhead.

You've started a bitchfest between women. People have different lives. Someone's worth isn't measured by the size of their salary. Grow up!*

Completely agree with this. As if women haven't already got enough to fucking deal with without ripping each other to pieces as well...

Yoda may have been on about ME though!

Whoop - He has always been very anxious about long term financial security. I do understand that but he earns enough and we do have savings. He isn't desperate for me to go back either, but I know in balance he would rather I found a job now than wait another year until our youngest is at school which is what I want.
Even as a couple we have different priorities and his has always been financial security whilst mine has been what is best for our dc. This is not a comment on working parents' priorities generally - he does put financial security highest, and thinks 'kids will be fine whatever' which is why I say he is not prioritising that.

Our personal circumstances (additional needs for one child, dp working long hours and living far away from my family meaning my going back to work would mean very hotch potch pre- and post- school care for my dc) mean I am strongly of the opinion that if I can be here for them now until my youngest starts school too then it is best for them. Not essential but better.
If he was an attentive parent and had been made redundant from his job whilst I still had mine and we could afford him to be a sahp I would be absolutely happy with that. In fact I can't say I love bring a sahp and would have frequently welcomed a role reversal at times! It is the way it worked out for us and now we are just trying to negotiate the best way forward for our family, as everyone is x

ethel

I dunno

whoop has posted an actual sock puppet

Shit just got real!!

sun

REALLY wanna know who the sock accounts are.

Will someone PM me? Yoda???

I understand if you don't want to, and won't be offended.

I googled sock puppet & couldn't resist!

Ah well, clearly I'm not enough of a go-getter as ex-H does the SAHD thing when I need him to.

Ah well. I can live with that: and yes, he contributes to my achievement and can take ownership of that. Doesn't diminish it for me in any way. You'd have to be very insecure for that to worry you

LOL at the sock puppet face.

I love the fact I earn and don't have to rely on handouts from my husband. Yes, most people say they have shared finances but really, how do you spend someone else's hard earned cash on yourself and still feel content?
I guess I’m high-flying at accepting handouts too.

I have no problem spending money on me because it’s our money, not his money. And because he’d be horrified if he thought I was going without something that mattered to me because WE decided I’d stay home with the kids.

Thanks for answering dont & it makes sense. I'm not judging & you might have missed my earlier threads. I would not like to support my husband & think it would affect our relationship however he does support me somewhat (I'm p/t).

AccrualIntentions

Good luck with the divorce, when it inevitably comes

Aww sweetie, divorce isn't the inevitable conclusion of marriage! Some of us are still dreamily in love 15 years in. Sorry if you've had a bad experience. But I'm good thanks!

I love the fact I earn and don't have to rely on handouts from my husband. Yes, most people say they have shared finances but really, how do you spend someone else's hard earned cash on yourself and still feel content?

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

@MistressPage I fucking love you.

@MistressPage 15? Wow, you get less for murder. Don't be concerned about me 'sweetie'.

Back atcha sun

Do you carry a pomander sunandmoonshine if that mere post make you ill?so much so you repasted it...