to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

[Curiositykilledthecat113]

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

Thanks rufus, it's hard to keep up! Your right (& Jacques) re societal pressures. My DH didn't even consider going p/t & doubt he would even if I outearned him. Annoyed me at first tbh but he has been very supportive of me setting up my business.

it is not possible to do this without a wife who is a SAHM who claims 1/2 credit for your achievements

Not ALWAYS possible. Totally industry dependent as to what the requirements are.

I run my own business now I am a single parent. Had ex-H had a "normal" job then my presence wouldn't have made life so, so much easier. He didn't.

But then I don't claim "1/2 credit". I do claim credit (and indeed he gives me credit) for making it easier and quicker and less stressful for him to get through the building phase into the success phase.

I'm sorry you didn't find a supportive enough husband to enable you not to work

Good luck with the divorce, when it inevitably comes.

Natalia

Yes 'gave up careers of a lot of money' is not particularly elegant, is it?

here's your medal peaches

How do you manage the 6am starts? Or the evening meetings? Or the week long trips?

Both myself and my husband would say we are a team. Neither of us would be where we are today without the support of each other. We have one pot. All earnings go in and all bills come out. If we want something we get it out of the pot. Simple.

I am incredibly proud of my husband and his job, I wouldn't take his achievements as my own - however I have sacrificed my career to look after OUR children for him to achieve them. So again we've worked together for him to gain those qualifications or manage to work those hours. I work part time for a company as well as run my own small business. (All around the children) Which I also wouldn't have without the support from my husband.

I don't get the whole his and mine, your money my money thing either.

Another very happy SAHM here who freely chose to leave an interesting and well-paid job to care for my family. I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me.

The point about vulnerability interests me though. Surely any relationship leaves you vulnerable in some ways. If you spent all your life trying to ensure you never relied on your partner or spouse surely that would create problems in many relationships.

As I said @curiositykilledthecat113, if anyone DID say something, it is only in reaction to your vile comments about SAHM's, and your goading, and your vitriol, and your baiting!

You started all this, so don't even fucking start bitching about the very few snarky comments YOU have received!

Totally industry dependent as to what the requirements are.

Utter utter bullshit.

A successful achiever will get there anyway. Their partner may make it easier but they don't achieve.

A SAHP sure makes it easier,cheaper and less guilt ridden but it does not give that person entitlement to claim the achievement.

Posted this earlier but it's easy to make similar arrangements via parents, great grandparents, au pairs, paid nanny etc etc.

The person's achievements are their own. Desperately clawing your way into their entitlement to their own success is a way of justifying your life choices and undermining their work.

Re vulnerablity I think it's more pertinent today with less maintenance awarded in settlements & judges expecting women to go back to work.

@ALittleMoreEducation

Clearly your user name is apt. I said in my post that I made it easier and quicker for him.

I am intrigued as to how you know the ins and outs of every industry though. When your partner works in one that gets calls at 10pm on Sunday to say "come to California tomorrow morning" it helps to have someone to deal with that. Or when your partner has to work 4/5 days at the office coming up to deadline without coming home.

Curiositykilled you are a d*ckhead.

You've started a bitchfest between women. People have different lives. Someone's worth isn't measured by the size of their salary. Grow up!

Definitely whoop

Have your own litte BarbarianMum for unfairly dissing Peaches

How do you manage the 6am starts? Or the evening meetings? Or the week long trips?

Yeah because single mothers just can't do this can they? So incompetent, disorganised and lacking a support network or a SAHM for a wife?

Simply not possible for a single mother to make a 6am start is it? Just not possible.

Get over yourself and have a bit more respect for working single mothers.

Desperately clawing your way into their entitlement to their own success is a way of justifying your life choices and undermining their work

Oh and I have never "clawed my way in". Ex-H has always openly acknowledge my contribution. Certainly not something I requested.

There's enough sockpuppetry on this thread to entertain a whole class of 5 year olds. Fab.

Is there yoda

Man im rubbish as spotting those things

Like trolls (no one on this thread) i have no trolldar

This working mum lark is a piece of piss really Barbarian. You should give it a try sometime.

Well I am not a sockpuppet!

Neither am I.

I dont think anyone has accused you of that sun

I am not a sock puppet either

@sunandmoonshine

sun

Thats funny

I’m a barrister and earn 100k with opportunities for more in future as I gain more experience, I have two daughters both of which have never felt less important because I had a career which allowed them to live the fulfilling lives they have and will live.

Most families don't earn anything like £100k (I assume you meant per year). Are you honestly suggesting the majority of children don't have fulfilling lives because their parents aren't in the tiny minority of people who earn such a salary?

We enjoy lots of fulfilling activities and experiences that cost very little or are free. For our family (I'm not saying this is the case for everyone), having a stay at home parent has been more important to our DC's fulfilment than any income I could have earned outside the home.

Have to admit, I cannot spot multiple pseudonym people either Rufus.

Do spill Yoda! Who are they?