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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

999 replies

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 10:24

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

OP posts:
Wingbing · 21/10/2017 19:03

DH is a SAHD and his support allows me to put in the commitment and take care of most things at home

I was reading about the mental load the other day and he really does carry it much more than I do.

My burgeoning success is down to both of us and he could take some credit for it (he doesn't) so I can see why some SAHMs would feel that way.

GetAHaircutCarl · 21/10/2017 19:03

If it carries on much longer they may not let me on!!!

NataliaOsipova · 21/10/2017 19:04

OK splendid it that's let's in a round about way compare Sah to prostitutes.

No, please let's. This is my all time favourite. Seriously. I actually worked out my hourly rate last time this came up on a thread like this and I came to the realisation that I must be really fucking hot. Totally steaming hot, in fact. And I never knew Grin. Mr Osipova was quite pleased about it too, as I actually decided it was all rather kinky and he had a more fruity Wednesday evening than he might normally have expected. So everyone was a winner Grin

Wingbing · 21/10/2017 19:05

"He takes care of most things at home"

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 19:06

@MistressPage

I adore being a SAHM. I live the life of Riley and am happy as Larry.
Smile

OP you might feel sorry for me, crack on. I feel sorry for your kids if you think parenting them is so unimportant that you might just as well hire someone in to do it.

I'm sorry you didn't find a supportive enough husband to enable you not to work

Ouch... BURNNNNN!! Grin

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 19:07

Someone said SAHMs are prostitutes? Shock

Who the ducking hell said THAT?

NataliaOsipova · 21/10/2017 19:07

If it carries on much longer they may not let me on!!!

Definitely the sign of a good holiday Grin

Ta1kinPeece · 21/10/2017 19:09

When we were at the Buck House Garden Party, it was interesting that everybody assumed I was the plus one rather than DH

whoopwhoop21 · 21/10/2017 19:14

These are both nonsense!

let's in a round about way compare Sah to prostitutes

I'm sorry you didn't find a supportive enough husband to enable you not to work

Original poster
Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 19:15

@mistresspage OP you might feel sorry for me, crack on. I feel sorry for your kids if you think parenting them is so unimportant that you might just as well hire someone in to do it.
I'm sorry you didn't find a supportive enough husband to enable you not to work grin

As if only SAHM’s can give the right parenting and working hard and actually achieving things is saying that you think your kids are “unimportant.” You try to defend SAHM’s yet you slander working mums at the same time, that doesn’t make you a big person.

Some people don’t have to find a supportive man because some people are able to support themselves, others, such as yourself, can credit their greatest achievement to finding a good husband that’s fine. You’ve only succeeded in making me feel sorry for you even more because you credit your greatest success to finding a man, what a sad, sad person you are.

Apologies to the calm SAHM’s who have given their opinion on this thread with grace, but it people like the poster above who show that not all SAHM’s are doing it for the right reasons, some of them, like Mistresspage, are just lazy.

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 21/10/2017 19:15

Ooh talkin why we're you at BH?

JaneEyre70 · 21/10/2017 19:18

Work? No thanks. I love being a SAHM, it's being the most amazing experience to bring our DDs up and now spend time helping one of them raise her babies. We have a gorgeous home, in a gorgeous part of the countryside and my days are my own to do whatever I like with. DH has been able to solely focus on running an amazing business, and I couldn't be prouder of what he's achieved. There is money in the bank to spend on family/friends as well as ourselves, and we enjoy a bloody good life. There is no job in this world that would have tempted me away from my kids when they needed me, and even now there are only 2 at home I love them arriving home and sharing the day over a cup of tea. Our home is always filled with love and laughter, cheeky grandchildren seeing as our DD and them are here every day, and both of our DDs boyfriends seem to gravitate here than towards their own homes. That makes me feel I've done something very very right. I feel very sorry for women who miss out on such wonderful years with their kids tbh. If that makes me sad, sad rocks Wink.

JacquesHammer · 21/10/2017 19:19

but it people like the poster above who show that not all SAHM’s are doing it for the right reasons, some of them, like Mistresspage, are just lazy

Why on EARTH do you think you're the correct person to decide what the "right reasons" are for someone to become a SAHP. The only people who make that decision are the couple involved

ftw · 21/10/2017 19:19

OP, I’m really fulfilled being a SAHM, perhaps that’s why I’m so good at it. A high-flying SAHM, if you will. It probably helps that my DH is better than your DH. And my DC are cuter than yours. Fact.

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 19:21

@curiositykilledthecat113

Some people don’t have to find a supportive man because some people are able to support themselves, others, such as yourself, can credit their greatest achievement to finding a good husband that’s fine. You’ve only succeeded in making me feel sorry for you even more because you credit your greatest success to finding a man, what a sad, sad person you are.

Apologies to the calm SAHM’s who have given their opinion on this thread with grace, but it people like the poster above who show that not all SAHM’s are doing it for the right reasons, some of them, like Mistresspage, are just lazy.

PMSL what a ludicrous and laughable response!!! ,@mistresspage is obviously just taking the piss and having a laugh! Anyone could see that.

Obviously went over YOUR head!

I think YOU are the truly sad, sad, person!

PoorYorick · 21/10/2017 19:22

I work and I don't care about Mistresspage's comment. She was responding to your own nasty patronising attack on SAHMs.

Original poster
Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 19:22

@MistressPage

Also, Mistresspage, because you were so curious about my own private life. I don’t have a husband, because I was able to divorce him since I wasn’t relying on him for money.

I’m a barrister and earn 100k with opportunities for more in future as I gain more experience, I have two daughters both of which have never felt less important because I had a career which allowed them to live the fulfilling lives they have and will live.

What have you achieved? Raised some children? How original. People all over the world do that and more.

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 21/10/2017 19:22

Aye aye, a couple at the other end of the lounge are having a barney.

A British affair in hushed voices but still...I'd recommend the Chenin Blanc but that might not help.

stitchglitched · 21/10/2017 19:22

OP you can't start a goady thread deliberately to bash SAHMs and then get the arse when someone insults you back.

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 19:23

@Curiositykilledthecat113

Tell you what OP, you are becoming nastier and more spiteful with every post you put. And you are sounding more bitter and envious of SAHMs too.

I pity you.

JacquesHammer · 21/10/2017 19:24

What have you achieved? Raised some children? How original. People all over the world do that and more

Aren't you the paragon of womanhood, and yet your own insecurities are glaringly obvious from your patronising and deliberately antagonistic posts

Still. All that money can't buy you class can it?

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 21/10/2017 19:25

But then, Jane eyre, I might feel sorry for you missing out on the opportunities and development my career has brought me. That would be equally silly to your position. Different people need different things out of life. If you get comfortable with that then you won’t need to make sneery digs about women missing out on their kids. Did your dh miss out - I’m sure he didn’t. No more do I.

MistressPage · 21/10/2017 19:25

Heehee touched a nerve have I OP?

I don't remember saying being a SAHM is my greatest achievement. I've lots of those. A BAFTA being one of them.

But you DO seem a bit jealous if those of us who have taken a break from working to enjoy our children and revel in a little domestic bliss.

Look to your own life and stop judging others. And if you're not happy then change stuff Smile

NotAgainYoda · 21/10/2017 19:26

What a load of hosrsehit this thread is

GetAHaircutCarl · 21/10/2017 19:28

Never mind pitying SAHPs, pity me.

I am in the purgatory that is the BA Lounge waiting for a delayed flight. I have drunk 16 litres of complimentary wine and eaten everything from an open sandwich to a bag of paprika crisps.