You're so lucky that your husband helps around the house

[zumabuma]

What is wrong with society these days? I am "lucky" that my husband "helps" me around his own house???!!
Helps???
This use of word I'd really bringing me to a rage just lately. This is supposed to be the 21st century when women go out to work too, why are young women still so "grateful" when their husband does something to "help" at home?
It's angering me. My DH is almost given angel-like treatment by female friends, because he's so "helpful."
He does his share. That's it!

mydc had a point though, whoever is at home (in my opinion) should do more of the housework.
E.g. when DH went back to university and had fewer hours, he did more than me. Now I'm a teacher, i do almost everything in the school holidays. Term time we split 50/50.
I don't really get it when people say 'i am at home and am so busy i can't do things and DP shpuld really come in from work, do 50% of the housework and take the kids off me because I've had them all day'.

Some parents work part-time and have DCS on their "days off." Therefore, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the other partner to take on their "share" of the housework. I also don't think it's unreasonable for them to do so when the other parent is a SAHP; parenting is full on and I'm sorry, but there is no way ALL of the chores can be done whilst taking care of young children. Nonsense.

This drives me mad. Along with "oh he's so well trained!" which I got from our live in landlady a lot when we were lodgers 😑 dhs mum every said it last week. DH does most of the laundry and we generally share the rest equally when we're both at home. Because we're both functioning adults and able to do the household chores. I wish people would stop infantilising grown adults because they have a penis!

I'm not lucky, I just didn't marry a dick.

I feel your pain op. Men (and women and children) do chores because they are people who live in the house and therefore contribute.

Sometimes in this house I do more, sometimes he does. Just depends what's going on. We each have different strengths and weaknesses and preferred chores but we all muck in.

I can live with the ‘babysitting’ as I often refer to myself as ‘the babysitter’if he’s out alone as I order in pizza and watch shit tv

I think if my DP referred to himself as ‘helping’ around the house he’d get a photo of my payslip with the words ‘helping you support the family’ in Sharpie underneath

I hate the expression “ I’ve done X for you” - it’s not for me! DH only says that as a joke now though!
I don’t work whereas DH is self employed & works long hours so most of the housework & cooking is down to me.

DH does hisbfair share

He has his own routine and happily cleans the bathrooms and puts a load on, he'll pick the kids up and take them to appointments and we share 'ill days' usually AM/PM when they aren't well
He'll run the bath and put washing away

Basically if it needs doing he'll do it

5 people live here so it's not 'fair' to expect one person to do all the jobs

I'm not lucky (unless you count the tea in bed every morning)

I don't think it's lucky if your other half does housework and nor do I think it is unlucky if they don't.

Be firm. Split responsibilities fairly. End of.

My DP was congratulated by a woman in the playground last week for being able to 'cope' with (his own) 2 dc at the same time

I know, amazing isn't it.

😂😂😂
It's like the 1940s!

Some parents work part-time and have DCS on their "days off." Therefore, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the other partner to take on their "share" of the housework
Not saying the person working full time should do nothing, but it should be proportionate to the time at home.
E.g. person who is a SAHP should do a larger proportion than someone working.
Person who is part time should do more than person working full time.

Working isn't a pass to do nothing, but i still dislike this idea of 'i'm so unbelievably busy that even though DP works a 50 hour week they should do the same amount of chores as me whrn i'm at home all the time' (so busy that they have loads of time to sit on Mumsnet complaining about their lack of time to run a hoover round a room)

Thankfully, DH and I are on the same page on this. Whoever is at home does a bigger share.

I take a Friday off work and sacrifice the money and stress having to catch up every Monday to be “home” with my ds. There’s no bloody way I’m spending that day doing housework!!
If I’m “at home all day” with ds we are out swimming and biking and enjoying time together when he’s not in Nursery.

I am not deluded I have three 2 year olds and manange the housework with them at home. I wouldn't expect dh to come home and start hoovering when I am at home.

Totally agree OP, this is right up there with the rage I get at the expression “full time mum”. I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that when I went to my job I stopped being a mum

My dh doesn't help, he does nearly all of it. It's not really my thing.

Oh my goodness!!! 'Full time mum' !!!! I haven't heard that one for a while but....

Aaarghhgghhhh!!

Ugh, I hate this shit. Also "babysitting" your own child. Currently trying to get my DP out of telling me after he's done the washing/dishwasher/hoovered

Yes! Every time I’m out without DD without fail someone will ask if DH is babysitting her I call them out on it every time. People must think I’m a right mardy cow

My mum and dad both worked and shared things equally. There was never any big fanfare that my dad did housework - he just got on and did it - cooking, ironing, childcare etc. This was in the 70s, so a loooong time ago. I think it's the reason why I would NEVER tolerate anything different from any man and don't think it's remarkable if a bloke does his share and is NOT something to congratulate them on.

I've got an acquaintance who comments to any man she sees pushing a pram/with a small child etc, 'oh well done you, what a fabulous modern father'. Oh do fuck off and stop giving out praise to men looking after THEIR OWN CHILDREN!!!!

My Dh left a school event to cook dinner for us all. My friend asked where he had gone. When I told her, she said, ' oh that's good of him.' Not if he wants eat

I’m on maternity leave and I have an easy life compared to my OH who works. I get to spend my dad enjoying my baby rather than being at where I don’t want to be - work. I get to do fun things, visit friends and family. I see my year off as a lovely long holiday. Why should my OH come home and do half the housework when I have the time to do it myself. I think I’ve got the better deal.

Maisypops: so a day at home with DCS.

-Give them breakfast
-clear up breakfast
-dress them.and shower yourself
-take them to the park for a couple of hours so that they get some fresh air
-home for lunch- cook
-clear up after lunch
-fold the laundry once it has finished washing/drying and put away
-play a game with now bickering DCS or watch something together
-prepare dinner
-cook dinner
-wash up
This is not including nappy changing, toileting, change of clothes after accidents, breaking up the squabbling, rubbing cuts and bruises, cuddles and quality time.

Please tell me where in the 'day at home' with DCS there is time to do any extra housework? Please enlighten me as I'm clearly doing it all wrong.

You have three 2 year old McDc? 😞 Right.

Grrrr I HATE this! I had a silent rage at my MIL who, when my twins were 6 weeks old and I was breastfeeding them and recovering from a csection and horrible stay in hospital, said that I was very 'lucky' that her son was willing to help with the babies and around the house. i thought he was fucking lucky to have someone who stayed at home with our 2 colicky newborn twins alone 5 days a week to be honest, whether or not any housework got done.

This reminds me of when I had just had DD1. Literally days after me giving birth, exMIL came around to help ME hoover. Because that's not something I should have to do!

It made me so angry, if she was helping anyone surely it was her son???