To think that an 11 year old doesn't need..

[Misspollyhadadollie]

A baby sitter? (During the day)

Yes my 11 year old dd in y7 has been alone in the house since 8.30 this morning. I'm still at work.
She's been messing around watching TVs and snap chatting

Seems like this is one of those ABIUs where most people disagree with the OP, who then gets mad at being disagreed with.

I don't think most 11 year olds need a babysitter and do think independence is very important.

However many adults would go stir crazy if under "house arrest" during all school holidays.

It is how long is a piece of string because the reality of being "home alone" is not really being alone at all for some kids, and is not being allowed to open a door or window or answer the phone for others...

In Scotland the average 11 year old will still be in primary school.

at that age mine would let themselves in after school for a short time. At 12ish we could could out for an early meal by ourselves and be home about 8ish with a neighbour informed.

In the holidays from 12 ish I did a mixture of working at home, going into work early and coming home early plus days off and the ocassional day where they were alone all day. Gradually extending time out and whole days left. At 16/17 they are perfectly able to stay at home alone and overnight if required.

They probably started on independence a bit later than I did but they've got to the same place by the time they needed to.

Do I sound mad? I'm enjoying this lol

I'm talking year7 I thought year 7 was 11?

WaxOn probably not in nice residential areas in Toronto though! 😂

I wouldn't leave my 12 year old for longer than an hour or two, and certainly not all day and wouldn't even consider it with an 11 year old.

It is both lonely for her and potentially dangerous. What will she do all day just stuck inside.

Life is not the way it used to be, we used to know all of our neighbours and there would always be someone we could speak to if we were worried, these days everyone is out working or we don't know who they are. Life has changed and we need to adapt. Just because it was safe twenty/thrity years ago doesn't make it safe now.

PS I think we are better and more caring than our parents were. Mine were very relaxed to the point of negligence.

It wasn't 20-30 years ago I was left... I'm not that old lol was half that time.

We have primary 7 rather than year 7 in Scotland and the cut of dates are differerent. Anyone aged 5 from 1st March would start school in P1 in August and in theory that means than 4 year olds who turn 5 up until end February also start in August before they turn 5. A lot of the younger DC get deferred until the following year. They stay in primary until the end of P7

The reality is that most DC will be 12 or coming up to 12 before they start high school.

Child care is generally available until the end of primary and sometimes up to age 14.

No I wouldn’t, it’s not about the perceived responsibility of the child. It’s about the emotional neglect aspect. Leaving an eleven year old child alone for a work day is shitty parent I think and very selfish.

Who said you sounded mad MissPolly ? You just sound as if you haven't really thought much about your opinions, and a bit young and lacking in empathy or awareness about a situation you haven't been in as a parent yet.

You made a sweeping statement which can sometimes be correct and sometimes be incorrect, depending on 101 factors, but didn't think about all the different circumstances it included, and seem quite rigid in your opinions.

Most 11 year olds don't need a babysitter for a couple of hours in the day and most can be left longer without a babysitter if they are happy to be and live in a(n as) safe (as is realistically ever the case) community with neighbours at home friends and/ or relatives within close walking distance...

If you can write something in one sentence it will often turn out to be an oversimplification.

Seems the opposite of selfish to me.

CountDuckula We have family in Toronto - probably no bears and also in Prince Rupert - probably bears :)

My daughters almost 13. I am happy to go out and leave her a few hours. And I would go the full day if she had plans to go get friends and go swimming, bowling, cinema etc. Otherwise leaving her in all days a bit shit. I'd be bored stuck in all day doing nothing so wouldn't expect her to do the same and she prefers to be out socialising not sat anti socially on a computer.

She was left at eleven for an hour or so. It's still quite young. There was an incident where one of her friends used the iron a couple of years ago and went out. It had fallen on the ground and burned through the carpet right through to the floorboards. If that had started a fire and she'd been alone, ss would definitely be interested!

I know a jobcentre sanctioned my friend for not attending a workfare program for 8 weeks because she didn't want to leave her 11 year old at home on his own every day over the summer hols and couldn't afford sports camp as she wasn't get paid it was a placement

Apparently once kids are in secondary school parents have to apply for any job and this worries me as a single parent whose child has additional needs in the likelihood of being sanctioned because I for e.g turn a job down that is evening hours

Misspolly- how is it not selfish to fail to find a babysitter and to then just leave an eleven year old alone all day? It’s hardly mindful and considerate if the needs of an eleven year old child, is it?

If it’s a sensible 11 year old, for a one off then yes, I would? Every day for 2 weeks? No! That would also depend on how far away my work was because if anything was to actually go tits up then I don’t think i would want a particularly long, worried trip home!

Personally I wouldn't leave an 11 year old at home all day whilst I was at work, but not sure I'd necessarily get a babysitter.

If it was in the holidays, I'd try an book on one of those clubs or something (soccer schools or whatever), speak to the parents of his friends and see if he could spend the day with them (with the promise of returning the favour!) or see if any of my family would spend the day out with him.

Well it's going out to work to provide for the child not to the pub for a piss up. And yes I am not surprised by the job centre comment.

Misspollyhadadollie so did I and went nc with all my family, worked, paid rent & went to college, what’s your point? not everyone is the same. I was just saying there is a massive difference between 11-15. I’d happily not worry to much about a 14/15yr old all day but just because an 11yr old could be left unattended for long periods I still wouldn’t unless I knew family or friends could check in on them. It just seems kind of negligent to me.

Look op, if you were completely relaxed about it you wouldn't be posting on here canvassing opinion. The point is you seem to have your doubts.

You have your doubts is to be a good parent. It clearly says on the NSPCC website that children under twelve should not be left alone and aren't mature enough to deal with an emergency. I would second that.

There is a questionnaire for anyone whom is interested leaving their child alone:

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/leaving-child-home-alone/

It wasn't 20-30 years ago I was left... I'm not that old lol was half that time

I’m amazed it was even that long.

From your writing style, I assumed you were the 11 yo in question posting to garner support for your bid to get your mum to leave you home alone.