To think that an 11 year old doesn't need..

[Misspollyhadadollie]

A baby sitter? (During the day)

I wouldn't see it as a childcare option for the holidays but as a one off if they were happy and I knew a few of the neighbours were around just in case then I would. I do after school up to around 7pm latest (ie due back 6 to 6.30 with a risk of a bit later - but I would be ringing her to check alls well etc. Mine is now 12 and yr 8 though, can do a few basic meals - pasta, baked pot, scrambled egg or beans etc

I don't have an 11 year old no

Haha hahaha.

I was left for a few hours at that age, and all day during the holidays from 12. My parents had to work and there was no childcare/holiday clubs for secondary age then. There were sports camps, but I couldn't get there without being given a lift, as my parents had to be at work before they started.

I think most children are more than capable of being left alone at 11/12, so long as they've had lots of experience and practise, building up over a few years. You can't expect an 11yo who's never been left alone, to manage on their own all day, but one who's been left for mornings/afternoons for a while should manage fine.

How often would you plan to leave your hypothetical child home alone and for how long? When you choose to have children, you choose to take on the responsibility of having children. Yes it can cost money and be inconvenient at times but it is part of being a parent/guardian. I would not be at all surprised to be on the receiving end of at least one visit from SS if this were a regular occurrence. It is a safeguarding issue whether you think so or not.

Oh I do know. I'm a single parent with no help. So yes I will. Great if you have loads of help then you won't have to.

Ss would not be interested. It's perfectly fine to leave an 11 year old for a few hours during the day.

Totally depends on the child. My 11 year old is completely fine for a few hours, my 15 year old I still won’t leave for a full day and wouldn’t have left at all at 11.

As for saying your parents did it so why couldn't you...there's lots of things parents did decades ago which would not be acceptable nowadays.

deepest I agree, but it's a bit of a shitty school holiday or weekend shut inside alone if it's every day, not a one off.

Sweethearts arrangement sounds great but he isn't literally alone in the house all day - nothing wrong with something like that at 11.

Misspolly are you being asked to babysit your nephew by any chance?

It's perfectly fine to leave an 11 year old for a few hours during the day.

Which people said it was ok (for most children), but not the whole day.

Oh I do know. I'm a single parent with no help.

That's your plan. You don't know because you don't know how your child will be at that age. None of us know. We adapt our parenting to the children we have.

I wouldn't leave an 11 yo alone all day, no. Maybe for an hour or so, if I had to go out, but not all day while I'm at work.

I agree of course social services wouldn't be interested in an 11 year old home alone in a warm, clean house with plenty of food. It's just a bit clostrophobic if it's every day not a one off.

No sister leaves him.

I saw something on Facebook about a local secondary school is going to be giving 2 weeks off every half term and the comments were "it's going to put a lot of pressure on working parents" and it got me thinking who actually needs a baby sitter for a secondary school age child.. If they are able to go to and from school on their own, which I think is riskier, surely they can be left home for the day!

I'd leave my 11 year old for an hour or so but certainly not all day - I work a long way from home so couldn't get back very easily. We also live rurally so no neighbours if there was a problem. I can't see I'd leave dc for a while day for a couple of years yet!

I'd leave mine for an hour but she'd be so lonely and aimless left all day, it seems unnecessary. Plus they aren't all that well equipped to deal with little problems, men with parcel delivery, etc I'd rather dump her at a friend's house tbh

DD is 11, and lets herself in after school for 2-3 hours in the afternoons. She makes herself a snack (often using microwave or oven or kettle (on pot noodle type things) - but she's not confident enough and nor are we about letting her use the gas hob while we're out). She does her homework, and any other jobs we've agreed (empty the dishwasher, or set the table for dinner). And then she looses all track of time in front of the Xbox.

We've left her for just over an hour at night, if DH is away for me to go to my pilates class. She finishes watching her show, makes her hot chocolate in the microwave and heads to bed - but I am not entirely convinced that she doesn't extend her bedtime slightly, as she's often suspiciously awake when I get home!

But she would not be happy herself with being alone all day. And neither would we. There are many afternoons when I get a call from her, to check what she can eat but as often as not, a reason for a chat. And some evenings I will get a call when I am on my way home, checking that I am en route and when I will get home. She doesn't have friends in when we're not there (and is very good about that). And she hasn't yet moved on to getting the bus to the local town herself - she will before the summer, but an upset this summer on camp from another parent really knocked her confidence and set things back months.

If she had a half day from school, so home for maybe 6 hours, I would be happy to leave her but probably get home early. But not the whole day yet - she can't find enough things to entertain herself, and while she would cope, I think she would be lonely and upset before the end of the day.

But she

I would for the whole day as a one off. But only if I knew that there were reliable neighbours at home who the child could go to in an emergency. And I'd probably check in by phone a few times.

deepest I agree, but it's a bit of a shitty school holiday or weekend shut inside alone if it's every day, not a one off.

Who said about being shut inside alone all day? I went out with my friends to town, went to the park, sometimes my friends' parents invited me on days out to the beach or the zoo or the nearest "big city" for the day, or my parents' would have days off and we'd go out places, and they were always around at weekends to do things.

I was happier being left to my own devices than I ever was at holiday club - I hated all the group activities and the forced jollity of it all. I had a phone to keep in touch with my parents, and my mum rang me at lunch, and if I went out, I always had to text to let her or my dad know. The only rules were a) don't use the oven and b) be back for when my dad finished work, which was at 5pm or so.

I have an 11 yo, 12 in Feb. I wouldn't leave him all day whilst I was at work. A few hours is fine. Next year I probably would.

If they are able to go to and from school on their own, which I think is riskier, surely they can be left home for the day!

Many parents still take their secondary school children to school.

Walking along a street, at the same time as many other kids and adults poses different risks to being home alone, but it's not necessarily riskier.

At that age, I used to bring mine to work or find holiday activities.

OP I think that being left alone over half term would be really boring for the child. A few hours every afternoon after school is fine. But 10 hours a day for a week would drag by very slowly.

I don’t know if I’d leave an 11 year old alone all day as there would be a lot of variables to consider. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t let a child of any age play computer games all day though.

I was left alone all day as an 11 year old. I really hated it. And I was too young. I wouldn't dream of doing that to ds.

The children round here go on there own.. Most I would say as the buses are packed before and after school. I just remember my life as a young teen going to secondary school I was constantly approached by men who didn't give a damn that I was in a school uniform.

I think they would get bored alone all day too. I used to nanny for an 11yr old and her younger sister. She needed just as much support - occupying, motivating and stopping her from playing on computers all day!