To think this is stealing?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Dd1 (9) had two siblings for a play date yesterday (9 and 10). My only rule is that my bedroom is out of bounds. I asked dd1 to fetch me my sewing kit from my room - what i later found out is one or both of the siblings followed her in and ate some of my sweets. Dd1 is autistic so cannot easily lie and rarely breaks rules so i believe her when she said she didn't touch anything.

I spoke to the other mum this morning and said i wasn't sure which of her kids had stolen but i thought she'd want to know. She laughed and said its not stealing just sweets. Surely going somewhere you are not allowed and removing something is stealing? Or AIBU? I'd be furious if it was mine! Fair enough a 2 year old but surely by 9 and 10 you should know what not to touch.

It’s nothing to do with monetary value.

It’s everything to do with them being sweets and they ate them.

It’s nothing to do with monetary value. It’s everything to do with them being sweets and they ate them.

Actually I think you'll find its about them going ito someones room, stealing them, and then eating them.

My husband once stole one of my chips off my plates, thieving bastard, knew I should have reported him to the police.

And don’t tell me it’s not the same, just because we’re married doesn’t I’ve him the right to steal my food and eat it.

My kids aren't allowed to help themselves to food in my house, let alone someone else's. I'd be absolutely mortified if they'd done that. They have no right to take other people's stuff-sweets or otherwise.

"Mooching" usually is asking someone for something a bit cheekily.

Going out of your way to take something that is obvious to a 9 or 10 yr old is not left out for public consumption isnt the same thing at all.

Would you go into my house of your parents friends and steal the chips off the plate they keep in their bedroom Babyjunglesafari?

I buy myself very expensive chocolates now and again for a special treat and make them last. If any of ds's friends went into my room and helped themselves i would be bloody raging.

Baby thats nothing like someone coming into your house and taking something that doesnt belong to them dont be silly.

Are people seriously arguing that its not stealing?

Cool...would they mind giving me their address so i can pop round, I fancy a chocolate bar

Cool...would they mind giving me their address so i can pop round, I fancy a chocolate bar

Save yourself the bother, nip to your local shop and lift one off the shelf. Im sure it will be ok.

I’ve not once said to call the police it’s minor but it is still stealing. It really is.

Wasn’t there a thread recently where the daughter went into the mums room and repeatedly nicked her chocolates even after being told not to and the box was near done, didn’t that get called stealing? Why is this any different?

I'd be mortified if my dcs did this in someone else's house and annoyed if children who were visiting did this in my house.

Last week I was staying with my sister who works shifts and therefore her bedtime is when I'm going to work. I wore one of her skirts which I accessed by opening her cupboard and retrieving whilst she was in another room sleeping. She was totally unaware. I still have the skirt in my house. I'm wondering how much reward money she'd get by turning me in to the police?

Well actually, that’s not a good analogy Vladimir as I wouldn’t care about a few sweets whereas it would really piss me off when I realised my skirt was missing.

Good for you Vladmirs. I expect youre very proud of yourself

DancingDragon Well done for spectacularly missing my point. You also must be proud of yourself for such obtuse thinking!

I'm pointing out, much like I did when this was a nascent thread how it is firstly ridiculous to consider this 'stealing' and secondly that a child presented with sweets might not maintain the best self-control.

There are people on MN that don't even buy cakes or sweets because they know it would be demolished before having even seen the inside of a kitchen cupboard.

It is patently ridiculous to conflate sexual assault (as was done earlier) with the eating of a couple of sweets and even more so ridiculous to forensically analyse where those sweets were before a 9 or 10yo got their hands on them.

Vlad, a 10 year old should know the difference between wrong and right, stealing sweets from someones room is stealing, and my children wouldnt be demolishing sweets I bought because they wouldn't be allowed to. Presumably you intend to give your sisters skirt back, so quite frankly your comment was ridiculous anyway, hence the reply. Hope this helps.

Dancing It does indeed help. Not least to see that you think a 9/10yo should be considered a thief for helping themselves to a couple of sweets. Tbh there's no point in debating with someone who's views are so ridiculous they're actually laughable. HTH. Like I said in my initial post on this thread, this is like MN on acid.

Indeed I feel the same about your posts Vlad. Really with such a poor role model as yourself theres not a lot of hope for your children is there. Laugh away, really I would expect little else from someone with such a poor moral compass. Sad though.

Stealing doesn’t have an age restriction... I mean, you do know that right? Just because you are young or even a two year old not truly understanding what they were doing, it would still be classed as stealing because stealing describes what is happening and has no age limit.

Pengggwn Perhaps it's a cultural issue? Not sure. I do, however, agree that by 9 or 10yo a parent should have taught their dc not to take things that aren't theirs without asking.

Having said that, I grew up around people and others that wouldn't begrudge 10yo me a sweet. I actually can recall my friends' parents offering me loads of foods or indeed my friends just picking up a box of chocolates or biscuits and eating them whilst playing computer games. Same happened when they came to mine.

My mother would have been truly ashamed to think that anyone could 'steal' food from her house. It seems rather deplorable and petty that anyone could consider a child as 'stealing' a few sweets. If I had been the other mother in the OP's scenario then I'd think 'thank fuck I know that I can cut my ties' one less play date, pick up/drop off.

I often look after my niece whilst my sister is working and if she has friends round I'll order them some pizza or cook some pasta (but oddly enough not demand reimbursement from their respective parents), one of them will ask for ketchup and I'll point to the cupboard, the other will open the fridge and get some water out or whatever without me needing to scrutinise their intentions.

It's a fucking sweet. It doesn't mean they'll go on to trade arms in Somalia or become a miscreant of society.

The day I get annoyed with a child for taking a couple of my sweets is the day I'll give up on living. Even more so if I could 'report' that child to their parents for being a 'thief'.