To think this is stealing?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Dd1 (9) had two siblings for a play date yesterday (9 and 10). My only rule is that my bedroom is out of bounds. I asked dd1 to fetch me my sewing kit from my room - what i later found out is one or both of the siblings followed her in and ate some of my sweets. Dd1 is autistic so cannot easily lie and rarely breaks rules so i believe her when she said she didn't touch anything.

I spoke to the other mum this morning and said i wasn't sure which of her kids had stolen but i thought she'd want to know. She laughed and said its not stealing just sweets. Surely going somewhere you are not allowed and removing something is stealing? Or AIBU? I'd be furious if it was mine! Fair enough a 2 year old but surely by 9 and 10 you should know what not to touch.

[elfinpre]

Why did the OP name change part way through the thread?

[Mumto2two]

I was certainly not trying to patronise anyone Pengyyn, and I'm sorry if you have taken it that way. My original comment was a general chip in, from no other perspective than my own, commenting that while it was bad mannered, it could hardly amount to what we legally define as 'theft'. There are certain requirements for a theft to be recognised as such, and proving dishonest intent is one of them. You instantly challenged that, and it all became a little pedantic from there.
Demanding to know someone's academic/professional credentials, to me seemed a little antagonistic. But I'm sorry if I seemed patronising by making the supposition in trying to explain. It wasn't intended to be.
All in all, it was a ridiculous discussion to even be having in the first place, but that's Mumsnet for you

[derxa]

Imagine if it was a teacher's stash of sweets, on the shelf behind her desk. Imagine if the teacher found out 2 children had taken sweets from her stash without permission. Do you think she would think they had stolen them? I do. This actually happened to me. I didn't make a big hooha about it. I just made sure there were no sweets there again.

[TwattyCatty]

Imagine if the sweets were unicorn shit.

[derxa]

They took them because they're kids and the sweets should have been in a place where they couldn't get them. 'Stealing' is too strong a word.
I told the class that I didn't appreciate what had happened and that was that. Believe me my classroom was not a den of lawlessness.

[HouseholdWords]

This thread is hilarious (although not to the OP, I'm sure). All these posters who think that, because they have different rules, the OP is unreasonable and wrong, instead of just different.

And casting suspicions on her for Keeping.Her.Sewing.Kit in her bedroom. She is surely a social deviant and unreasonable just for that alone.

Some of you need to learn how to think beyond your limited imaginations.

[Lethaldrizzle]

Household we are not saying op is wrong for keeping sweets in her knicker drawer we are saying we wouldn't call it stealing

[Willow2017]

Lethal
Actually plenty people have said she is wrong to do just that, that if she has sweets then they are automatically fair game for anyone no matter where they are but she is especially wrong to have them in her own private space.

So if you had something in your knicker drawer and I went spoaching in your room and found it and took it without your permission I wouldnt have stolen it? Thats great news must try that in the supermarket tomorrow...I will argue that its on the shelves so its fair game for anyone so obviously not stealing.

[HouseholdWords]

we are saying we wouldn't call it stealing

And this is why there are children growing up with blurred boundaries and lax ethical standards. If OP's DD had taken sweets from your child's lunchbox, without permission, having gone to a room she had been told not to enter - would you call that stealing? Or would it be stealing if your child took some sweets from a shop counter? After all, it's just some sweets. Maybe the child shouldn't have had them in a lunchbox/the shop keeper shouldn't have put the sweets where a child could reach.

Stealing = taking without permission.

Which is what the children in the OP did. And what their parent condoned.

And then pp on here blamed the OP . It really is Through the Looking Glass land with some of you on this thread!

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

I agree pen

Its an awesome word

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

They don’t seem to say what it is though if it isn’t stealing. Just saying “it isn’t stealing” isn’t an answer it’s not even a reasonable explanation. The fact is it is stealing regardless of what your rules at home are. Other people aren’t allowed their own rules though, clearly.

[lottieandmia22]

God, is this still going on?!

[Willow2017]

Penn
It is here 😀