To think this is stealing?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Dd1 (9) had two siblings for a play date yesterday (9 and 10). My only rule is that my bedroom is out of bounds. I asked dd1 to fetch me my sewing kit from my room - what i later found out is one or both of the siblings followed her in and ate some of my sweets. Dd1 is autistic so cannot easily lie and rarely breaks rules so i believe her when she said she didn't touch anything.

I spoke to the other mum this morning and said i wasn't sure which of her kids had stolen but i thought she'd want to know. She laughed and said its not stealing just sweets. Surely going somewhere you are not allowed and removing something is stealing? Or AIBU? I'd be furious if it was mine! Fair enough a 2 year old but surely by 9 and 10 you should know what not to touch.

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

Exactly you live by a different code of ethics so why is it ok for the children to ignore the rules stated by the Op? She said not to go into the room and she deems it stealing as do many others, so why are we wrong? I don’t hide sweets either, they live in the cupboard and my child knows where they are she still asks though. If any were to come into my house and just help themselves to food I have in cupboards I wouldn’t be too happy. It is stealing simple as that and stealing is wrong. If you specifically say to a child to help themselves in your home then that’s ok and they can do that. Why is it so hard though to teach your child that they do not take things in another’s home unless told they can. Just teach every child that you do not take until offered regardless of what you do at home becaause other people may have different rules. I see it as stealing and I don’t think I will every see it in any other way. The Op didn’t offer them to the children therefore because they took them it was stealing.

[TwattyCatty]

Yes we know you are utterly at a loss, but why are you still asking for even MORE explanations? You didn't understand the first 10.

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

There is no need for attitude.. I simply put don’t understand how you can say that it is not stealing because at home you have given express permission to help yourselves to sweets. The Op didn’t give that permission for her own home therefore it is stealing. The children have been failed by their mother for not teaching them to wait until offered before taking anything. Also if you are not allowed into a room you certainly won’t be allowed to help yourself to anything inside it. That is common sense though, surely.

[TwattyCatty]

Please do tell us again how you simply don't understand, 12 times isn't quite enough. We get it, you're quite baffled. You'll just have to stay that way.

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

Oh fuck off. This is why I don’t understand your view because you clearly don’t understand how to explain how stealing isn’t stealing

[NikiBabe]

I thought you were going to say some jewellery went missing from your room.

Sweets?

Edit your rules. Either your bedroom is out of bounds or it is not. You should have got your sewing kit yourself if you dont want them in your bedroom.

I have to say though sewing kits and sweets.....I dont store anything like that in a bedroom.

[NikiBabe]

So all of your dc do what they are told no matter what? All the time. At school, at home, everywhere?!

Riiiiight. I believe you.

[LemonysSnicket]

It’s minor stealing and I do think you overreacted

[TwattyCatty]

This is why I don’t understand your view because you clearly don’t understand how to explain how stealing isn’t stealing

I've told you ten times. Multiple others have told you many more. And yet you remain baffled. Perhaps you could get a small child to explain it to you? I have a 5 year old who gets the point, you could borrow him?

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

Ok so stealing can be stealing anot stealing simultaneously? Yh I’m sorry I don’t get that. In your home with your rules in place I get that it wouldn’t be stealing however, the Op doesn’t have the same rules as you and she sees t as stealing therefore it is. This isn’t about your home and your rules it’s about the Ops home and her rules and she thinks it’s stealing therefore it is no matter what your opinion on something that has a clear definition is.

[TwattyCatty]

I think that's 15 now is it?

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

Avoiding the facts I have laid out though, aren’t you? Just can’t bare to be wrongim guessing. If it isn’t stealing in your home that is great. But the app has different rules and therefore in this case in her home regardless of what your rules are in your own home, this incident is stealing.

[QuackPorridgeBacon]

Op*

[TwattyCatty]

yeah, we all know what you think. But if you'd like to tell us again, I bet number 17 will be the best one yet.

[Mumto2two]

Just as well we live in a society that is governed by law and not some trumped up arbitrary notions of a blinkered despot. This thread has become nasty & farcical. And there is far too much ignorance to warrant wasting any more time getting drawn in to pointless arguments with people who can't see beyond the ends of their morally high grounded noses.
As said countless times by others, the taking of the sweet by a 9yr or 10yr old child in a playmate's bedroom, was at worst bad mannered, and that I'm sure we all agree. But from a legal, call in the CPS perspective, it would certainly not amount to 'theft'.
Now where's that bowl of sweets I left out earlier...

[Greyponcho]

no one has said anything nasty
Really? It’s bitches galore on this thread... bickering unnecessarily

[Willow2017]

As said countless times by others, the taking of the sweet by a 9yr or 10yr old child in a playmate's bedroom,
It wasnt in their 'playmates bedroom' though was it?
OP's DS didnt have them out on show in her bedroom, nor offer them out.
It was in OPs bedroom where they had been told not to go into. They went in, climbed on the bed and took something from a box. Hardly something you didn't realise you were doing.

Laughing at the suggestions I must be weird cos MY sewing kit is in the cupboard in MY bedroom. Yet another rule I wasnt aware I was breaking, who knew?

[Mumto2two]

I'm sorry Pengyyn, did that ridiculous request really warrant the courtesy of a reply?? You are quite antagonistic and defensive. Do people posting on Mumsnet need to prove their authority for chipping in with their 2 pennies worth??
Would you like me to post a copy of my certificates??
You seem determined to pick points with anyone who has an alternative opinion to yours, and it's really quite sad.

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

Agree with pen

'Bitches' is totally unnecessary

[Rufustherenegadereindeer1]

mum

I dont think your posts are any better at all