To think this is stealing?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Dd1 (9) had two siblings for a play date yesterday (9 and 10). My only rule is that my bedroom is out of bounds. I asked dd1 to fetch me my sewing kit from my room - what i later found out is one or both of the siblings followed her in and ate some of my sweets. Dd1 is autistic so cannot easily lie and rarely breaks rules so i believe her when she said she didn't touch anything.

I spoke to the other mum this morning and said i wasn't sure which of her kids had stolen but i thought she'd want to know. She laughed and said its not stealing just sweets. Surely going somewhere you are not allowed and removing something is stealing? Or AIBU? I'd be furious if it was mine! Fair enough a 2 year old but surely by 9 and 10 you should know what not to touch.

It's a slippery slope, OP. One minute it's sweets, the next they're doing the Great Train Robbery.

Lock em up as a precaution, I say.

I still reckon it was the op's ds what done it

Seriously? How do you cope in today's world when a couple of children taking sweets is looked upon so harshly?

And to the poster who uses 'victim blaming' like it is a throwaway term, you are an absolute idiot of the highest order, how disgusting of you to attach that term to something so trivial (Yes OP, trivial).

Taking something that’s isn’t yours is stealing. However low value the item. ......In a bowl on the side isn’t the same. Being in a bowl implies it’s being offered

This is the problem with this thread. People making arbitrary distinctions. Taking something that isn't yours is stealing, you say, but then immediately say it isn't though if its in bowl. And that the value makes no difference. So if my diamonds are in a bowl that wouldn't be stealing? no of course not! that makes no sense.

Most people on here aren't making sense. The repitition of its stealing, just read the definition, except this that and the other that also fit the definition isn't stealing. So stupid.

Low value items in a position that implies that they are for communal use, taken in clear view of the owner = not stealing (although it is manners to ask). High value items like diamonds = never for communal use, clearly stealing

Obviously. The actual point that you missed though is that sweets in a bowl = not stealing sweets in a box on a shelf= is stealing..that is arbitrary.

And the main point, which you also missed is that people keep saying taking without permission is stealing, and then saying it isn't depending on where they are!

You keep repeating your own notions of what is right and proper as if they should apply to everyone. That is incredibly arrogant of you.

What about on a low shelf in a non banned room - not out on display but also not obviously hidden away, can I eat those ?!

What about on a low shelf in a non banned room - not out on display but also not obviously hidden away, can I eat those ?!

It's not difficult, surely.

If you're not sure, ask. If it's not your house, ask. If they're not your things, ask.

How hard is it to teach your children that?

Not hard at all. But it's what I've done as an adult!

That is not an arbitrary distinction. It is based on social norms

YOUR NOTION of social norms. Not everyone elses. YOURS.

Are you actually that arrogant?

BTW, other peoples idea of social norms would say it is still stealing if you take it from a bowl in the kitchen. So they would be calling you a thief.
Still other social norms would say you are a terrible host for hiding sweets and not putting them out to share. By their social norms you would be worse than stealing children.

Are you getting any of this? Do we need pictures?

I'm not the thick one here, Hyacinth, you're not the boss of what is normally done. You can't see past the end of your own nose and have no concept of other people having different "norms" and ideas.
Isn't there a thread about a child eating a grape somewhere you could go and shreik about stealing on?

Isn't there a thread about a child eating a grape somewhere you could go and shreik about stealing on?

You needn't look further than this very thread!

OP I too would be furious if my own children took so much as a grape from someone's house without asking - beyond rude!

On Mumsnet, morality is equated with the rigidity of your views on rule-following. I think because half of the posters on here got their entire ethical education from Brown Owl at the Girl Guides.

A minor lapse of manners perhaps, but stealing?? No certainly not.
The legal definition of theft, actually requires the 'dishonest' appropriation of property, such that if someone, such as this 9 year old, thought it was ok to take a sweet, or were to assume you would give him the sweet if asked, then there is no inherent dishonesty whatsoever.
Were he however, to stage an armed robbery in order to acquire the sweet, now that's a different matter.
Honestly...some threads really do surprise me sometimes. Are there really such mean humbugs out there??...

Whoosh!

Thats the sound of the point flying over Pengs head yet again. Probably explains the dizziness.