To think this is stealing?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Dd1 (9) had two siblings for a play date yesterday (9 and 10). My only rule is that my bedroom is out of bounds. I asked dd1 to fetch me my sewing kit from my room - what i later found out is one or both of the siblings followed her in and ate some of my sweets. Dd1 is autistic so cannot easily lie and rarely breaks rules so i believe her when she said she didn't touch anything.

I spoke to the other mum this morning and said i wasn't sure which of her kids had stolen but i thought she'd want to know. She laughed and said its not stealing just sweets. Surely going somewhere you are not allowed and removing something is stealing? Or AIBU? I'd be furious if it was mine! Fair enough a 2 year old but surely by 9 and 10 you should know what not to touch.

Victim blaming!! Do you take this attitude with women wearing hot pants and crop tops? Oh seriously? I am against victim blaming, but to compare a few sweets being eaten to rapes/sexual assault? That's stretching things a bit a lot

The questioning of the OP keeping sweets in her room is so annoying! What if she's diabetic? Also just cos she's got sweets in her room doesn't mean she doesn't have any anywhere else. FGS.

OP left ages ago but I'm still reading...God mumsnet is addictive!!

Blimey, the amount of people that would get their arse in their hands over a visiting kid eating a few sweets they hadn’t asked for, would tell off the kids or tell the parents, it’s just so utterly toe curlingly cringe worthy.

Yep I'm with bluntness on this one. Who gets angry over a few sweets being taken? Playdates in my house are all over the house, including 'rooting around in the bedroom'. But then I don't have displays of sweet products in my room so not sure how much rooting around actually goes on in there.

Yes I know - I am taking exception to houses like that! Rules rules rules. It reminds me of visiting the inlaws and they are very controlling and uptight which I don't think is a great way to be. Getting upset over a couple of kids sneaking into an out of bounds room and 'stealing' sweets just isn't something to get worked up about.

I'm not the one using phrases like 'unbelievably rude'!

Why is it an embarrassment to mention it to their Mum?

Because it's awkward to tell someone that their child has been badly behaved, ergo, best reserved for major infractions e.g. I'm sorry to say that Sam hit Harry during their playdate? I would have assumed that most parents avoid this kind of discussion like the plague - live and learn.

'I'm not sure which one of your children stole from me, but I thought you'd want to know' is absurdly inflammatory and aggressive, how could you ever expect something good to come of such a comment?

If it's something minor (and honestly, I can't believe that this constitutes minor) why not just tell the child directly? I bark out orders and reprimands to any children at my house as freely as I do my own. In this case, the OP could have told them the next time they're over (although they're probably banned for life).

and honestly, I can't believe that this constitutes minor

and honestly, I can't believe that this constitutes anything but minor

Blimey - not have them back again - that's a bit harsh!

No indeed!

You don’t know that the other mum didn’t tell her kids off. She probably laughed because she was caught off guard or thought OP was treating such a minor infraction so seriously and with a degree of pomposity.

What about rooting around in your bedroom without permission before they even knew there were any sweets there? Who would have done that as a kid? Unbelievably rude!

There is no evidence that they rooted around; the room wasn’t ransacked. It sounds like they weren’t gone long and knew exactly where to find the sweets. We don’t know exactly what the sealed container looked like but if it was a plain plastic box someone must have let them know the sweets were in there.

Of course it's rude to go into an adult's bedroom unbidden. But what was the OP was expecting when she sent her daughter off to fetch her sewing kit in her bedroom?

I would have thought, oh, all the kids are going to wind up in my bedroom, I better get it myself (If I were a private person about my bedroom).

I agree with Cecily, the laughter was nervous.

I don’t really get that she was as rude as the kids from what was in the OP. There is no more detail than, “She laughed and said its not stealing just sweets”. Nothing of what happened next. Like ourselves, she probably didn’t know whether it was a couple of jelly babies, or whether it was from the box where OP keeps her stash of Mars Bars and Crunchies. So possibly thought the former and laughed at OP’s seriousness.

Some people get embarrassed far too easily.