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Original poster

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
CatsCatsCats11 · 19/10/2017 07:54

Blatantly place marking to find out what happens later .... good luck op!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 19/10/2017 07:54

I agree in that saying miscommunication might not be the best thing. But it's done.

Maybe follow up the email with a phone call this morning to make the points clear. i would ring anyway as you never know when emails will be read...and she'll be doing drop off

Are friend 2 and 3 likely to 'spread' the news? I'm trying to politely ask if you think they'll tell people/friends/everyone. As you may find that could work in your favour!!

magoria · 19/10/2017 07:54

When CFF comes back make a point that it is NOT £45 for you.

She is trying to get you to give away time and goods for this value that you can then not sell to a paying customer so you would lose nearly double due to her cheek.

This is all on her. Do not be made to feel bad at all.

guestofclanmackenzie · 19/10/2017 07:54

I also think you have been more than reasonable/generous considering she's..

Gone behind your back and offered to donate a service in your salon that's worth a considerable amount... And having worked in a hair salon, I know that hairdressers make the most profit from colours so she's essentially put your business out of pocket.. During an upcoming busy season.

Took the credit for it (put it forward as HER donation/ contribution)
For a school's Christmas fair event for a school that you have absolutely no connections with
THEN when questioned about it, blatantly ignored your attempts to make contact to explain herself/rectify it.
THEN when she did make contact, sent you an abrupt, arsey text!

I'm amazed you have told the head of the PTA that there's been a miscommunication as this implies that you could have made a mistake and been at fault!

I personally would have not used the words miscommunication and I also wouldn't have offered ANY service at all. But you have sent that to the PTA so all you must do now is do not back down and make sure you go NC with Hairzilla. This friendship would be totally over for me. Let her continue to sweat!

icelollycraving · 19/10/2017 07:55

I bet she's getting that frantic anxious feeling. She is a bit dim frankly. If she can't see how you were fine to lose money but she couldn't afford to pay a third when the other two were prepared to save her skin, She won't do it again!!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 19/10/2017 07:56

Morning op!

Stay strong. Ignore her. What are friend 2 and 3 going to do though? Are they caving and want you to speak to her?!

guestofclanmackenzie · 19/10/2017 07:57

Just read your update after posting my last post.

I would definitely ring the head of the PTA this morning and get your version of events over to her in case she's missed your message.

If youre not Facebook friends depending on her privacy settings, she may not be able to see your message at all.

gingergenius · 19/10/2017 07:58

Just rtft and wanted to say hats off to you OP! Glad CFF is sweating!

Mulberry72 · 19/10/2017 07:58

She’s unbelievable!

Ignore her, keep her sweating!

FluffyWhiteTowels · 19/10/2017 07:59

She should be very [embarrassed] but it doesn't sound like she is. Well handled OP

Thirtyrock39 · 19/10/2017 08:04

In my PTA experience I don't think the school will be bothered about any of it they usually leave the PTA to sort everything out as much as they can . Initially when I read this thread I had a second of sympathy for f1 as I thought she may have suggested approaching you and got snowballed into it by a pushy PTA member but the fact that she has been so unapologetic and won't offer to chip in is terrible!! She ahould have from the word go asked if you wanted to offer a prize or fessed up and seen if there was a way she could negotiate with you (still cf but I guess as a business owning pal you would be an obvious person to approach ) but definitely stick to your guns after how she's behaved and think you're very good to offer anything now
Also I've never known anybody query who receives which prize after a raffle although I think technically they do a list somewhere but this wouldn't have to be publicised if there was concern about the change in prize (and shouldn't be if the PTAs fault)

zzzzz · 19/10/2017 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scootinFun · 19/10/2017 08:06

If the school is close I would drop a printout if the letter in. Head will be there now so give them a call.

Groovee · 19/10/2017 08:07

I’d leave her to stew and phone the school and leave your number for PTA chair to get in touch.

DressedCrab · 19/10/2017 08:08

She's such a CF that I bet she'll say you changed your mind rather than admit any fault in herself. All she had to do was offer to pay. Daft cow.

KitKat1985 · 19/10/2017 08:10

Oh she's definitely panicking now. This is simply glorious cheeky-fucker payback. [Sighs happily]

ReanimatedSGB · 19/10/2017 08:13

Yes - all she had to do was pay you for the prize, then everyone would have been happy.
If she's really skint, she could have apologised and paid you £5 a week or something.
The fact that she wouldn't even chip in £15 when your other two mates offered to do that shows that she doesn't actually value the friendship with any of you.

KatharinaRosalie · 19/10/2017 08:13

I simply cannot understand how her mind works. How is offering someone else's money her contribution? If you grab her wallet, without asking, pull a 50 out and put in in a charity box, does she think it's fair you claim that this was your donation?

guestofclanmackenzie · 19/10/2017 08:19

Totally invested in this thread!

Was going to suggest getting this thread deleted and set up a new one titled Hairzilla or something as a PP suggested.. As this is a fantastic DM story.

But after thinking about it, it would shame her even more if it did end up in the DM and it serves her right!

HashiAsLarry · 19/10/2017 08:20

Print out a copy of the emails and hand them into the school addressed to head of PTA and school. If head of PTA doesn't get fb message the hard copy will reach them that way. Unless they can give you a phone number to call directly too.

OliviaBenson · 19/10/2017 08:23

I'd reply simply to say it's none of her business how you have sorted it and tell her to stop harassing everyone.

I'd also let rip at her.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 19/10/2017 08:23

Ive gave F2&F3 the low down of what happened after they passed on the PTA ladys name. They cant believe it. Like we all think shes trying to save face but at my expense isnt fair.

What pull the thread and start another?

OP posts:
IsThisTheRealYou · 19/10/2017 08:23

I think posters are exaggerating the drama of this situation. CF Friend was stupid and offered a prize she shouldn't have. OP finds out and asks for prize to be withdraw. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Presumably CF friend will have to admit to PTA she made a mistake and.... that's all. No one is going to care one way or another. It's only a PTA fundraiser.

DartmoorDoughnut · 19/10/2017 08:29

Bless F1 is proper stupid isn’t she 😂

Oh to be a fly on the wall when finds out!

couchparsnip · 19/10/2017 08:29

Just read the whole thread instead of getting ready for work. Well done OP! She's taken advantage and good for you for not letting her.