How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

Oh good luck for when the school wakes up and reads the emails op!!!

Delicious!

Well done. I particularly like the psychology of “don’t worry” as that will be exactly what she will do. And rightly so.

A CF indeed.

Too
Late now but I’d be weak and honour it but say “to be redeemed in January” or something.

That’s nice of you Scrumptious - I’d take a photo of her dog and say it’s being auctioned for the charity.

Placemaking!

Stand firm today OP.

An up do is still generous. You are giving up your time. Well done. Hope it's not the end of a friendship.

The generous part of me wondered if she has backed herself into a corner she couldn’t get out of. Like, she offered it as a potential prize at the pta meeting to make herself look good, and then it all snowballed as a definite offer and she didn’t know how to get out if it.

But then I got to the bit where she is refusing to pay towards it and realised she’s just a bona fide cheeky fucker. What a bell.

Oh my goodness!
What a cheeky mare!
I organise our raffle and would never advertise a prize unless I was holding the voucher itself so she must have been really convincing that she could provide it!

Hope it's not the end of a friendship.

you think that anyone would want to be friends with someone who was prepared to treat them like this? I certainly wouldn't.

A bit of over enthusiasm and a bit of a mistake I might understand, but the way she has refused to engage, refused to even contribute to the cost of it and the brusque later text..? I don't think so.

Well handled, OP! Good work re messages, emails etc! Can’t wait to find out what the school/PTA have to say about this!

Well done for sticking to your guns kungfu and that txt was genius.

im not this confident normally

I hope that experience continues to inform your behaviour and you can take this new found confidence forward. A real win from CF's overreaching hereself. are you going to donate or not Pah!

Bless her. Hope she had a sleepless night. Thats what you get for cheeky fuckery.

Very nicely played KingFu, hope the PTA lady has read it and gets back to you this morning. Your other friends are lovely to have tried to help but my GOD F1 is a stupid, stubborn twunt.

I think you’ve resolved that in a very considered fair way

I think you were too soft. There wasn't a miscommunication, there was F1 wanting all the credit for this donation, whilst passing on all the costs to you!

It was kind of the other ladies to offer to put cash towards it. Don’t let them do that as they will already donate hours of their time running and organising school events.

Why can't you offer a cut and colour ?? It's a one off and as my sister is a hairdresser and owns her own salon I know that you make a good profit from doing a colour and cut !

Are you being intentionally dense or....?

Yeah, I don't think it should have been presented as a miscommunication either, tbh.

It either removes responsibility from both of you, or shares it amongst you both equally.

Another PTA person here

At first I thought something she'd suggested had been taken as confirmed, and it was a genuine error but F1s messages to you and other friends confirm otherwise!

It may be a couple of days before PTA chair comes back to you, so don't panic.

I'm not place marking to see reaction...noooooo.

Morning all!

F1 must have definitley been getting worked up. Woke up to a few texts of her and missed calls.
F2&F3 started a group chat and asked what had happened because F1 was contacting them asking do they know how ive sorted it and can they contact me because im ignoring her.
My husband was a bit this morning waking up because she also decided to send him a few texts being all nicr asking was he with me and can he get me to contact her.

Nothing of PTA lady. Doesnt show shes read it either.

CF/F1 only had herself to blame. Not sure what this means for your friendship, what did your other friends say?

Can believe that CF thinks it's ok for you to be out of pocket. It's not just £45, they are your out if pocket expenses. "Are you donating or not?" and ghosting would have finished it for me.