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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
KeepItAsItIs · 18/10/2017 22:34

You are very generous to offer anything. I wouldn't have been as accommodating but I guess you don't want your salon's reputation trashed. Tough if she looks bad in front of the pta, that's her doing not yours.

midnightmisssuki · 18/10/2017 22:34

well done op - can't believe your friend!

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 18/10/2017 22:35

She is an absolute cf!

Altho originally when I read your first post I had wondered whether it was just crossed wires...

Young enthusiastic new pta members says :oh my pal owns x salon I'll see if she can donate a cut... Another PTA member records this as 'X salon is donating...'. Although it seems your subsequent contacr is not the case!

My other idea is : mail F1... Let her be in no misapprehension you're anything other than thoroughly pissed off... Say
I understand via f3, you can't afford to pay... And you expect me to pay for your donation... To save your face, and any damage you may have caused to my business, I will donate a cut in the NY...
You will have to offer one of the following :

2 days cleaning the salon. Or 4 nights babysitting (at my desired dates). That way goes in some way to ameliorating the mess you have got into

SezziBaybee · 18/10/2017 22:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

2017SoFarSoGood · 18/10/2017 22:37

Great job KungFu - you're doing a masterful job living up to your username tonight Grin

CFF had better watch out; turns out you're not quite the pushover she thought. Good on you!.

justilou1 · 18/10/2017 22:37

I can't wait to hear her reaction when you do not fall into line and be "reasonable" as she expects!

ButterfliesandMoths · 18/10/2017 22:40

Cheeky fucker!

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 22:40

3 texts received of F1.

" youve sorted it? "
Didnt respond.

"How?"
Didnt respond.

"?????"
And didnt respond.

I think now is the perfect time for me to go asleep and let her thoughts run wild. Still no response of PTA lady though, hopefully she will respond tomorrow though.

OP posts:
ChuffMuffin · 18/10/2017 22:40

Just be prepared for the HT to try and put the pressure on you to still donate that gift, they won't want to have to reprint and redistribute the leaflets!

WishingOnABar · 18/10/2017 22:42

Well she was sure quick to respond to your messages when her own reputation was at risk wasn't she?

WitchDancer · 18/10/2017 22:44

I'm very pleased you've dealt with this in a manner fitting to a viper. I think you may have earned yourself a Mumsnet scarf!

AcrossthePond55 · 18/10/2017 22:44

Perfect! Since F1 didn't advise you of her contributions of your services, I see no reason to advise her of method of dealing with it!

Greyponcho · 18/10/2017 22:45

Good for you Kung!
If you get any backlash from her, just remember she’s embarrassed herself by acting so 1) stupidly to offer without checking
2) trying to bully/guilt you into doing it
3) acting like you’re the one being a tight arse when it would’ve cost her only £15 (and hopefully serious grovelling) to rectify.

Hope she gets her arse handed to her at the next PTA meeting for wasting their resources on false advertising

Groovee · 18/10/2017 22:45

I can’t get over your CFF doing this.

I’d leave her to stew until the PTA chair or school have been in touch x

dollieollie · 18/10/2017 22:45

Her head will have exploded by tomorrow! Stay strong op and continue to ignore... I bet she’s turning a new shade of puce Grin

DancesWithOtters · 18/10/2017 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinIsIn · 18/10/2017 22:47

Text her back telling her to keep her hair on..... Grin

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 18/10/2017 22:47

Yay! I love how she can suddenly respond to you when it might look like she's going to get dropped in it

Yes to deleting the thread and starting another tomorrow for updates.

Have a lovely restful sleep Flowers

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 18/10/2017 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 22:48

What Dances said. Just to be on the safe side, lazy shits on DF.

onceandneveragain · 18/10/2017 22:48

You won't be pulling out because you never put in! Dont be apologetic in any way towards the school or they will guilt trip you because this looks pretty bad on them if cf is the sort of person representing the the school. You need to tell the school - she should not be in the pta and trusted with what can be large amounts of money and confidential information, she clearly can't be trusted! They need to get rid of her now before she's been there years and become "indispensable"!

FrancisCrawford · 18/10/2017 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChickenMom · 18/10/2017 22:49

Well done on not responding. Let her stew. She's unbelievable. She surely must win the prize of crappiest friend ever! When I read she wouldn't stump up the £15 I nearly spat my tea out! How do people like that actually have any friends?? Please don't have anything else to do with her again after this. Her lack of respect for you is disgusting.

MadMags · 18/10/2017 22:50

Has PTA mum read the message?!

WishingOnABar · 18/10/2017 22:50

fenella
😂😂😂

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