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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
RainbowPastel · 18/10/2017 22:08

Does F1 realise what the word contribution means? She is definitely a first class CF that's for sure.

user1492958275 · 18/10/2017 22:09

GOOD ON YOU!!

Shit. Been reading this thread with my tongue hanging out I just can't believe it.

I'd be sending a swift reply to your 'friend' aswell saying how you feel she has really put your business and professionalism at risk and it's totally uncalled for, even in the name of charity / friendship - she should have asked and it's completely strange not to!

Your reply was fabulous.

Owning a salon is a great achievement but not always a giant money maker, you get to be your own boss but still you can't jet off on cruises every 6 months, some people just don't understand how every customer counts.

Stupid thing is if she had approached you and offered to pay half and explained the cause you probably wouldn't have blinked twice. It's the cheek I think.

Well done OP, you stood up for yourself. I've never been so proud of a stranger on the internet before. Grin

SisterMoonshine · 18/10/2017 22:09

Good. She shouldn't have been avoiding you.

LionsTeeth · 18/10/2017 22:09

What an absolute CF! —how awkward if F1 enters the raffle and wins—

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 18/10/2017 22:10

Me too whatsleep!

mikeyssister · 18/10/2017 22:10

Have you text CF1

Wreckingball25 · 18/10/2017 22:10

Ooh wonder if she’ll reply!!

sayyouwill · 18/10/2017 22:10

Wow

mikeyssister · 18/10/2017 22:11

Sorry Cross posted

li1972 · 18/10/2017 22:12

I offer a friends discount of approx 20%... Maybe tell her that you'd happily give her a friends discount off the voucher price? (Or would have if she'd bothered asking! 😒)

Namechangetempissue · 18/10/2017 22:13

She is going to think you have given in and gone along with her....Grin

IncieWincie · 18/10/2017 22:13

The daily Mail is going to love this.

ToadsforJustice · 18/10/2017 22:16

Well done OP.

KrytensNanobots · 18/10/2017 22:20

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Omigod. Grin (disclaimer - sorry, not a laughing matter at all, and I've not read all the replies.)
Your friend is what's technically known as a cheeky fucker!! Yes, it's for a good cause but you don't just randomly offer out someone's services for free without their say so!
That puts you in a hard place for a start.What if you can't afford to just give out freebies? You're hardly going to be able to comfortably be able to turn round and say to a good cause/charity "no, sorry, actually I can't!"
Oooh. I'd be raging on your behalf!

Brenna24 · 18/10/2017 22:20

Unbelievable. I love the 'sorted it' answer. Let her sweat about it.

UnicornSparkles1 · 18/10/2017 22:21

Daily Mail for sure!

Well done OP, proud of you! CFF (cheeky fucker friend) will be shitting her pants.

Fitzsimmons · 18/10/2017 22:23

Well done OP, she'll be squirming after that last message!

Bratsandtwats · 18/10/2017 22:23

Would love to be a fly on the wall when CF finds out what your message said Grin

LML83 · 18/10/2017 22:24

Good for you OP. Perfect response. A real friend would not have offered the prize without asking.

LittleLights · 18/10/2017 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1moreRep · 18/10/2017 22:25

place marking

Dysania · 18/10/2017 22:29

Can I go against the grain and add that your salon name on this flyer going out and the eventual draw will be cheap publicity for you?
I know you didn't agree but your name is out there now.
Also, taking it down might now be bad publicity??
It was unreasonable, but take advantage rage if it anyhow?

glitterbiscuits · 18/10/2017 22:31

You message was more restrained than mine have been @KungFuPandaWorksOut16

JaneEyre70 · 18/10/2017 22:32

Your other friends sound lovely, wanting to contribute themselves towards it and giving F1 a get out clause that would have left her smelling of roses - and she refused!!! She's no friend OP and well done for standing up to her nasty behaviour Flowers.

Therealslimshady1 · 18/10/2017 22:33

Get this thread pulled before it is plastered all over the DM/Mirror tomorrow!

There was a horrible upset with someone being outed and put in the Mirror earlier this week.

Anyway, you handled it well!