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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
HashiAsLarry · 18/10/2017 21:06

Definitely contact the head of the PTA though over fb they may not see the message, then email the same to the school.

How you word it depends on whether you want to offer a service or not to them. Though maybe just leave it open as they may cover the costs themselves.

Something like
Sorry to contact you but I've just been informed that a service at my salon has been advertised as a raffle prize. I have been led to believe this was offered by x, however I myself have not been approached and I'm afraid I cannot offer that service. Obviously this is not yours or the schools fault, but please can you rectify this.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 18/10/2017 21:06

Text the chair tonight and say you will be contacting the head tomorrow

She is unbelievable

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 21:06

I am the owner of xxx salon and have just found out that you have a voucher for a cc at my salon as one of your raffle prizes. I was not approached by anyone from school about this. Can you enlighten me as to how it happened?

Strokethefurrywall · 18/10/2017 21:07

My God this is amazing. What a fucker she is!!

Sell her down the road OP, you will feel so much better!

Blatherskite · 18/10/2017 21:08

F2 and 3 must agree she needs pulling up on this one if they're finding PTA details for you

TemptressofWaikiki · 18/10/2017 21:10

At this point, you should make it clear that F1 purposely tried to put you on the spot. Name and shame. She is trying to get kudos at the expense of others. Then sack her off.

wibblywobblywoo · 18/10/2017 21:10

Fuck that, im not being mrs nice now!

Well we did warn you OP!

She's a self entitled cow who obvs doesn't care about anybody else's time, money or ethics in the pursuit of her own agenda of self promotion - the very fact that she has been communicating with your other two friends and has even got them offering to contribute shows how manipulative she is - and even that contribution wasn't enough for her! I think you're well rid of her!

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 18/10/2017 21:11

A cut and colour for £30? Where is this hairdressers!

KatharinaRosalie · 18/10/2017 21:12

"Friend 1, you're right, it's for a good cause. I've just donated a Michelin star meal for 12, paid by you. I'm sure the school will be thrilled!'

cailisto · 18/10/2017 21:12

I’d contact both the PTA chair and the Head about this. It’s not in to offer your hairdressing services for free without bothering to ask first! I’m astounded at how cheeky she’s being! Is she always this entitled?

TwoDrifters · 18/10/2017 21:14

If you must reply, how about something vague such as: “Don’t worry about it, I’ve sorted it with the school and the PTA”.

She won’t know what that means and will worry about it all night. (I’m feeling vengeful).

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 18/10/2017 21:15

@TwoDrifters like this one!
"Don’t worry about it, I’ve sorted it with the school and the PTA”.

ArchchancellorsHat · 18/10/2017 21:17

I like hashi's suggestion.

But I think, unless you're friends with PTA lady, the message goes into a separate inbox so she probably won't see it. Email or text is your better bet - isn't there anything on the flyer?

ArchchancellorsHat · 18/10/2017 21:18

And yes to TwoDrifters!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 18/10/2017 21:18

Is there anything for contacts on the school website? Ours has links to the governors and PTA info

Tiredtomybones · 18/10/2017 21:20

Mention in your message that you are concerned about damage to the reputation of your business, given that you are completely innocent in this. The pta may, under the circumstances, pay for the voucher. I don't blame you for being livid.

Ontheboardwalk · 18/10/2017 21:21

What Willow said

MagentaRocks · 18/10/2017 21:21

Due to her subsequent reaction and not apologising I would say you are not donating and will be contacting the PTA to advise them why.

RavenLG · 18/10/2017 21:22

What an absolute cheeky fucker! The balls of some people.

I wouldn't facebook her, I'd email from your company email address (if you have one) and state you have seen the flyer and have not been approached to offer this service and won't be donating.

F1 needs a swift kick in the gooch!

Two Drifters YES!!

CoveredInFondant · 18/10/2017 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flisspaps · 18/10/2017 21:23

Send a message like Hashi and Willow have suggested, and do it before CF1 has a chance to invent —yet another— cock and bull story to her PTA friends about why you can’t/won’t do it.

BewareOfDragons · 18/10/2017 21:24

I can't believe that she thinks you're being unreasonable. Wow. Your friend is the epitome of a cheeky entitled fucker.

Absolutely alert the PTA and school.

Your other two friends are lovely for trying to pitch in to help solve the problem.

ItsNachoCheese · 18/10/2017 21:24

No way would i pay for it if i wasnt the one who had signed up for it

HotelEuphoria · 18/10/2017 21:25

OMG 😲 the CFs are at it again. Where do these people keep coming from? Hope you get her told OP, she is an outrageously entitled, tight, thieving, horrible madam!

dollieollie · 18/10/2017 21:25

Wow I can’t believe the gall of this woman. ‘Are you going to donate or not?’ I’d ignore the fuck out of that text. She’s not even willing to stump up the remaining £15 after f2 & 3 offered the rest and is calling you unreasonable!

I’d drop the bitch right in it fb the head of the PTA tonight telling them you’ve heard through other friends she donated the prize without asking you first and she has tonight confirmed this. Tell them as she is refusing to pay for the treatment and it is an expensive time of year you will unfortunately no be able to honour the prize she has fraudulently offered however will give blow dry/cut so as not to do the charity out of funds. I’d then text CF saying not to worry and that the head of the PTA was very understanding about the situation once you had chance to fully explain... make her sweat and show her for the twat she is!