How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

She's got some brass balls, say no.

F1 is a CF.
Don't contact the head as school generally don't have anything to do with pta events. Contact the pta directly and say you haven't been contacted to donate a prize so please remove your business from the list.
If you do want to donate then you get to decide what it is and how much.
Also, they pta also need something tangible like a voucher to present to the winner and seeing as there is nothing to give you won't be obliged to fulfill the prize. Be careful that CF F1 doesn't knock up a bogus voucher though!

Reply - Not unless you cover the cost of the prize YOU volunteered.

Reply "I would have happily donated a small prize if you had asked previously and I could have worked it into my budget but I just can't afford to donate a prize of a cut and colour, especially this close to xmas."

It is soooo cheeky but I just don't think she's thinking about the cost coming out of your pocket!

Her actions/attitude would make me more inclined to just ring the PTA and say 'no she's lied'. If she was remorseful then I'd consider coming up with the compromise option. But she isn't. She's a twat.

@KungFuPandaWorksOut16

Your friend is a cheeky fucker supreme!

My suggestion would be:

1. Tell F1 how upset you are and ask her if she understands how you feel.

1. If she apologised genuinely, tell her that cut and colour is too much and offer alternate treatment with specification that prize can only be resembled in certain dates/times. Eg after Xmas, midweek etc. Importantly notify the school of this change and conditions too.

1. If she doesn’t apologise tell her you won’t be donating and accept that she’s no friend at all.

She has a chance to make this right. If she doesn’t you need to see her for the CF she is and lose her.

Txt back
"I DIDN'T DONATE IT YOU DID SO ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR IT OR DO I TELL THE SCHOOL SOMEONE PUT IN A HOAX?"

x-post.

Reply with 'are you paying or not'?

*resembled should be redeemed

With that text I'd stuff all concerns about her and would be ringing the school tomorrow. She doesn't get it. It's time she did.

She really is a CF!

I think FenceSitter's suggestion of dating it after Christmas, Monday to Thursday only is a great one btw

What does your 'friend' do? Sign her up for a 1-1 Christmas wreath making tutorial (materials included) or a free 'Naked massage with Tina (includes a happy ending)' session. Sit back and enjoy that raffle tickets fly out!

Candlelight’s reply is spot on.

Reply - Not unless you cover the cost of the prize YOU volunteered.

I would still email the school etc and copy her in. She might just bury her head in the sand and then faff about saying it’s “a bit late now” etc.

Just say "donating to what sorry? As far as I am aware you wanted to make a contribution so put forward a cut and colour at my salon. Pop in with 45 pounds to cover the costs of your contribution and I will give you the gift voucher for your daughters school"

Don't back down. This is her problem and she needs to solve it, not you.

Wow.

I wouldn't reply to that. I'd let her stew. I'd email the head of the PTA and tell her you haven't ever been asked for this prize. I wouldn't copy her in, she can stew.

I really wouldn’t start pissing around with offering alternatives and weekdays etc. She needs to get out of this herself.

What a dickhead she is.

I'd text her back:

You never bothered to ask me to donate. And when I asked you to cover the cost of the voucher, you said you couldn't afford to because of Christmas. You also never bothered to think about the financial impact to MY Christmas - because you seem to think I should work for free so that you can show off to your new mates on the PTA. On that basis, what do you think I'm going to do?

Don't tell the PTA it was a hoax that lets her off the hook for something she has done deliberately.

Tell them she did it.

"If that's your idea of an apology, I'm phoning the school myself in the morning."

@KungFu Nip it in the bud and say no. Let gutless glory taker volunteer her services or her husband be it house cleaning, car wash, lawn mowing, DIY, etc. Why should you be the one out of pocket. You're running a business not a charity. I mean your mom already took advantage of your softness by making you do free haircuts for her friends.

You shouldn't let her get away with it especially being in a PTA. Who knows what else she thinks she can get away with. It's not a good start for her. The school won't think bad of you. I think they'll be shocked that someone did that in the first place. Who is she? Robin Crook? If I was in your position, I would explain the situation in full including the fact GGT volunteer your services without no knowledge. With all the text messages that you've got, she'll be the one end up being the bad guy if she tries to turn the table on you.

😮😮😮 cheeky fucker, and incredibly rude to boot. She’s not even apologetic. To be honest op I can understand you wanting to help and save face for her earlier but after that ignorant text personally I’d be telling her where to go

It also speaks volumes that she’s been talking to f2 & 3 but not you directly. You owe her nothing and the fact she’s not contacted you but is trying to find out through them what’s going on rather than having the balls to message you herself would leave me more inclined to show her for the fool she is. Sorry to say it op but she’s got no respect for you and is certainly no friend!

I am just a bit concerned that F1 might badmouth OP to the PTA/school by saying that she rescinded the offer.
OP you have to contact the PTA/school and put the truth to them before she starts covering her back putting the blame on you.