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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 18/10/2017 20:17

CFF pays for 50% of the cost of cut & colour

Yes this is the sort of thing that keeps cheeky fuckers coming back for more. No way should the OP pay 50% of something she didn't even donate!

AtHomeDadGlos · 18/10/2017 20:18

With any luck a bloke will win it and just bin it iff

AtHomeDadGlos · 18/10/2017 20:18

*off. ffs

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 20:19

The simple factbthat she wont even talk to yiu speaks volumes. She is hoping you will stop contacting her and just donate your time and money and she gets the credit as everyone on pta thinks she is paying for it.
Nice for her eh?

You are being takem for a mug. And you are probably not the first.

All those 'deals' she probably told the person asking first then informed whoever was doing it and they didnt pull her up on it which is how CFs get away with it.

You will be condoning her behaviour if you do not pull her up on this.

UnicornSparkles1 · 18/10/2017 20:23

Acrossthepond has nailed it.

That's some brass neck on F1!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 18/10/2017 20:23

Wow you're the OP whose mum used to get you to do all her mates hair for free before a night out, I remember reading your thread about that looking like this Shock

Nothing brings out cheeky fuckers more than having your own business/trade they can take advantage of. The best bit is that CFs really do think they're doing YOU a favour as well. Hmm

BellyBean · 18/10/2017 20:27

Ok I think the only option is she pays, at least materials and you offer it for quiet time of year.

Otherwise it will affect the reputation of your salon and the school.

RubyWinterstorm · 18/10/2017 20:27

you are too nice OP

F1 is a spineless coward, the sort of person I cannot stand, all about "impressing the PTA".

I guess it is kind of sad, and you may give in out of pity?

Hope you won't

Oh, and don't call the school. they have nothing to do with this, it is PTA territory.... (saying this as an old PTA hack, PTA is totally separate from the school).

FeeLock28 · 18/10/2017 20:29

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 - suggest you contact the school and say that this was 'volunteered' but without your consent. So that she doesn't look foolish (always a good word, I find!) early on in her PTA career, say you'll honour it - you can then say you will postpone it until the New Year because obviously, not having offered it yourself you have commitments with your loyal clients who can't be rescheduled.

This will make it clear that, (a) she has made a mistake and doesn't have the common sense to try to rectify it; (b) you will be seen as magnanimous in honouring something reasonably costly and given (a), no one is likely to complaint; and (c) you'll probably get some new clients into the bargain! They will replace your 'friend' nicely.

WeAreEternal · 18/10/2017 20:29

I would be calling the school, explaining what F1 had done but say that since it’s not the schools fault I’d be willing to offer a voucher for X service (a blow dry or up do maybe) as I wouldn’t want the school to suffer because of F1’s actions.

MyPuppyIsADick · 18/10/2017 20:29

Tell the school, offer an updo instead and charge her for that Grin

HolyShet · 18/10/2017 20:29

If you are really going to be soft on her (and if you are, lay it on thick)
Tell her you can only do a blow dry or up do before Xmas - and she will need to let the school know that so they can rectify their print asap.

£45 is just the cost to the OP the face value of this more, so OP is also writing off profit.

Can't believe she's got the nerve to say she can't afford it before Christmas and just not get it that you can't either. She must be bricking it though so surely she'll pay up.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 20:33

F1 has finally text me.

" will you be donating or not?"

Shock
OP posts:
TsunamiOfShit · 18/10/2017 20:34

Reply with just a:

no

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 20:34

I wont be responding back yet, because ill end up loosing my cool. Shes showing no remorse and somehow making out like im the bad one Sad

OP posts:
whatsleep · 18/10/2017 20:35

That will be a NOT!

Pearlsaringer · 18/10/2017 20:35
  1. Call the school, you have just heard about the flyer, so sorry looks like someone’s boobed. First you’ve heard about it, definitely not your salon, must be a different one, thought they would want to know so they could correct the next run of flyers.
  2. Text friend, I have contacted the school explaining your mistake. I am letting you know to spare you further embarrassment and to give you the chance to fix this and save face. Never put me in this position again.
pp2017 · 18/10/2017 20:35

I’m on a PTA, no way would I do that to a friend without asking!!

If this happened to us and the business contacted me to say it had been donated without their knowledge I would try to come to some agreement where the PTA committee pay you something back rather than have withdraw it/tell parents it wasn’t really donated.

It’s hard enough engaging parents to make donations/come to events without having to tell them that one of the PTA members is a total twat aswell 😳

KitKat1985 · 18/10/2017 20:35

Wow, she's a bloody cheeky mare. I think you need to tell her you will honour the 'prize' so as she's not embarrassed, but she needs to pay you in full for it, even if she has to spread payments over the next couple of months if she can't afford it all at once. Absolute piss take though that she can't afford to be £45 down before Christmas but doesn't seem bothered about you being down the same amount.

Leeds2 · 18/10/2017 20:35

I think the answer to that is "no".

inlectorecumbit · 18/10/2017 20:36

cheeky fucker...

one word

NOT

RestingBitchFaced · 18/10/2017 20:36

Cheeky fucker! You can't let her get away with this, outrageous!

Lj8893 · 18/10/2017 20:36

Oh my this is possibly the most cheeky fucker thread I've read!

InvisibleKittenAttack · 18/10/2017 20:37

don't reply. Now just go to the school and explain you've heard about it, but haven't agreed to offer any prize. Go with the "has there been a mix up about which salon is offering the prize? I haven't been asked, if there's not a different salon, do come back to me and I'll see what I can do." You look lovely, she doesn't get away with it.

She's expecting to be able 'manage' the fall out. Take it out of her hands and let her panic a bit.

friendlycat · 18/10/2017 20:37

To not damage your reputation I would do it but stipulate limited period and quiet times only. Word it to suit yourself. I would also reasonably ask the "friend" for her half contribution that she pays the equivalent cost of hairdressing supplies and you do your half of your time.
I agree it is bang out of order and you need to make that very clear to her but hold your head up high, rise above it and do not let this damage your reputation as things have a way of "whipping round" and you do not want a whole load of mis truths etc being spread about that could do damage to your reputation and business. This is from one business person to another. She was wrong without any doubt but protect yourself in this.