Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive

[QuestionableMouse]

They're a string of Halloween paper chains hanging on the outside of my bedroom door. She said they're offensive and she doesn't like them.

I really love Halloween and they make me smile when I come in. I have more hanging in my room too.

Who is being unreasonable?

I love Halloween and would feel sad if someone would be offended by my decs too. I know what you mean about it makes you smile it does me too. Reminds me of being a kid again and fooling around in a silly costume.
As for ur roommate I would speak to her and ask why she offended. Sharing rooms with different people with different beliefs, holidays etc shouldn’t be offending anyone. We share the world with people with different beliefs.

Night after night I used to be woken up by the sound of my uni neighbour and girlfriend in flagrante. Would it have occurred to me to say anything - goodness no.

How drippy to get worked up about bits of paper enough to complain..

The big wide world is surely going to come as a shock..

Your home, your taste - I am sure that you put up with lots of stuff from other house sharers that 'is not to your taste'! I'm with Hairspraybabe on this! Assert your personality, your residency - and if other people feel that a paper chain is'offensive' then you need to affirm that "Everyone's beliefs and choices have to be respected" and just leave it at that!!

We put some of our Halloween decs up yesterday. The kids had an INSET day, it kept them entertained on a wet day and it's something fun to look forward to in dark boring October. We don't read any sinister dark meaning in it, just a bit of fun and some sweets.
I don't think it's too early.

I must confess the whole "we don't celebrate Hallowe'en because we're Christians" thing rather shocked me when I first arrived in the UK. I'm from the US, where EVERYONE celebrates Hallowe'en and gets into the spirit, regardless of their religion. There are few people who can get more po-faced about their own religious observance than Americans, but this holiday has become, like Thanksgiving, completely divorced from its religious origins and therefore everyone can just have a good time.

On the other hand, I had always viewed the UK as intensely relaxed about religious observance (and I mean that approvingly!), so to see people in this country decline participation to the point of being offended just boggles the mind.

Sorry OP, I'm not sure I have any real advice about your situation - you are definitely not being unreasonable in having the decorations on your door, but as some wise posters have noted, you have to live with this person day in and day out. While she needs to acquire a thicker, more offence-proof skin, making it your job to give it to her could in the end make you more miserable than you would be if you just let it go and kept your personal decorating ideas confined to your room.

If you can't ask her calmly and rationally why the decorations offend her (and I can see why you couldn't/wouldn't), and be prepared to compromise on hearing why, then unless you want lots more door slamming you need to just get them out of her sight.

And YANBU for putting them up on the 18th.

The US actually stole Halloween from Scotland not England!

We don't want it back. It's much better with turnips.

It was brought here by the Irish and evolved from there not so much "stolen"

go and buy more of them and hang them everywhere. if she cant except it and move on god help her in the real world !

No it's not an offensive decoration.
I don't celebrate Halloween but I wouldn't give 2 s*s if I was sharing a flat with someone who does celebrate Halloween.
It's on OPs door..... It's only one string.

I would understand if OP decorated the whole place, but she didn't.
Just ignore the note and enjoy.
I don't see why it's wrong to decorate 2weeks before Halloween.
People like to decorate their house months before Christmas.........

Don’t worry, she just feels entitled to be offended. Find something really picky of hers to be ‘offended’ by.

Why is it always Christians who get the kick? I'm Christian and I think that they are cute. I have an entire Halloween village. DH just bought me a new "house" shaped like a witches hat with frogs...he didn't see the sign on the door declaring "old boyfriends"

I'm home for the next few days now so no chance to speak to her. If she hates those, she's really going to dislike the light up ghost I bought (which will be living on my windowsill!)

Being offended is not going to do her any real harm. Unfortunately in life (& communal living) we can't have things our own way all the time........
You're not doing anything wrong. She'll get over it, or not, and move on!

"Offensive" is a strong term for paper decs. I would definitely ask her why she finds them that way. If it is a religious thing, well I'm sorry but she has to accept that other people have different opinions to her. They are on your door, not hers.

Christmas is a hijacked Pagan festival and no one seems to bat an eyelid that Jesus was actually considered to be a summer baby?!

Abby please post a pic of Halloween village!!

I'm a bit surprised that anyone is offended by such low key decorations. I was expecting to see something either very graphic/gory or ridiculously huge!

OP, is it just two of you in the flat? Sorry if I've missed that, and how old is your flat mate?

I think you really need to find out why she finds them 'offensive'. Are they upsetting her for some reason, some people are scared of skulls etc, or is it just that she dislikes Halloween. I think there's a big difference between being upset and not liking something and "offended" could be either.

I've lived in a bunch of communal buildings and your room door is often seem as your front door so an extension of your space, so don't think it's totally unreasonable to put something on there.

Yep just the two of us. No idea how old she is sorry.

No idea? You can't tell if she's 18 or 50?

Well she's not 50. I'd guess she's in her early twenties.

On the other hand, I had always viewed the UK as intensely relaxed about religious observance (and I mean that approvingly!), so to see people in this country decline participation to the point of being offended just boggles the mind.

Let's call a spade a spade here. It was a form of institutionalised bigotry and a way to outlaw the traditions still practiced by the Irish and Scots. In the same way that our languages and many other cultural traditions were outlawed. But while it's hard to preserve a language in the face of it being made illegal, annual traditions are harder to get rid of and so they were declared completely ungodly and offensive. It was deliberate negative ethnocentrism using god as an excuse.

Anyone who is offended by Halloween needs to take a long hard look at themselves for what is nothing more than a disgust with roots in total bigotry and then make themselves get over it. You don't have to enjoy or celebrate the holiday but ask yourself if you'd refer to Diwali or Eid with the same disgust as you do the cultural traditions of your two neighbouring countries. It's actually a horrendous, bigotry fuelled stance.

craftsy I agree, but many people just aren't aware of the history to have that understanding. OP I'd think you need to have a real handle on her reasons before you say anything. Will you definitely not see her in person over weekend?

OP Just ask her to be quieter in the mornings.

Well, I find the way Halloween has taken off recently in the U.K. as a commercially driven festival incredibly annoying. The whole idea of Halloween decorations is just a way of extracting more money out of us. But finding them "offensive" for any other reason is a bit daft, frankly.

But if she is upset by them, I'd probably take them down.