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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive

430 replies

QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 13:57

They're a string of Halloween paper chains hanging on the outside of my bedroom door. She said they're offensive and she doesn't like them.

I really love Halloween and they make me smile when I come in. I have more hanging in my room too.

Who is being unreasonable?

Flatmate said my Halloween decorations are offensive
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Allergictoironing · 18/10/2017 14:22

I always find it amusing when Christians complain about the celebration of Halloween - the name itself is a shortening of All Hallows Eve, the night before All Saints Day, both are Christian dates.

I can understand maybe them being unhappy about some of the ways some people celebrate, but objecting to the festival itself is silly.

MrTrebus · 18/10/2017 14:24

What religion is she? Honestly sounds like it's time you got your own flat.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 18/10/2017 14:24

Does that mean kurri that you have disdain for those that put their Christmas (another one day event) decorations up on the 12th December? Hmm You’d better hide if so. Grin

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 18/10/2017 14:25

She didn't actually speak to me, I came back from lectures to find a note under my door. We don't tend to be in at the same time so it can be hard to communicate.

I don't want to upset her but at the same time it's a string of paper decorations that due to the layout of the flat, she won't actually see that much.

OP posts:
snowgirl1 · 18/10/2017 14:25

Saying she doesn't like them and finds them offensive is fine, but if she says she wants you to take them down she would be being U. Everyone has different beliefs - we all just have to rub along together, she isn't required to join in with Halloween.

zzzzz · 18/10/2017 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imaginosity · 18/10/2017 14:28

You both sound a bit unreasonable.

Merida83 · 18/10/2017 14:28

Oh for goodness sake! Its one harmless fun string of decorations on your door.
Its hardly the end of the world even if she doesn't like them. YANBU. leave them be and enjoy them!!

viques · 18/10/2017 14:28

Can't you put those (frankly pathetic! Sorry) decorations inside your room and put up a cute kitten *poster instead?

  • other cute pictures are available but for heavens sake not Garfield or anything inspirational .
MrsOverTheRoad · 18/10/2017 14:28

Just put them somewhere else in your room other than the door? It's not hard...they can make you even more happy then as you'll see them when you're IN your room and not just when you're entering.

Merida83 · 18/10/2017 14:30

And a reminder to others in here its OP's home too. Why should one resident's wishes trump another when its something so harmless!

Hissy · 18/10/2017 14:30

She didn't actually speak to me, I came back from lectures to find a note under my door.

WTF?

When you see her please tell her to sort her priorities out and notes under doors about decoration is unacceptable. What - out of interest - would this little flower do with herself if she had an actual real life problem?

luckylavender · 18/10/2017 14:30

Is it because it's only 18th October?!

MadForlt · 18/10/2017 14:31

Maybe get a big picture of a hindu god for your door instead?

woollyminded · 18/10/2017 14:31

If you don't catch her then turn the piece of paper over and write 'I don't know what you mean by 'offensive', please explain' and pop it back under her door. It's not OK to be Queen-Of-The-Flat and send out decrees. It's quite normal to brighten the place up with temporary decs for seasonal festivals, a pumpkin, a doily snowflake, a bunch of daffs or a birthday banner. These things are nice and do no harm at all.

TheFaerieQueene · 18/10/2017 14:32

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

Stephen Fry

Love him or hate him, he is right about this.

CruCru · 18/10/2017 14:32

I don't see anything wrong with the decorations - except that Hallow'een is over a week away. Isn't it too early?

Flippetydip · 18/10/2017 14:33

She's probably a Christian and feels the need to make that point blindingly obvious. I speak as one myself who was a royal pain in the arse about it when I was younger. I am still a Christian but like to think I'm more reasonable in my approach. I hate the way Halloween is celebrated so we chose not to celebrate in that way, but I don't foist my distaste on other people.

So you are both being unreasonable. Her for being a pious pain in the backside, you for having such horrible looking decorations.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 18/10/2017 14:33

Why don't some Christians like Halloween ? (I know its not all as I have a Christian background and my parents never objected).

I feel fairly ignorant as its not something I've ever considered.

Littlechocola · 18/10/2017 14:34

I’d find another home for them

pinkyredrose · 18/10/2017 14:34

What religion is she?

CrackedEgg · 18/10/2017 14:35

mmm....most religions preach about tolerance, live and let live and all that. Have a word with her and explain you would love to be able to keep them up and that you are sure she appreciates that as flatmates you both have to make compromises, and wouldn't it be a shame if you both lost the ability to compromise with each other. Suggest maybe you could take them down for now but put them back up a little bit closer to the 31st.

Also, they would probably look great hung up on your window :)

KurriKurri · 18/10/2017 14:35

No because Christmas covers a holiday season. And for many culture who live in this country Christmas celebrations are on different days. There is no holiday season associated with Halloween - it is one day, not nearly two weeks of celebrations, decorations etc.

I do think Christmas should be confined to Mid December (Quite a few of my friends celebrate St Lucia's Day Dec 13th and then various other dates leading up to Christmas/ Christmas Eve/ St Stephen's etc etc.) up to Twelfth Night.
I do cat's bum at massive light up reindeer appearing in June, and I defend my right to be uptight on this matter Grin

I'm not showing disdain for the decorations (unlike some who have questioned the OP's taste)just for the spreading out of a one day celebration (I'm not keen on hot cross buns any day except Goo Friday either Grin)

Believe me I'm all for decorations - tacky plastic or otherwise - but you've got to show restraint or the whole world is going to hell in hand basket. I would love to dress my dog in a pumpkin outfit whenever I felt like it, but I know and he knows it his halloween costume, not everyday wear. However cute he may look.

RhiannonOHara · 18/10/2017 14:35

Do you get on? Kind of sounds like you don't.

I'd try to ask her why, out of curiosity. But I wouldn't take them down.

echt · 18/10/2017 14:36
  1. Wait to see what the flatmate says.

THEN

  1. Tell her it's an expression of your beliefs. That the beliefs may be having a hoot at this time of year need not be explained.
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