To think there is a group on MN deliberately trying to downplay the institutional oppression of women?

[PerryPerryThePlatypus]

I've been hanging around these here parts since Pom Bears were just a bizarre crisp but more and more I see posters chipping away at other posters experiences, feelings of unease etc. It's difficult to articulate but it's just a shift from NAMALT to women are just as bad so stop complaining. An almost subtle silencing.

And the thread is derailed time and time again until it hits 1000. It's almost as if there's a group on MN deliberately trying to downplay the institutional oppression of women...........

Someone should start a thread about this, you know.

Bertrand and what's more they have to make sure they discuss matters including the sexual torture, murder, daily harrassment, physical abuse and financial exploitation of women without ever sounding in the teensiest bit cross lest others take umbrage at their tone

Well then you need to listen graded Bert.

Oh, and on the other thread there were responses to people saying that their husbands weren't like that telling them that actually they probably were and they just didn't know. hmm

Sadly sometimes it’s the truth, it was for my DM. But it’s not something to say if you don’t want threads derailed because it will wind the poster up and make them carry on defending their loved one.

I get what you’re saying. But there is the Stately Homes thread on the relationships thread. That doesn’t get derailed, because it doesn’t have an inflammatory title. Maybe something to consider?

Harder

"they have to make sure they discuss matters including the sexual torture, murder, daily harrassment, physical abuse and financial exploitation of women without ever sounding in the teensiest bit cross lest others take umbrage at their tone"

Nonsense

The Stately Homes thread doesn't challenge any institutionalised form of oppression

My comment about the people on the other threads being told their husbands were probably creeps but they didn't know it was in response to this:

"
I have never seen anyone respond to 'not all men are like that...my husband is lovely'

With

NO ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT AND YOUR HUNSBAND IS TOO"

bumbley - do you think male (ignoring female violence for the purposes of this conversation, which is not to say that it's in any way less serious) violence is a problem?

Do you think it's something that needs to be addressed?

Because I've responded to a lot of your points and I still can't decide if you are a) deliberately misunderstanding or b) you genuinely don't see it as an issue.

Why nonsense bumbley? Didn't I just paraphrase your remarks about inflammatory titles causing people to take umbrage?

No I don’t mean that, why not do a different thread about the oppression of women, with a less inflammatory title., and not on YABU? Might not get the same people NAMALTing.

I get what you’re saying. But there is the Stately Homes thread on the relationships thread. That doesn’t get derailed, because it doesn’t have an inflammatory title. Maybe something to consider?

It’s not the titles.

The Stately Homes thread doesn’t require anyone to accept that patriarchy exists and confront the sad reality of the facts regarding rape, abuse, harassment, coercion, exploitation.

Actually we could just use the term violence against women as a catch all. It is all violence after all.

I dont think the title is in the least bit inflammatory, I think it's a perfectly reasonable question actually. And from some of the answers at least it appears that OP has a very strong point.

"No I don’t mean that, why not do a different thread about the oppression of women, with a less inflammatory title., and not on YABU?"
What tucked away somewhere in a locked filing cabinet behind a door marked "Beware of the Leopard"?

*The Stately Homes thread doesn’t require anyone to accept that patriarchy exists and confront the sad reality of the facts regarding rape, abuse, harassment, coercion, exploitation.

Actually we could just use the term violence against women as a catch all. It is all violence after all.*

That’s a good title, I think.

I have been on many similar threads

And it doesn't matter what the title is

People NAMALT

And bumbley i was on that thread....not one person said ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT..some deffo did say that someone's husband maybe a creep and they didnt know it. But no one has said ALL

Look, you have it on YABU, then be prepared for the interruptions. They are allowed to say, yes YABU. That’s how it is.

Sorry, you can’t have it both ways.

And bumbley i was on that thread....not one person said ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT..some deffo did say that someone's husband maybe a creep and they didnt know it. But no one has said ALL

Ok whatever. But it was very inflammatory.

Mittens absolutely.

Why ask if it is unreasonable (thus inviting response) and then not expect an opposing view? And worse say it is unreasonable that one is given. That's not a debate it's a lecture.

To whoever said you 'will only listen to feminists if they refrain etc etc' is completely and utterly missing the point I was trying to make.

mittens

Yes thanks...i get that about an online forum

But the question was are some people doing it on purpose

And yes, they are

So the OP is not being unreasonable

People saying YABU on non-feminist threads typically respond to the argument in the OP ime.

They don't say: I refuse to discuss your AIBU because you have couched it in inflammatory terms, failed to explain your assumptions satisfactorily to a wider audience, and failed to specify exceptions to the kind of situation you are describing

I had a whole post written out but Genghis's is better. Exactly that.

but aren't you rather putting words into their mouths there Gengis? By saying NAMALT they are not necessarily saying anything more than stating a fact.

And of course if you post on AIBU, then you expect to be told you are. But as far as I can see, there has been very little discussion of the actual point in the thread title. But loads of the usual "if only feminists used different words ".....