...to think you can't just leave 11 people waiting while you nip next door to bf your baby?

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One of our neighbours is hosting a murder mystery for several couples in our cul de sac. One couple have a bf 6m baby. They have accepted neighbour's invitation and are having a grandma over to babysit. Neighbour is planning to wait for Gma's call and then she can just nip home to feed baby back to sleep if she wakes up and the murder mystery script can wait for 10 mins. Surely SWBU to expect the other 11 guests to just wait for her? V. unlikely she'll be only 10 mins. Host neighbour and I think she should decline invitation.

I think it really depends on the baby. I haven't breastfed myself, but have had many friends who have.

Friend A had a baby who at 6 months fed every 3 hours ish, and then would sleep in between.

Friend B had a baby who at 6 months would literally feed at once every half hour in the day/evening, often feeding constantly with about 10 mins gap at a time.

For friend A, going for a quick feed would be fine, for friend B, you just couldn't have any sort of meaningful murder mystery at all.

Honestly, I think either give a bottle, or have the baby at the house. I don't see what she's suggesting us very practical.

I also think it's unfair to expect everyone's evening to be impacted, delayed and possibly ruined, because of one person.

Thing is if the host doesn't want you to then you can't. Bet he already has a reserve list of people lining up to take part...

Anyone who thinks breastfeeding is a "faff" has never prepared a bottle of formula according to the instructions.

OP I don't see the problem.

I've been to a couple of these evenings and they have rounds. Between the rounds we stop for food/ drink refills / toilet / fags. That usually takes a good 20 minutes. If the break was during a round instead it really wouldn't matter, the whole thing is scripted anyway.

Aw - what a shame OP, they sound like right fuckers.
Don't doubt yourself - you've done nothing wrong IMO, but I'd wonder whether you want to spend an evening with them.
Does sound as if it might just be a couple of miserable gits though and everyone else will be fine.

Tell them to chew their pipe stems and mutter 'elementary' to each other while you pop home and feed your baby.

You're talking bollocks Toby.

Hahaha @uptheduffy its great fun in the middle of the night, tired and confused there's always the inevitable 'shit was the the 3rd or 4th scoop'
😂😂
Dont miss them days 😂

We stopped after every 'scene' for top-ups, nibbles, bit of a boogie or a chat, otherwise the story would have ended after an hour or so!

Why not just ask the host what they really think? Personally I think a murder mystery party, with the neighbours no less, sounds like absolute hell on Earth, and I would be delighted to have an excuse to decline the invitation.

Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing.

What a load of crap. Having done a bit of bottle feeding to begin with and then moving onto EBF, it's the furthest thing from faff.

As for the rest - I enjoyed a social life and it actually did wonders for my mental wellbeing (usual anxiety disappeared for the duration of BFing - not sure why - hormones possibly).

Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing.

Deliberately goady post but I'll bite.

As someone who combi-fed from 3 months, bottle feeding was WAY more faff. We exclusively formula fed from 6 months and I still feel sad about it to this day, I really loved breastfeeding. If we have another I would hope to be able to continue to do it as long as hypothetical DS/DD wanted to.

I assumed toby was being tongue in cheek.

This is one rare situation where I totally get why you posted as a reverse - you've certainly got people's honest opinions (including mine)! I'm sorry to hear the other neighbour has been unkind about letting you know their opinion but as I said in my earlier response I can understand why they might be irritated and realistically people will be sitting round waiting for you which will at the least take the edge of the evening. I'll probably get flamed for this but if you choose to exclusively breastfeed you need to accept that will mean you missing out on certain things. A normal dinner party would be fine but for this situation where your slipping off WILL affect others, I think you need to bow out graciously. And that's not me hating other women ffs, it's basic manners not to expect a group of people to sit around waiting for you!

Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing. I bet it doesn't make a jot of difference to the child's overall health and development. It's all down to the genes, and a good dose of luck.

Is this a joke?

God I hate other women lol.

Lol. You're sooooo cool and down with the menz.

OP I can't abide reverses but anyway, not sure it's helped really. Because you now know that some people would find it irritating and some wouldn't!

It would help though, if you clarified whether you'll be chained up in a dark room sobbing your lonely heart out if you don't get to go this one time, to this one dinner.

Kurrikurri 😂

OP they sound horrible! Fuck the lot of them. Your baby is more important. I'm still BF my nearly one year old DS and feed him to sleep too

OP it's not really on...it will mess up the atmosphere if the others all have to suddenly stop playing.

It's a fantasy type experience...fun and all that but you nipping off will spoil it.

Why couldn’t they just murder you shortly after arrival.Then you could go back, feed your baby and return to haunt them all when your done

Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing. I bet it doesn't make a jot of difference to the child's overall health and development.

So, "sounds like" and "I bet", which means you know fuck all about it, but think your opinion is as valid as those who have breastfed and have studied the effects of breastfeeding.

No, she should either not leave the house ever or just let the little bastard starve. But seriously, do you not have children or sonething?

Just go.
Baby may or may not wake up. You may or may not solve the murder before you need to breastfeed.
The other guests may or may not enjoy a few minutes just relaxing and chatting instead of a script.

It's my understanding that everyone has to reveal their part at some point? Is there a script?

I just think if you can't participate the way the host wants, then you sit it out.

It's hardly the end of the world is it?? I'm not getting the angst about OP going just because she's a poor, defenceless breast feeding mother!

This is the crap thing about breastfeeding. People genuinely can't understand why it would be disappointing to miss out on an entire evening for the sake of an event (the baby waking up) that might not even happen!
I don't get that many invites to things in the evening any more, and sitting inside all evening while the baby snoozes happily the entire time - that wound get me down.
But people really can't understand why it's a downer to have to leave events, or go and sit upstairs at a party on your own, or whatever. It sucks! It's lonely and no one would want to do it under normal circumstances.
Having said that, i would go to the party, and if my baby woke up I'd ask Grandma to bring her round and BF her discreetly in the room. From the sofa or whatever.

Ha! No. I do go out. Just not much. And rarely in the evening. And never within walking distance of my house.