...to think you can't just leave 11 people waiting while you nip next door to bf your baby?

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One of our neighbours is hosting a murder mystery for several couples in our cul de sac. One couple have a bf 6m baby. They have accepted neighbour's invitation and are having a grandma over to babysit. Neighbour is planning to wait for Gma's call and then she can just nip home to feed baby back to sleep if she wakes up and the murder mystery script can wait for 10 mins. Surely SWBU to expect the other 11 guests to just wait for her? V. unlikely she'll be only 10 mins. Host neighbour and I think she should decline invitation.

Murder mysteries don’t need to be carried out in real time.

You sound like Margot Leadbetter

Can't you all just be accomodating and friendly...? She's probably really looking forward to it. Baby might not even wake up, worst case scenario couldn't her husband fill in her lines if she is gone for longer.

Will no one think of the imaginary police, isn't their job hard enough ?????

I assume she's not actually expecting the baby to wake up. At 6 months both mine would go a good while from being put down. I don't remember ever feeding between 7 and when I went to bed. The rest of the night was another matter...

Hmmm I see what you mean. You should never help friends out for, say 10/15 minutes when they have a baby. Fuck 'em I say. A fake murder trumps all.

Can't her husband get her up to speed when she comes back after feeding the baby? Why does the world have to stop because someone's breastfeeding???

Calm down, folks.

It's not like they're looking to sacrifice the woman's baby. It's one fairly naff murder mystery night!

It's 10 minutes ffs. Get over yourself.

@llangennith

it's a murder mystery, not Twister. Why SHOULDNT they stop, for a friend, who has been invited, to feed her young baby? It is really a very minor inconvenience.

Now if it WERE Twister, the OP may have a point...

I assume she's not actually expecting the baby to wake up. At 6 months both mine would go a good while from being put down

Have you met any of my babies?!

I don’t think you’re being very fair. It’s a dinner party. Hopefully baby won’t wake up, but if he/she does and the mother has to leave, just take a break. Not ideal but better than excluding her entirely.

I also think it’s better if she just brings baby along, or gets grandmother to bring her round if she needs feeding.

"Can't her husband get her up to speed when she comes back after feeding the baby? Why does the world have to stop because someone's breastfeeding???"

The world doesn't have to stop. But a group of friends playing a game should.

By Murder Mystery you mean Car Keys In A Bowl and Jim In The Pampas Grass right?

I can see how the interruption would spoil the mood.

Unless you actually mean Murder Mystery in which case you are being ridiculous and oh so 1990s.

It's a 6m old baby who is probably being weaned already so not EBF anymore. But even if it were, I find it extremely hard to believe (as a mom of 3 who were BF until at least 10 months) that she never ever is out of reach of her baby when it needs a feed. ie when MIL babysits

I would guess she really needs this break if she is going to this effort, she probably hasn't had much chance to socialise as can't usually nip home. I would be supportive. Hopefully the baby won't wake up if they do it shouldn't be too much hassle.

God this is so deliciously posh. Round here it's likely to be real murders

Is this you op? Or your neighbour?

I think a short break is no real harm. The baby may not wake up at all anyway, and if it does, taking a 15 minute break will probably useful anyway for pee breaks/ fag breaks / drink top ups anyway. I think you're being a bit mean. She's probably desperate for a night out. I certainly was when I was breastfeeding a baby of that age.

One 10 minute interruption is neither here nor there but if it’s happening every 30 mins you’ll just need to tell the neighbour you’ll carry on without her and she’ll can pick it up when she comes back.
I’d give her the easiest part with the least interaction and wait and see, it might not even be a problem.

Urgh posted to soon!!
I meant to say if Gma babysits for the parents to go on a date night down the pub or restaurant, does she then drive home whenever DC wakes? Or has she heard of this newfangled thing called expressing breastmilk and feesing from a bottle. I understand not bottlefeeding breastmilk in the very early days, to avoid nipple confusion, but at 6 months feeding is well established and if baby is being weaned, it probably also needs some water from a bottle anyway.

Neighbour is being unreasonable, IF she is expecting you to wait for her.

This is pretty mean OP 👎 surely a 10 minute break isn’t the end of the world, if indeed the baby does wake. FWIW my baby feeds in 3 minutes so 10 minutes is definitely plausible.

As for bringing the baby, mine would definitely be awake the whole time. And taking her out in the cold for gran to bring her for feeds would wake her up.

I think it's a bit tight of people to resent her doing this in the situation you describe. It's not necessary to see it as a huge inconvenience. Of course it's up to the host, but this sort of resentment of people taking a few minutes to look after their children that makes British culture so family unfriendly.

So if the host thinks she should decline the invite, why invite her. Is she not allowed to be a bf mother AND have s night out? Is there no scope for being flexible and working around the needs of her hungry baby? I say lighten up, make a topical aside if the mum has to go feed her child and crack on with the game.

Not everyone responds to a breast pump so not everyone can actually express. And maybe she just doesn't want to give baby a bottle, And why should she for the sake of 10-15mins? Some breastfed babys also don't take to bottle very well either.

For the sake of 10-15 mins that may or may not happen, what's the harm?