...to think you can't just leave 11 people waiting while you nip next door to bf your baby?

[Yoplate]

One of our neighbours is hosting a murder mystery for several couples in our cul de sac. One couple have a bf 6m baby. They have accepted neighbour's invitation and are having a grandma over to babysit. Neighbour is planning to wait for Gma's call and then she can just nip home to feed baby back to sleep if she wakes up and the murder mystery script can wait for 10 mins. Surely SWBU to expect the other 11 guests to just wait for her? V. unlikely she'll be only 10 mins. Host neighbour and I think she should decline invitation.

Ffs it's not a "fantasy type experience". It is a murder mystery night over at no.17.

Yes to the PP who said the wake up and the nipping off is theoretical. Normally get the longest stretch of sleep from 7 until past midnight!

A six month old is likely a very quick feeder. My greedy guzzler (four months) generally takes under 10 mins for a night feed.

I do think though that it's a natural concequences of breastfeeding, without expressing, that you can't really go out in the way that you'd like. It means you can't be far from your child, which is your choice, but I think that means that you have to accept there will be additional limits on your social life for a while. Sometimes there are work arounds, but where it puts lots of people out, then I don't think it's fair.

**OP they sound horrible! Fuck the lot of them. Your baby is more important. I'm still BF my nearly one year old DS and feed him to sleep too

Wow, you sound incredibly self centred and entitled. Fair enough, feed your baby however you like whenever you like and of course the op's baby is the most important thing...TO HER. Not to her neighbour who has probably put a lot of effort into planning this for a whole group of people. Putting the baby first surely means she makes sacrifices that she needs to ie missing things where her going and then ducking out will quite possibly spoil the planned event for others. I can't stand the kind of entitled selfish parents who think their child's needs should be centre of everything - yes for parents but not for everyone else! The host has probably put a lot of effort into planning this and to 'fuck the lot of them' and do whatever suits you is downright rude.

Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing.
Maybe it's because your assumption about it being to their detriment (in any way) is completely wrong!
I loved every minute of breastfeeding, even when it wasn't going perfectly. I found bottles a real faff. It's all about what works for each mum.

Exactly **Blueskyrain. I completely agree.

Mmmmm I think it's a tricky one op. My honest opinion is that I personally wouldn't expect people to wait for me but equally I would take a break to accommodate my friends quite happily. I can see how the host might think that if you accept the invitation you should do it on the same basis as everyone else and I doubt very much it will only take 10 mins tbh. It all depends how close and friendly you are.

TSS Murser Mystery Evenings ARE fantasy type experiences. They're about playing a character and having an escape from life.

Not about stopping the fun and waiting for someone to get back from breastfeeding!

Couldn’t the feed coincide with a fag opportunity for the other participants?

I have been to a murfer mystery whilst exclusively bf. The hosts and other guests didnt even comment on the couple of times I nipped out to feed and it didn't at all spoil the flow of the evening, which I thoroughly enjoyed!
However, had they made it clear beforehand that interruptions would be a major problem I'd not go - mainly because who wants an evening in that sort of company!
Host your own rival event and only invite the nice neighbours

If she can't bring the baby with her, couldn't someone else take her role, in the event of this hypothetical situation of her being off feeding while having to say her bit of script occurs?
I went to one of these murder mysteries and as a couple of people had had to drop out last minute a few of us got 2 roles each. It was a laugh . It worked. Surely there is a workaround that doesn't involve her missing out by not coming or everyone else sitting around with cats bum faces waiting for her to get back from a feed?

Quite often in murder mysteries there are non essential characters where the person can still participate and have fun but won't spoil the plot if they disappear or can't make it. Ask the person who's hosting.
Alternatively could you and dh share a role?
Personally I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest by your plan (unless you disappeared for an hour or so several times!) but if people are objecting could this be a solution so that the evening runs smoothly?

(TSS Murser Mystery Evenings ARE fantasy type experiences. They're about playing a character and having an escape from life.*

Not about stopping the fun and waiting for someone to get back from breastfeeding!

If they have any brain cells and any empathy they could incorporate breastfeeding into the role, surely.
If it's for fun, people shouldn't take it too seriously. I'd worry about their motivations.

Honestly op you shouldn't go. I breastfed both my children so I get that it's hard to get out but when you go to these things there's a flow to them and set things happen at set times. You'll make the night even longer and it'll be awkward to stop. This would be fine to do at a normal dinner party but it's not on to do this in this situation as your impacting other people - I very much doubt you'll 'only' be 10 minutes.

Tobythecat. It's idiots like you saying ridiculous goady things like that that can put new mothers off Breastfeeding. Sorry if you had bad experiences, but don't project onto other new mothers.

Amtree. You sound incredibly self centred and selfish yourself. You sound the sort of person who would not give anyone's situation any consideration if it interferes in what you want to do.

**Teawithtoast of course I consider other people but in this situation it's potentially a while group of people that the op is expecting to stop the murder mystery and simply sit around and wait for her because she has chosen to be but can't accept that will impact her social life. I fail to see how that isn't pretty self centred and inconsiderate. People like you who wander through life with a 'fuck everyone else' attitude really shock me. Not how I was brought up or choose to live but I think we'll have to agree to disagree.

*bf not be

Oh for goodness sake, a murder mystery night is just a silly bit of fun to while away an autumn evening. It's not a fucking performance by a world-class opera singer or actor that can't be interrupted! Of course it's OK for someone to nip off and breastfeed for 10 minutes.

People on here are weird. To be honest, its a bit embarrassing that a bunch of adults are too busy playing in a fantasy world to recognise the claims of real life.

If your neighbour has been 'vicious' in their objections I'd be pulling out and telling all the other guests why. Whatever you think about the pause, there's no reason to be so rude about it.

Yoplate you need better friends my dear. Maybe they shouldn't invite anyone with children, in case the babysitter calls in the middle of the murder mystery with some inconvenience like illness

What happened to watching Crimewatch like everybody else? I don't know anyone who does this ever..that poor woman wanting to be social and feed her baby

When my youngest was 6 months I had a long planned meal out with friends in the diary. However, as it got closer to the night I realised it was too ambitious. He was waking often, refusing a bottle and had never successfully settled to sleep with DH. So when I said I couldn't make it they changed plans to come to mine for takeaway instead. I I guess that's the difference between friends and arsehole neighbours.