Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think you can't just leave 11 people waiting while you nip next door to bf your baby?

277 replies

Yoplate · 17/10/2017 19:06

One of our neighbours is hosting a murder mystery for several couples in our cul de sac. One couple have a bf 6m baby. They have accepted neighbour's invitation and are having a grandma over to babysit. Neighbour is planning to wait for Gma's call and then she can just nip home to feed baby back to sleep if she wakes up and the murder mystery script can wait for 10 mins. Surely SWBU to expect the other 11 guests to just wait for her? V. unlikely she'll be only 10 mins. Host neighbour and I think she should decline invitation.

OP posts:
MadMags · 17/10/2017 20:09

A "tiny amount of reasonableness"??

She should either accept the invitation to an event and attend just like everyone else, or decline because she can't take part in what she's been invited to.

It's very simple.

5rivers7hills · 17/10/2017 20:11

Can I come instead? I’ve always wanted to go to a murdered musty evening.

bottlesandcans · 17/10/2017 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 17/10/2017 20:13

She's asking her friends to pause a game for 10 minutes for her. And her friends seem unwilling to do it. Which is bizarre. well you say that, Bertrand, but you seem to be forgetting, one of them is a murderer. Smile

Floellabumbags · 17/10/2017 20:13

You're horrid

Get off the fence, tell us what you really think Wink

snowglobe67 · 17/10/2017 20:17

Confused can't see the issue, it'll all be fine on the night, either you'll eat drink and chat whilst she's gone or somebody can read in her part.
Do you think she shouldn't be going at all op?
Or do you think she should start her baby on bottles so that your murder mystery won't be inconvenienced? Curious!!

Floellabumbags · 17/10/2017 20:18

well you say that, Bertrand, but you seem to be forgetting, one of them is a murderer

I'm not casting asparagus but I know who my money is on.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 17/10/2017 20:21

There is no baby, it's a cunning ruse to get out of fucking tedious murder mystery palaver. Well done that woman.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2017 20:23

I'm not casting asparagus but I know who my money is on. Grin

I fucking love this thread. With it's imaginary police and all. Maybe the people here should host. At least it would be fun then.

Does no one get to pee or anything during one of these?

Ceto · 17/10/2017 20:23

I just can't see this taking 10 minutes. Say 5 minutes to get coat and walk to and from the house - no baby that I've ever dealt with feeds back to sleep in 5 minutes. In fact they seem to sense when you want them to hurry and take even longer. It makes much more sense for Grandma to bring the baby to her mother for feeding. She could perhaps be given a fairly sedentary part in the mystery?

chugging · 17/10/2017 20:25

I'm glad I'm not friends with you, OP.

What's wrong with having a break?

It's probably a nice opportunity for her to go out as it's not too far from her house.

I was stuck st home/close to home when my baby was younger as I couldn't express enough milk for her to have in a bottle after she was about 4 months. Apparently it's quite common, even if you're still EBF. So, I'd have had to do the same. Luckily my friends are pleasant people so didn't mind making allowances for me.

Justabadwife · 17/10/2017 20:25

I didn't think dinner parties and murder mysteries were a real thing.
I bet it's a takeaway and a game of cluedo!

Pasithea · 17/10/2017 20:26

She could put it up for adoption. Problem solved. Wine finished. Therefore I may be a bit U.

Uptheduffy · 17/10/2017 20:27

She can express and enjoy her night out without any interruptions whatsoever
Except when her breasts swell up like balloons as she's missed a feed and she's in the loo for ten minutes anyway trying to hand express.

MadMags · 17/10/2017 20:27

Why is it "woman going to this party and expecting it to pause whenever she needs it to" or "stuck at home wallowing in her loneliness".

I'm sure the woman manages to get out of her house, naff dinner party or not.

It's all so dramatic!

KurriKurri · 17/10/2017 20:28

Say 5 minutes to get coat and walk to and from the house

They live in a cul de sac - either 'cul de sac' is being used as a euphemism for M25 or it won't take her anywher near 5 mins to walk home (unless she's got the world's most complicated coat obviously)

Viviennemary · 17/10/2017 20:30

I agree it would be an inconvenience to other people and quite annoying. Can't they just express milk. What a todo some people make about bf.

Carriecakes80 · 17/10/2017 20:33

This is why I am mainly mates with blokes...women are miserable bitches that can't give a breastfeeding Mum the support she needs!!
while when I was bf'ing my latest on our Friday night Games night, my mates (all blokes!) all made sure I was comfortable, got me drinks, made sure I was warm, and then we carried on with our games night once the husband had put the baby back to bed!

God I hate other women lol.

Amatree · 17/10/2017 20:33

Op is getting a hard time here. Yes it's very much a first world problem but realistically she'll be gone for at least half an hour each time she needs to go and feed and what if she isn't able to come back. As I understand it she could be the murderer and one character can't just drop out without the whole mystery collapsing for the others. Whether it's your cup of tea or not the host has planned and put on the event and I don't think she or the op are unreasonable to be concerned it's going to be a bit of a waste of time/go completely wrong due to this. However, she has now been invited and accepted so I don't think you have much choice but to crack on and hope all goes to plan.

SandSnakeofDorne · 17/10/2017 20:36

Some people on MN really hate women, don't they? It's quite peculiar.

Tobythecat · 17/10/2017 20:37

Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing. I bet it doesn't make a jot of difference to the child's overall health and development. It's all down to the genes, and a good dose of luck.

OP I would just carry on; why should you be inconvenienced by another person's choices. You know it will take way more than 10 minutes and you will all be sitting there waiting for her for a good 45 minutes most likely.

Original poster
Yoplate · 17/10/2017 20:39

Thanks all. It's a reverse. I'm the one with the baby.

I really really want to go but other neighbour has been so vicious in telling me what he and host neighbour think that I'm really doubting myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yoplate · 17/10/2017 20:39

And LOL at being posh. Admittedly retro though.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 17/10/2017 20:40

"Breastfeeding sounds like such a faff. I don't get why women insist on it to the detriment of their emotional, mental, social and physical wellbeing."
Or, in this case, the very mild incanvenience of her "friends".....

Sweetpea55 · 17/10/2017 20:42

Carry on without her