...to think you can't just leave 11 people waiting while you nip next door to bf your baby?

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One of our neighbours is hosting a murder mystery for several couples in our cul de sac. One couple have a bf 6m baby. They have accepted neighbour's invitation and are having a grandma over to babysit. Neighbour is planning to wait for Gma's call and then she can just nip home to feed baby back to sleep if she wakes up and the murder mystery script can wait for 10 mins. Surely SWBU to expect the other 11 guests to just wait for her? V. unlikely she'll be only 10 mins. Host neighbour and I think she should decline invitation.

Is she not allowed to be a bf mother AND have s night out?

Yes she is. She can express and enjoy her night out without any interruptions whatsoever. She deserves it. Baby still gets breastmilk and Gma gets some quality time feeding baby. Or is it now only breastmilk if it is straight from the breast??

Life, a lot of babies won't accept a bottle!

Breastfeeding can be bloody claustrophobic sometimes. Let the mum have a break. The guests can all have a loo break or whatever.

liefievdM agree in theory but if the baby won’t take milk from a bottle it could be a problem.

The problem here is not whether or not she goes back to BF. The problem is whether or not she expects everyone to wait for her. While everyone assumes it may only take 10 minutes, it could very well easily be up to half an hour once she's answered Gma's questions, done the feed, etc.

If you can't all entertain yourselves for half an hour or so then you all sound like boring bastards! You're not actually solving a real murder. It's supposed to be fun for everyone. Just because she breastfeeds her baby shouldn't mean she can't have a bit of fun ffs.

LiefievdM, not all babies take a bottle.

The host sounds charming.

I don't even have children but I would invent one to escape one of these tedious affairs where everyone's shouting "just tell us who-bloody-dunnit!" by the time the pudding comes out.

Wow! Why invite her then?!

YABVVU.
Nigh-time is the hardest to leave a BF baby, as if they wake, often nothing else will settle them. I think it’s lovely there’s something she can attend, safe in the knowledge she’s just down the road. Shame host and you see it otherwise.
I’ve luckily have much more understand my friends and neighbours since having DC and BF!

Only neighbour will know how likely her baby is to wake up and need feeding. At that age mine were pretty reliable at sleeping until after midnight.

You and the host are fucking vvu. How rude.

Could they not all retire to the library with a glass of port and a couple of Bath Oliver biscuits and a chunk of stilton to review how the case is coming along thus far while the baby gets fed?

/--

YABVU and selfish. I'm shocked at how mean spirited your post is. Of course you can all wait 10 minutes.

Some of you are really determined to see this woman as a victim.

She's not being burned at the stake, people!

madmag we are talking murder mystery here. She might well be about to burned at the stake.

""Some of you are really determined to see this woman as a victim.

She's not being burned at the stake, people!"

No she isn't. She's asking her friends to pause a game for 10 minutes for her. And her friends seem unwilling to do it. Which is bizarre.

Some of you are really determined to see this woman as a victim

I don’t see her as a victim and am the first to say that if you have a bf baby, you need to accept that your social life might be affected. I don’t think people should be required to have a baby in attendance or to dance round a baby’s feeding schedule no matter the circumstances.

But this is a murder mystery dinner party, which might be held up for half an hour or so. It’s not a special occasion, and it can still happen by accommodating a short break if necessary. So I think to say she shouldn’t come in those circumstances is mean.

Personally, I think it's a but presumptuous to want the evening paused whenever and for however long she needs it!

Regardless of whether you think a murder mystery is a bit cringeworthy, that's what host has planned and if a guest can't take part without disrupting things, surely it's better to just decline the invitation?

Just basic manners!

Are you actually the mother OP?

Poor woman must be desperate for a night out to accept an invitation to a murder mystery night in the first place.

Wait.

Your neighbour is having other neighbours round to host a murder mystery?

Sorry i cant get my head round this part

I think everyone is being harsh on the op and host. The host invited the mother to an event. It will spoil the flow of the evening for everyone else. If it was just a typical dinner party without the game, then it wouldn’t matter if she nipped out for awhile. As that’s not what she’s been invited to, she should either decline or say she’ll come but not take part in the game. There’s nothing wrong with bf if that’s Your choice, but it’s rude to let it impact on other people. Especially as she’s decided everyone can wait for her, it’s not been offered by the host.

We all know it will be longer than 10 minutes when she nips out.

Could you not just all pretend you think she’s the murderer whilst she’s not there or something? It is pretend after all.

I can see your point, but I do think the host should have thought about how to host a guest with a bf baby.

But why turn down a nice invitation when with a tiny amount of reasonableness from host and other guests you could have a welcome night off.
If I was the host, and concerned that guests may get bored etc, I'd organise an optional 30 minute activity to tide them over till bf mum comes back.

it's a murder mystery, not Twister

You've sent me all Mutley😅

Well aren't you full of the milk of human kindness. It's a social activity, not brain surgery. You could all drink wine for half an hour then start up again. But you'd prefer that she stayed cooped up on her own at home. With friends like you...