...to think you can't just leave 11 people waiting while you nip next door to bf your baby?

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One of our neighbours is hosting a murder mystery for several couples in our cul de sac. One couple have a bf 6m baby. They have accepted neighbour's invitation and are having a grandma over to babysit. Neighbour is planning to wait for Gma's call and then she can just nip home to feed baby back to sleep if she wakes up and the murder mystery script can wait for 10 mins. Surely SWBU to expect the other 11 guests to just wait for her? V. unlikely she'll be only 10 mins. Host neighbour and I think she should decline invitation.

@McTufty
Ah I see thank you! Possibly do it to get an honest perpesctive from people without being swayed.

YANBU although I feel a bit sorry for the mum. However, part of having a baby is, well, having the baby.

And although I completely see that it is nice for a mum to have the flexibility to go out to grown up evenings and to be able to feed at the same time, this the host's night not the mum's. There are some evening where that wouldn't be a problem and some where it might be a problem, say in the middle of a game.

'Nip home' can either be ten minutes or could be longer and it is at the baby's timing not the game's. I don't really see why the host is obliged to pause for that.

INXS Tue 17-Oct-17 21:31:33
That is the crap thing about breastfeeding . . . . It sucks!

Hi OP. I'd express a bottle or two and have a nice evening. If the host neighbour has invited you and not directly said anything, I'd ignore the selfish nobhead who has the issue! Hope it goes well

Can't understand why host is being criticised. Would the bf guest ask a star at a concert, a speaker at an event, a band to stop performing until she returned and more importantly would they comply? Think not. Why can the nd mother not express some milk and leave for Grandmother as it seems to be a "just in case" situation.

Wouldn't really agree with the people asking could she not bring her baby to a party, a party such as that isn't suitable for a young baby/child. To be honest you should accommodate her, as above use it as a break for drinks and the like. She was invited too! As for uninviting, that would be beyond horrendous, as I always ask my kids 'how would you like someone to do that to you?'

Does she use a bottle as well as well as boob. I used to use breast feed and bottle feed breast milk, was more convenient if me and husband went out for a meal. She could use a pump.

Can't remember how long u can keep in fridge been a while

Yabu. To accept she just really want/need a night out. Put yourself in her shoes. What difference will a ten min break make.

I wouldn't be going, OP. They're not your friends. There is no way in a million YEARS that I would begrudge any friend of mine needing a break to breastfeed their baby. Or any stranger, for that matter.

Some people are just miserable, and it seeps over into every part of their lives.

Would the bf guest ask a star at a concert, a speaker at an event, a band to stop performing until she returned and more importantly would they comply?

Oh god.

Put yourself in her shoes.

Why don't you do that, OP? Try it for once.

Completely unreasonable... what was the point of inviting someone and expecting them to decline??? I hope she finds out how boring you two are, that you cant even talk to another 9 people in the interim. Also, has she got a chef and waiting team on hand to prevent any time slippages in story or that aspect is ok?

Right op I think they are being completely unreasonable imho! I actually don’t get the issue. It’ll be a toilet and drinks break. I certainly would never isolate anybody for this and I think they sound horrible

😂😂😂

Put yourself in her shoes

Ffs!

SHE CANCELLED THE CHEQUE!!!!

She should just give the baby up for adoption she obviously hasn't put enough thought into how much this was going to affect your social life.

I haven’t had a chance to read all the replies but know it is a reverse.

I imagine this will be unpopular but we had a murder mystery party once and one guest was a breastfeeding mother. It did not work well.

She would not feed in the same room as anyone else and the baby needed feeding for most of the evening. It did make the whole evening very stilted as people had to wait until an appropriate gap in the feeding, knock on the bedroom door or call a couple of questions through which were not welcomed by the mum in question.
Considering the number of ‘rounds’ in a murder mystery it was awkward.

She turned out to be the murderer!

If I were you OP I think it’s fair to go but unless you know you really are likely to be able to participate then I would decline to take a role.

YABU. Wow, you sound lovely! So for the sake of 10 minutes of feeding after a baby, they shouldn't have an evening out? It's hardly unreasonable. You can have toilet breaks, top up your drinks and snacks, chat...

embo, try reading the OP's posts?

Just ensure the breast feeding mum is the murder victim then she can leave without it interupting the proceedings

So glad gluteus also made the point - what if one of the guests just went for a really long poo??