To struggle with #metoo

[BookyBook]

Is anyone else struggling with this?

I can't even articulate why and why I am so reluctant to post #metoo myself, although don't want to not either. My FB thread is full of it and I didn't realise it was a thing to do until yesterday and it has completely blindsided me.

Having said that I think it makes a very strong point, I just feel a little teary about seeing all the #metoos today in a way that is making me relive my own experiences that I have trained myself not to think about too much usually.

Is anyone else the same?

Queen it wasntvyour fault at all.

It took me many years to realise it. It was only when I opened up to my now DH about it that I realised.

I think #MeToo is good if you're willing to open yourself up to it. I'm not. 3 incidences stand out, 2 I've dealt with. The one I haven't, I don't want to talk about and it would be my word against his. I can't face opening that up.

I'm terribly sorry to mention the Daily Fail, but there's an article today by Sarah Vine on this subject. Don't read it if you're feeling triggered by any of this.

I want to be clear that I completely disagree with it. It's all part of the debate though...and the problem.

Wolf: I don't want to 'like' metoo posts, I don't like them, I hate them, I think the women who post are brave. Posting, reading and talking about them has made me remember more.. silent solidarity with your horrible experience. I know how these things completely overshadow and change our entire perspective on the world, a world which then expects victims to get over it and move on.

I too realise I am not ‘liking’ the posts either but I see them and remember them more vividly than other posts

I "love" the posts - as in sending love to the woman posting them.

Queen It wasn’t your fault.* And not wanting to talk about it is normal, understandable and entirely your choice.* I think this hashtag has had the opposite effect on me and helped me talk about something I hadn’t properly processed. Like you I believed it was my fault because I was drunk but it wasn’t my fault.

TRIGGER WARNING. FOLLOWING DESCRIBES ASSAULT.

I was assaulted by a complete stranger in central London.**

I was drunk.**

A man that I was in unrequited love with was moving away and I was too shy to tell him how I felt about him.* I was in my 20s. At his leaving do I drank too much and was too disorientated to get myself home safely but didn’t realise that. I wandered off to try to walk home and set off North when I lived South.*

I was on the phone to my sister - completely lost, completely disorientated, very inebriated when a man started talking to me.** I then don’t remember what happened next but had many missed calls from her on my phone. She was worried.

Next thing I remember, I ‘came to’ in an alleyway with my shirt completely unbuttoned and his hand in my pants.**

I managed to get away and get home and went to work the next morning still intoxicated.

I blamed myself for that for years - I was foolish - but I was young, heartbroken and didn’t deserve what happened to me to happen.

This #metoo campaign is helping me to process but understand that if this was more recent I would find it harder like others are saying.**

Bugger. Massive Bold fail. Trigger warning was in bold - not the rest - on the preview.

Sorry.

Thank you, all. It feels good to be heard, even when I'm saying little.

Love to all of you who have said "me too" on social, or have said "me too" in your hearts.

The ubiquity of this experience amongst women doesn't surprise me, and that is horrifying in itself.

tygr - How awful for you.

I do think we are educated/indoctrinated into the idea that if something bad happens, it is our fault, and even that making a fuss about it at the time is a socially disruptive thing to do. Those ideas go down to a deep level, too! I'm so glad you've realised that you didn't deserve or ask for that appalling and terrifying assault.

This article is interesting..

www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-cope-when-sexual-assault-dominates-the-news_us_59e4ec1de4b02e99c58358b9

'Know when to unplug'. Tricky.

I posted #metoo, but no details (it's not something I've ever talked to anyone about). But I did hesitate, because of the shame it made me feel, especially when I thought of the family and friends who would see it (particularly my mum). And then that's what convinced me to do it - because why should I feel shame about something someone else did to me, that I couldn't control? I haven't enjoyed thinking about the event again after all these years, but I feel strengthened by the number of women who are stepping forward.