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AIBU?

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Original poster

My granddaughter is beautiful, and . . . .?

261 replies

OfCourseEveWasFramed · 16/10/2017 19:33

She's 10, year 6 and people actually stop us in the street to tell her she's beautiful. This has been going on for her lifetime. She says thank you.
She says, 'thanks, I'm also really smart and I'm a good climber'.
Her looks are the only thing that strangers comment on.
Thankfully, she's level headed. Her class had a one-off lesson on how the media treats girls and women, and she had a lot to say about it - so did her friends.
A girl's looks are not the most important thing about her. We all know this, except random strangers don't seem to have got the message.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Coconutspongexo · 17/10/2017 07:00

We had this post last month except it was the mother posting.

Myheartbelongsto · 17/10/2017 07:13

I'm quite attractive and its done me no harm whatsoever!

Makes life easier.

MrsJamin · 17/10/2017 07:17

This is good article about this, as much as you'd love to compliment a girl on how she looks, talk about what she likes to read first.

Melony6 · 17/10/2017 07:38

I made the comment about cropping hair.
If you are in the street there needs to be something to attract attention to make you stand out in the crowd in the first class, sometimes from a distance. And it often could be tumbling tresses, which is the fashion nowadays. No tresses and you might not be noticed in the first place so would be less likely to get the comments.
The cropped ladies above have a load of make up on. If they were getting unwanted comments then they'd could avoid the make up.
I think my point stands. That if the flattery is a problem for you you can do something about it.

StrangeLookingParasite · 17/10/2017 07:49

'There's only one most beautiful child in the world and every mother's got it'.

That person obviously never met my mother when she was alive. She would have spontaneously combusted before she said anything nice about me or my sisters.

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 09:03

Its also OK to feel 'meh' about how others look. Doesn't concern me in the slightest.

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 09:05

Oh and how creepy is it to go up to a person you don't know go tell them they're beautiful?

bettytaghetti · 17/10/2017 09:11

@NotTheDuchessofCambridge, I thought so too. Sure there was a very similar thread a couple of months ago. Presumably the OP didn't get the right answers then Hmm

paranoidpammywhammy2 · 17/10/2017 10:26

Letitsnowrainhail
Oh and how creepy is it to go up to a person you don't know go tell them they're beautiful?

That's exactly how I feel about the people approaching my daughter with personal comments. My daughter is shy; she doesn't like strangers. It makes her look very nervous and embarrassed when strangers start making a fuss of her. She's been given sweets, money and teddies by strangers. It's rude and intrusive.

It is mainly women that do it. It is the men doing it that creep me out the most though. We've had comments about how she'll have all the boys after her in a few years, etc. I know it sounds a bit paranoid but I am scared that I will fail to protect her against perverts.

yoyoyoyoyo · 17/10/2017 14:26

People used to do this to my eldest daughter all the time. It was very tedious and a depressing reminder about the superficiality of society.
I taught her to respond appropriately with a curt “Fuck off you shallow cunt”

Don’t worry OP. No one stays pretty forever.

DaisyBD · 17/10/2017 14:40

Dd2 has the most glorious curls, so much so we couldn't walk down the street without everyone commenting on them

DS2 has gorgeous thick spirally curls and when he was a toddler I let his hair grow long as I loved it so much. My aunt told me I should get his hair cut or he would attract paedophiles Shock

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/10/2017 14:40

People tell me my 2 year old child is a pretty girl or occasionally, a beautiful boy. I take from this I birthed an attractive, gender ambiguous child. Wink

Aridane · 17/10/2017 14:44

I don't think it's 'super gross' to compliment a child's beauty. But I do find it embarrassing child responds by indicating how smart she is and good at climbing

Theresamayscough · 17/10/2017 14:48

She’s going to get a huge shock if she keeps praising herself to like that about climbing etc.

Don’t do this to her op. Being a bloody big hesd won’t go down well for her at high school. Teach her humility and to accept compliments gracefully.

charmedrose · 17/10/2017 15:18

How tiresome it must be to be constantly told you're beautiful. Must make one yearn to be plain. Hmm

Coconutspongexo · 17/10/2017 15:28

Love it when people fall over themselves to tell people online that they're attractive.

Theresamayscough · 17/10/2017 15:30

IS there Sam Brick as a child I wonder?

taratill · 17/10/2017 15:35

lol this reminds me of when I was on honeymoon with DH in Ho Chi Minh City and I kept getting approached by ladies who said:

'lady you have very handsome husband'. Probably on account of his blue eyes!

I had to remind my DH to throw himself back down to earth. In the UK he is very ordinary.

OP I'm glad your granddaughter is beautiful. I wouldn't be concerned about comments from strangers but if people she knows fail to look deeper then I would be worried.

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 15:46

It isn't a given that as a good looking person you have it easier.
There are plenty of spiteful people about, and being nasty just because you happen to look a certain way.
I made my living from my looks as did my husband. People don't warm to us anymore than to anyone else.
Our children are good looking too - they don't have an easier ride. In fact my daughter is now suffering some of the sane shit l has to contend with as a younger female.
Purely out of jealousy.
Of course, my looks have been an advantage- l'm lucky to still be complimented these days mid 40's but l still remember the bitchy days too well.

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:00

In fact my daughter is now suffering some of the sane shit l has to contend with as a younger female. Purely out of jealousy

What exactly is going on?

Could be something else besides looks. I dont know what would count as good looking but as a parent you obviously think your child is good looking.

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 16:03

Nothing else.
No, same old exclusion crap.
I had it. My Mum did. My sister.
We are all considered 'beautiful'
It isn't always lovely...
If you haven't been blessed with good looks you may imagine life is one big fluffy cloud! Grin
Of course, as an older child/ woman l can't say it hasn't been useful... however, as l said before ... everything in life can come with challenges!

Grumpyteens · 17/10/2017 16:05

Is that really a photo of Sam Brick? The most beautiful woman on the planet? Shock

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:07

What is 'good looks' though?

Is this from a European perspective?

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 16:12

The type of 'good looks' that enable you to earn your living from being 'beautiful' and photogenic.
The type of good looks that still get you compliments in your mid 40's.
The type of good looks that keep you looking much younger than your birth certificate! Grin
I'm not making it up.
My defensiveness is now rearing its ugly head.
Cheers!

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:13

So good looks are constructed by society there's no natural universal set of looks?

OK, cool.