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AIBU?

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Original poster

My granddaughter is beautiful, and . . . .?

261 replies

OfCourseEveWasFramed · 16/10/2017 19:33

She's 10, year 6 and people actually stop us in the street to tell her she's beautiful. This has been going on for her lifetime. She says thank you.
She says, 'thanks, I'm also really smart and I'm a good climber'.
Her looks are the only thing that strangers comment on.
Thankfully, she's level headed. Her class had a one-off lesson on how the media treats girls and women, and she had a lot to say about it - so did her friends.
A girl's looks are not the most important thing about her. We all know this, except random strangers don't seem to have got the message.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 16:16

I actually find your last post like a riddle!
There isn't any weird mystery.
Being good looking is great - but it isn't always plain sailing.
That is all.

Coconutspongexo · 17/10/2017 16:20

I look a lot younger than my age .. I'm ugly as sin :)

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:30

What I'm saying is, beauty is dependent on the culture you live in.

A Kenyan Masai wouldn't find you attractive of you were the conventional look of barbie.

Hope that makes sense. If not, my apologies.

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:31

I'm ugly as sin

Bet youre a beaut

whoopwhoop21 · 17/10/2017 16:34

Name changed as sound like a conceited twat. As someone who fits society's so called beauty standards, tall, long wavy hair, white, slim, high cheekbones, etc & used to model (couldn't keep myself at size 8 though) I can say it's only a been a benefit. Never been bullied for it/mistreated etc & plenty of female friends & worked for yrs in the fashion industry. I'm sure i've been judged behind my back & some people don't like me but who hasn't experienced that. I would never assume it's because of the way I look though. In fact some of the most beautiful people I knew growing up were shy & would never assume they were beautiful.

Another caveat, just because you model doesn't make you beautiful, Lily Cole is striking not beautiful imo. Just because your good looking doesn't mean you age well or look younger for longer either although bone structure helps.

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 16:35

let
I don't look like Barbie Grin
I'm not that type of look!
And ... l've never visited with a Kenyan Masai - so we will never know... Wink

taratill · 17/10/2017 16:38

let I know what you mean I mentioned it in a pp, my DH is ravishing in Ho Chi Minh but quite ordinary by Western Standards!

whoopwhoop21 · 17/10/2017 16:38

Oh I was occasionally teased for being lanky & skinny (I was though).

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 16:40

whoop
Are you taking to me?

I worked in high fashion for about 20 years. I was a beauty and editorial fashion model.
In that environment l was not particularly unique. The industry is littered with beautiful people.
However- in my real life and school days things were not always great!
Good looking people do tend to age well - or at least still look attractive!

whoopwhoop21 · 17/10/2017 16:41

I've yet to read one news story along the lines of "people hate me because I'm beautiful" where the victims are nothing more than attractive.

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 16:44

In my case, l'm not/ wasn't hated.
Women were bitchy to me and tended to make me work harder to join groups etc...
My model friends from those days are still great friends today. Having known how superficial the modelling world can be.

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:47

Tara exactly. Theres no universal look is there and standards of beauty change overtime.

whoopwhoop21 · 17/10/2017 16:48

with not just you more generally.

Very few people are good looking throughout childhood, adolescence & adulthood & tend to blossom at different points as you should know from the fashion industry.

A beautiful face with a good bone structure will still look attractive as one ages but not always. Youth really does add a lot.

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:48

With

I dont think its the way you look but your personality/behaviour.

Do you seem stand offish?

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 16:49

Otherwise lots of "beautiful" people would report to being treated badly for their looks.

TheFirstMrsDV · 17/10/2017 16:51

Ive been thinking about this today.
I have a few women friends who are very beautiful.
They are not aware of it. Despite being told as adults how lovely they are.
The women I am thinking off come from pretty crappy home lives and difficult childhoods. They were definitely never told they were beautiful as children.
They share a pattern of abusive relationships with inadequate men who cannot believe their luck at getting this gorgeous woman. They realise very early on that they don't know they are attractive and set out to make sure that things stay that way. So they tell them they are fat and ugly and any attention they get from other men is their fault because they are such a whore.

Not developing a child's self esteem can make them vulnerable to abuse.

Coconutspongexo · 17/10/2017 16:55

whoopwhoop21

I'm 5'11 long blonde curly hair, high cheek bonesx square jaw line.. yet Ive been told I'm ugly - I'm always told I look very Eastern European looking (makes sense considering my mum is Polish) but I've been voted ugliest in my year, I've been called ugly to my face numerous times. I agree with them

But what you're calling beautiful others have called ugly.

whoopwhoop21 · 17/10/2017 16:55

In what way are people bitchy to you? Are you sure you don't come across aloof? Another model (not fanous) lives near me (recognise her from back in the day) & I see her fairly often. Ive smiled at her & got ignored.

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 17:00

let Confused
Seriously?
I couldn't be warmer. Especially to other females.
Insecure females are the ones that tend/tended to give me a hard time.

These days l am constantly complimented on my kind and cheerful nature.

I'm much older now. I mix with mature and nurturing females - by choice.

I've also been sexually abused in my youth - by family( as a child) and aggressive males as an adult.

Life l guess.

whoopwhoop21 · 17/10/2017 17:02

Dipping Well I was told I fit the Gisele look when I was scouted as that just happened to be in fashion at the time. Not everyone will think Im attractive of course & I do look better in photos but I do think it's helped me.

I can't believe people would call anyone ugly to their face. How mean!

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 17:03

And let
I can only assume by your interrogation of me/ my manner that you must be extremely secure and confident in yourself.
Not all humans are like that - surely you must realise that?

Letitsnowrainhail · 17/10/2017 17:08

No I was just wondering how you got to the conclusion that people were being mean to you for the way you look?

Have they said that or have you assumed that its because of the way you look?

Sorry if you feel like I'm interrogating you, that wasn't my intention.

I think I'm secure in myself not to care what I look like. More important stuff to do with my time- I have a toddler for starters.

charmedrose · 17/10/2017 17:09

dipping
What nasty people, to call you ugly to your face, i bet you're not and they're just jealous. People never fail to amaze me.

Coconutspongexo · 17/10/2017 17:13

No these were truly stunning girls, they have no reason to be jealous of me st all

withlotsoflove · 17/10/2017 17:16

let
I'm pretty intuitive . Are you honestly saying you've never met a jealous and or bitchy woman?
I'm in my 40's now , l've raised two male teenagers plus my daughter.
I've noticed teens are actually kinder to each other these days.
I was just talking with my adult son about it the other day.

One example for you.
I'd turn up to a party ( outside the industry)
The women would look me up and down - and ignore. Anyone that has been on the receiving end of that 'face' will know what l'm referring to.

Come to think of it , l've had ex school mates cone up to me in later years and apologise. They knew what they were doing and maturity/ being mothers themselves,had made them look back and feel guilty.

It happens.