My granddaughter is beautiful, and . . . .?

[OfCourseEveWasFramed]

She's 10, year 6 and people actually stop us in the street to tell her she's beautiful. This has been going on for her lifetime. She says thank you.
She says, 'thanks, I'm also really smart and I'm a good climber'.
Her looks are the only thing that strangers comment on.
Thankfully, she's level headed. Her class had a one-off lesson on how the media treats girls and women, and she had a lot to say about it - so did her friends.
A girl's looks are not the most important thing about her. We all know this, except random strangers don't seem to have got the message.

She says, 'thanks, I'm also really smart

Lol, she sounds lovely

But why do people feel the need to comment on a child being beautiful?
That's because looks, esp on girls/women, is what is seen as the most important.

So yes that's true that people can't comment on how clever she is.
But the issue is why they feel there is anything to comment on in the first place!

Not sure what the AIBU is.

Strangers in the street often tell me my baby boy is beautiful. I take it as it's meant, a pleasant observation they're sharing to what they probably (rightly) assume to be his proud mother! I think it's nice.

@OfCourseEveWasFramed

My granddaughter is beautiful, and.....

She's 10, year 6 and people actually stop us in the street to tell her she's beautiful. This has been going on for her lifetime

It's her grand-DD. Allowed a stealth boast about DGDs I should think!

'There's only one most beautiful child in the world and every mother's got it'.

A very wise woman once said that to me and I know it applies to Grandmothers too. My Granddaughter is actually the most beautiful.

OP, I am sure your Granddaughter is beautiful, and clever and climbs well and will also be a strong feminist, unaffected by peoples praise of her looks. Enjoy her.

Cool story 👍🏻

Pointless post alert

that's awful, Pirates...I feel it is linked somehow to OP's complaint, not sure how. I guess it's partly that random strangers feel they have the right to make judgements about children (good or bad). Maybe a total lack of empathy?

And I think her comment about being also clever and very good at climbing is fantastic.
Because each time she says that she is reminding herself she isn't JUST beautiful but a lot of other things too.

I constantly get told my 2 ds are very handsome so people do comment on boys looks too

Op, I wouldn't over think it.
Most people post here about shitty things people say or do.
Someone wanted to say something nice, leave it at that.

And I think her comment about being also clever and very good at climbing is fantastic

No it isn't. It's cringeworthy.

Ironically I get told how ugly I am by random strangers all the time... I also share with them I’m a mom of two and I’m allowed to look like shite. I also highlight I’m an astrophysicist, you know I have the brains to compliment the ugliness, it’s not just pretty people who are smart.

Strangely strangers haven’t got the message that this isn’t ok...

.

She says, 'thanks, I'm also really smart and I'm a good climber'

Yes OP, of course she says that.

Jesus

Every time I get a compliment I also list the rest of the fantastic things about me so people know that I'm not just a gorgeous face

People used to stop me in the street to tell me how beautiful DD was.
It happened when she was a baby and as a child.
Literally stop me just to tell me how stunning she was.
I used to tell her she was beautiful too. I used to tell her that to be beautiful was a gift but to be kind and thoughtful and to work hard were important too.

No one ever told me I was beautiful as a child. I was told I was weird looking and I was laughed at.
I wasn't going to have that for my DD. Knowing I thought she was beautiful never made her vain or big headed.
She was a self possessed and gentle child.
She is gone now and I remember those times when strangers pulled me aside to tell me she was amazing with pleasure and pride.

Map is correct. I get told how good looking my boys are too.

I don't think anyone can usefully comment unless you produce a pic of your beautiful GD. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I worry about paedophiles when people comment on how beautiful my daughter is.

What a weird post

I think most children are attractive, it's their youth, what makes one child more attractive than another? So much so that people stop other people in the street to mention it?
I do sometimes think there's a parallel MN universe where these things go on.

I know of other families where this has happened often. There is so much wrong with it!

Firstly, whether well meaning or not (and it surely is usually well meaning), why does someone feel the need or right to pass judgment and comment on another person's looks?

Secondly, it reinforces the cultural expectation on girls and women to look pleasing.

Thirdly, the families I know with experience of this have had a less striking sister. The constant compliments of one's looks has directly damaged the self esteem of the other sibling. It's a cruel lesson for them.

Would you want to open a copy of Vogue and see clothes modelled by models who aren’t stunningly beautiful? The model might do astrophysics on the side but at that moment only their looks matter. Looks play a part in life how ever much anyone would rather they didn’t.

Meh. People have commented on my sons being 'handsome' when they were younger. We were practically mobbed by the locals in Malta who wanted to pinch their cheeks etc. I took it as the compliment that it was intended to be.

They are also both smart and good at climbing trees