I think the golden rule for men should be...

[brasty]

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Wtaf is that btw. A piss take right?

WTAF is that btw. A piss take right?

I did a google image search on it; it led me straight to a MRA site.

It could be possible that some men are unaware of how widespread this bullshit is. Just in case... I know multiple women who have been raped as adults or sexually abused as children. None of them has spoken to the police about it. The only person I know who has had any police involvement is the male victim I know.

Talking to women, if you are LUCKY the street harassment started about 11 or 12 years old. For the unlucky, actual abuse started much younger. Then it is fairly constant for two decades. With the LUCKY women only being shouted at, whispered at, leched at by strangers, followed and touched inappropriately occasionally.

Please have a think about what it means that I consider myself LUCKY to have only been mildly sexually assaulted. And harassed not properly stalked. I mean I have been threatened a few times but nothing too serious. Called a cunt and a bitch and a whore and frigid and lesbian... But nothing as bad as a lot of other women.

If your first reaction to this post is 'but, but, but...' take a long hard look at yourself in a mirror.

Anyone that doesn't see this as a good "rule", has something wrong with them.

PoeDameronLovesFinn

We men all do
Yes

Also Benedict Cumberbatch.

No

🤦‍♀️ let’s apply all the shitty stereotype whilst we are here. It’s really scary that there is a group of people that genuinely think feminism equals that.

I'm not comfortable with the word "respectful" really, either. It sounds a bit - oh, I don't know- taking your hat off in the presence of a lady- if you see what I mean. A lot of abuse used to happen under the cover of gentlemanly behaviour.

What's wrong with polite and considerate, which works the other way round too?

I know what you mean. There's something about respect that means you have to behave even though you might not want to.

You show respect to your boss so you're not sacked. You show respect to get what you want.

It should be coming from a really innate sense of a minimum common decency.

Cockacidal, check out the White Ribbon campaign. It's not perfect, but it's as good a start as anywhere. I went through the same thought processes as you, felt powerless then found other men felt the same and began to give support to these initiatives. Have to avoid the MRA elements though...

I'm not comfortable with the word "respectful" really, either.

I agree that respect is a tricky concept. I teach communication and I avoid 'respect'. It's culturally bound, it's full of value judgements, it's used to control people (particularly young people) and it's basically meaningless.

@TheMaddHugger

What is your problem?

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Oh.

Now I get it.

Not going to get in to an argument with you but if youd hate it if men stopped chatting you up then you need help. Makes you sound desperate for male attention.

I don't need to be desperate for male attention. But one of the reasons I prefer male company to female is because of bitchy comments like yours, which I've never had from men. If you need to cast aspersions about my or any other stranger's mental health because of one opinion on a social media thread then that says more about you than me

Get over it cappu what’s it to you?

^This

@pastabest I'm glad I'm not you

why Overnight? Because I had pointed out (politely) that you had totally and utterly missed the point of the meme? Yeah I'm pretty glad you aren't me too if you can't grasp a basic concept and get shirty with anyone who tries to explain it to you.

pasta

I wouldnt mind but you were very polite to over

madhugger

That looks like the cat version of the exorcist

If men usually approached women just to chat, we wouldn't be having this conversation. The problem is they don't, not really.

There is a happy medium here where everyone can be happy. Let's face it almost nobody waxes lyrical on the London Underground, there are certain situations where you leave people in peace. It also won't bring the human race to a shuddering halt if lone women aren't approached in the street.

In terms of social skills go up a notch, if you want to socialise then approach groups of people. Anyone whom is particularly interested in what you have to say will gravitate towards you, and those who aren't won't. Fine tune and calibrate, be good in groups and people will like you. Make it more about people and not women.

Finally when it comes to flirting/compliments, if you don't have the context with any individual person then why do it? If a flirt or compliment happens to land with someone who you don't know it's pure chance rather than speaking of a particularly strong social capability or attractiveness on your part.

But I think all these campaigns have showed men the extent women are affected by seemingly harmless conversations.

Sadly, I believe that the men that are willing to listen aren't really the problem in the first place.

DP was shocked when I said I start checking if I'm being followed, what's the best escape route, where's the nearest busy place etc. every fucking time some idiot decides to cat call me or approach me in a quiet area. He obviously understood that it can make a woman feel uncomfortable, but it didn't really sink in we'd feel unsafe.

Another would be, do not ever touch a female you do not know. With exceptions for handshakes in interviews, helping in a situation that clearly needs your help (ie. medical setting), and maybe grabbing her to stop her walking infront of a moving bus

Honestly I have found any adult woman who prefers male company to female, has shed loads of internalised misogyny, and that her attitude is apparent to other women.

With exceptions for handshakes in interviews, helping in a situation that clearly needs your help (ie. medical setting) Even in medical emergencies, when the person is seemingly unconscious, I still say, "I'm going to touch your shoulder now" loudly and clearly.

I think men would be amazed at how much women are touched without being asked. Even when I have said, "please don't touch me".

Well OP it's very arrogant to assume that just because something is your opinion then that automatically makes it a fact. I prefer male company because men I know like to talk about football and the women want to talk about their children, make up, hair and fashion which I find boring as fuck. If that makes me a misogynist I couldn't care less

You're criticizing me for being misogynist while showing your own prejudices by lumping all women who prefer male company in to one group

"You're criticizing me for being misogynist while showing your own prejudices by lumping all women who prefer male company in to one group"
Says the person who says that women only want to talk about hair and make-up!

I am a woman and do not talk about children, hair make up, or football. You have pretty stereotyped ideas of women. My best friend (female) loves football and rugby.
We talk about politics, funny things that have happened and banter.