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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I being unreasonable to comment on trolley?

213 replies

queenthequeen · 15/10/2017 14:19

A lady and I were in the same aisle or the supermarket and I made what I thought was a friendly comment about her trolley.

She got really angry and asked what the duck it had to do with me.

OP posts:
InsomniacAnonymous · 16/10/2017 23:22

I don't look in other people's trolleys, let alone comment on the contents, but I'm shocked at the number of posters who've said "I would've told you to fuck off". Why is there any need for that degree of aggression?

Insomnibrat · 16/10/2017 23:24

This is one of my all time pet hates. I have quite bad social anxiety and HATE the feeling that other people are staring at me or my stopping while I queue.
I completely understand her reaction. Please don't do this again OP.

NewDaddie · 16/10/2017 23:28

YWBU. These days unless your trolley is greener than a rainforest it’s rude and shaming to talk about it.

Phalenopsisgirl · 16/10/2017 23:36

I would have just replied ‘gotta love a Dr Pepper ‘ and smiled, I certainly wouldn’t have taken offence, some people are great examples of why we have such social isolation and loneliness issues in modern society.

Jux · 16/10/2017 23:37

Last winter I commented on a woman's trolley - "omg, are those mandarins? I've been looking for them for weeks and everywhere has clementines which none of us like!"

She was great, agreed that clementines are horrid and told me what aisle the mandarins were in, then asked her dh to go and get some for me so I could stay in the queue!

Venusflytwat · 16/10/2017 23:38

I was stood behind a bloke with a brilliant basketload once. Cheese, wine, pork pies. It looked immense.

I idly said, "Ooh, I wish I was coming back to your house" and he looked at me in such horror. He clearly thought I was trying to pull him. He practically ran out of the shop.

Sigh.

So, yeah. I've been there too. Next time let's just keep our mouths shut 😂

NamedyChangedy · 16/10/2017 23:42

I now avoid going to the Tesco round the corner because I know I'll have to stop and chat half a dozen times. All very friendly I'm sure, but I just want to get in and out quickly, and get on with other things! Online shopping FTW!

3EyedRaven · 16/10/2017 23:48

I probably would have given you an tight smile, whilst thinking ‘yes, why else would I have a trolley full of them unless I liked them, you fucking idiot’
Talking to strangers is fine (even here in London ) but at least say something interesting.

3EyedRaven · 16/10/2017 23:50

See jux’s comment. Perfectly normal thing to have a chat about in a supermarket.
Saying ‘you must like thing you’re buying..’
Meh

Piewraith · 17/10/2017 00:09

I'm a bit like that lady except for me it's diet coke. About once a month I go down and buy my monthly supply. And yes, it's embarrassing and I always hope that I won't see anyone I know there. So I wouldn't welcome a stranger making an inane comment like that. Obviously filling a trolley with diet coke isn't exactly my proudest moment!

honeyrider · 17/10/2017 00:16

YWBU, you were rude to make a judgemental comment, she was rude too but you brought it on yourself.

Mumto2two · 17/10/2017 09:59

What a sad reflection of society this is. So much aggression on a forum inhabited by 'mums'?!
I'm sorry OP, you could have commented on my trolley all you wished, or anything else for that matter! And I would have taken it as nothing more than the friendly overture it obviously was Smile

echt · 17/10/2017 10:20

While I can see how the touchy Dr.Pepper addict might get the arse, I still giggle at the memory of another evident mum, her trolley full of worthy family bollocky shite, looking at my trolley full of gin, tonic, lemons and jolly appetisers and saying: "I so wish that was my trolley. Right now." (Dulwich Sainsburys, early 2000s since you asked)

We sniggered. :o

Meadowflowers · 17/10/2017 10:25

I get it every single week. We all drink bottled water. 8 people in our house so a lot of bottles of water. People comment on the trolley full of water every week. I just smile politely and walk on. My reasons for the water are personal but i can see why people would pass comment. I think everyone, everywhere just needs to have a massive chill out.

user1485342611 · 17/10/2017 10:35

Jeeze, some people will take offence at anything. Soon we'll be afraid to even look at anyone else in the supermarket in case they assume we're being judgemental, nosey, whatever [sad sigh]

Zaphodsotherhead · 17/10/2017 10:36

I work on a till in a small supermarket. I rarely comment on the contents of someone's basket or trolley (on the grounds it's none of my business) but customers will often pre-empt remarks with 'it's not ALL for me!' if it's loads of chocolate or alcohol, or 'you've got a really good deal on these!' if it's loads of pasta bakes or something.

i try to make conversation about other things (if they are wearing a nice top, or have had their hair done or if their child is helping), because I know, from the comments above, that people can be sensitive about what checkout people think of them!

Fekko · 17/10/2017 15:53

I went shopping today. I didn't say a thing to anyone. Not even to the young woman squealing and doing a happy dance at the sight of some Linda McCartney pies in the freezer.

In the old days I would have joined in. Not now though. Not now that it's not allowed to make chit chat or interact with strangers without a bloody good reason.

treaclesoda · 17/10/2017 15:57

I was in the supermarket today and the man behind me at the checkout was buying nothing except toilet roll. 120 rolls of it, in fact.

I nodded sympathetically and asked if he had diaorhhea. *

  • I didn't really. I politely ignored him.
MinervaSaidThar · 17/10/2017 16:03

Oh God I said the same to a woman who cut and ate a whole pineapple for lunch everyday in the office. I once said what a lovely healthy lunch (sincerely) and she got very offended.

I don't comment on anyone's food now.

Fekko · 17/10/2017 16:10

How dare you comment on somebody's pineapple. How very dare you.

Bluelonerose · 17/10/2017 16:18

@turnipcake Grin

I like a bit of banter while I shop sometimes.
However if I'm in a hurry I just want to be in and out no chit chat.
Try not to take it to heart some people are just grumpy.

Youshallnotpass · 17/10/2017 16:19

People get offended by the stupidest shit these days

BlueButTrue · 17/10/2017 16:29

People get offended by the stupidest shit these days

Lol, 100% true.

Ollivander84 · 17/10/2017 17:09

To add a nice one in. Before Christmas last year I overheard two people chatting. Nothing unusual. Except it was two complete strangers, a lady of about 80 and a young Polish lad (maybe 20?)
She was instructing him exactly how to cook sprouts for Christmas dinner and quizzing him about the turkey, and what other vegetables he would be having. He was writing notes on his phone and asking loads of questions about roasting potatoes and how long to cook the turkey for
Must have been hormonal because something started leaking from my eyes Blush
You probably had to be there but it was just this moment of two completely different generations bonding over sprouts!

elland · 17/10/2017 18:53

You were just being friendly OP, anyone who needs to resort to replying like are the ones with the problem! There are ways of telling people to mind their own business without being as harsh.

I was buying a pregnancy test in Tesco once and the cashier said I hope it’s positive for you 😂 I was only confirming what other tests had told me but I did cringe for her knowing that it’s not going to be the right thing to say to everyone.

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