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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I being unreasonable to comment on trolley?

213 replies

queenthequeen · 15/10/2017 14:19

A lady and I were in the same aisle or the supermarket and I made what I thought was a friendly comment about her trolley.

She got really angry and asked what the duck it had to do with me.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/10/2017 14:54

I was once behind a guy with loads of booze at Christmas and I jokingly asked if I was invited to the party, I can only assume he misheard and thought I'd asked to shit on his face, giving the reaction I got

This actually made me laugh out loud Grin

Eolian · 15/10/2017 14:55

Lots and lots of people struggle with their weight or with healthy eating. It must often feel like the world is judging them, so it shouldn't be too surprising if they don't appreciate comments on the contents of their shopping trolley. Most would probably not retaliate, but would use the comment as further reason to continue to best themselves up about their lack of willpower. But some might really have had enough and would be rude back. I find it quite surprising that some people don't think before making 'friendly' comments like this to others.

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/10/2017 14:56

worra, I'm chuckling at "chatty little bastards"

RhiannonOHara · 15/10/2017 14:56

Sounds friendly and innocuous to me. She was probably just in a bad mood, or is a bit of a misanthrope. Or is sensitive about her Dr Pepper drinking.

Whatever, I wouldn't worry about it.

NameChanger22 · 15/10/2017 14:57

I was once in a queue for the till when someone behind me turned up with 12 tubs of gravy granules. He didn't have any other shopping. I asked him if they were on offer. He took offence and moved to another queue. I still have no idea why. I went back to see if they were on offer but they weren't.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy · 15/10/2017 14:58

Who comments on other people's shopping? Why would you even feel the need to do that. I think it's very rude.

Feministcheeseplate · 15/10/2017 14:58

It's not rude to comment on someone's trolly. It's rude to say something rude about the contents of trolly.

For example:
"do you really need that many cakes?"
"what, are you a drunk or something?"

^those things would be rude. You like Dr Peppe. It's idle chit chat to get us all through our miserable days. Said in a friendly way. It means nothing, is instantly forgotten by a normal person.

It's not fucking secret what they've bought Hmm I mean you can literally see what's there and as to "dying of embarrassment" because someone you mentioned you had a lot of pop, if you in fact had a lot of pop. My god. I remember when I first moved here trying to make small talk in shops, new to the country, quite lonely. You'd think I spit in their mouth. Don't worry I soon learned.

It's inane chit chat, it might be boring worst but it's not bloody rude.

Feministcheeseplate · 15/10/2017 14:59

I can never tell if people on MN live in an alternate universe or if people just try to be goady for the sake of it on here.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 15/10/2017 15:00

Are you serious with your comment was hilarious post, HateHomework? Confused
Bet you go down a storm at parties...
I’d have been a bit taken aback at comments from strangers on my trolley, tbh. I’d put it in a par with those “cheer up, it may never happen”, (usually accompanied by a manic leer) idiots.
myofb.

NapQueen · 15/10/2017 15:01

Its a very "stating the obvious" comment though. She has a trolley full. She isnt using it to fill a pond.

HateHomework · 15/10/2017 15:03

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Why would I say it's hilarious if it wasn't? I found it hilarious... What's the problem?

RoseWhiteTips · 15/10/2017 15:04

You are in a supermarket. You do what you have to do. Then you leave. Honestly, why on earth would you comment on someone else’s trolley contents?
Weird.

Feministcheeseplate · 15/10/2017 15:05

I’d put it in a par with those “cheer up, it may never happen”, (usually accompanied by a manic leer) idiots. myofb.

it's the manic leer, please smile for my amusement that's the issue surely? Not that a person spoke to you? How can you put street harassment in the same category as "that's a lot of dr pepper"!

SentimentalLentil · 15/10/2017 15:05

Now I love a bit of idle chit chat, I'll idly chit chat until the cows come home. It's a running joke that leave me somewhere and when you come back I'll be sitting with a stranger having them tell me their life story. I'm nosey and chatty.

BUT it I was always taught it was rude to comment on what someone is buying or eating.
I hate when people comment on what I'm eating too, 'oh that's a big portion' , 'where do you put all that?', 'got enough for everyone?'

Start a conversation about something else, 'oh I LOVE your scarf' 'funny weather we've been having' 'terrible match at the weekend'

RoseWhiteTips · 15/10/2017 15:06

However, Dr Pepper is revolting. I guess the angry women was a bit weird, too.

derxa · 15/10/2017 15:06

Move to Scotland OP. People are forever chatting at tills.

RoseWhiteTips · 15/10/2017 15:06

woman

GoldenWorld · 15/10/2017 15:06

People commenting on my trolley is my pet hate, can't stand it! I can see that comment coming across as judgey depending on how it was said. I have a history of disordered eating and was convinced the whole world was judging my eating habits. Comments like that would make me both pissed off and upset. Plus, I find it a bit rude in general, I would never comment on someone's shopping, others think it's friendly. You live and learn.

I also don't like that particular kind of comment as I've had smarmy men say similar things who think they're being oh so witty and funny.

Seeingadistance · 15/10/2017 15:11
starzig · 15/10/2017 15:11

I would have been really offended. Somebody commented too me at Primark when I was stocking up in basic undies and jammies (someone a big fan of Primark then) and tbh it really upset me.

Lurkedforever1 · 15/10/2017 15:15

Was it really dr pepper op or were you just using that to explain what you said? Because I can imagine someone being a bit offended if it was in fact pies, or biscuits in that scenario.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/10/2017 15:17

I would have regarded that as a friendly comment - there's no way I would have taken offence.

I have had similar remarks made to me, and have made them to other people (for example, about 3-4 weeks ago the guy in front of me in the queue in Tesco's had something like 60 chocolate oranges, and I made some smartarse comment about him opening a chocolate marmalade factory and to put me down for 6 jars.

He said he wished he could but they weren't for him, they were for "the lasses upstairs". Apparently one of them had been for her lunch and come back to their office with the world-shattering- news that chocolate oranges were on "buy one, get TWO free". As he had been about to start his own lunch he had been commissioned to buy umpteen for his office and bitterly resented the fact--.

Whoever the woman was you spoke to, she sounds a right mardy cow. She could have just given a tight cat'sbum smile and taken no further notice of you. Her aggressive outburst was way over the top unless she is seriously addicted Dr Pepper and desperate for a fix.

SpanskIld · 15/10/2017 15:17

I think it's as simple as her misunderstanding your intentions and taking it as a jab.

starzig · 15/10/2017 15:17

I definitely don't think the judged woman was rude. More likely just defensive as she has just been made to feel bad for her choices.

BellaNoche · 15/10/2017 15:20

I'm thinking of taking a tarpaulin to cover my trolley until the big reveal at the till on Monday....this may make most people wary of me.

Ta da! No Dr. Pepper....but lots of gin.... that's all folks ...the shows over...move along now ....aisle 2 is just opening