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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I being unreasonable to comment on trolley?

213 replies

queenthequeen · 15/10/2017 14:19

A lady and I were in the same aisle or the supermarket and I made what I thought was a friendly comment about her trolley.

She got really angry and asked what the duck it had to do with me.

OP posts:

Fekko · 15/10/2017 14:30

I kept bumping into an elderly chap last week who peered into my trolley and commented on the amount of food, why I was buying so much milk, why 2 doz eggs, did I have a large family... then I was next to him at the till and he continued to quiz me. I think he was just being chatty and wanted to make conversation.

I could see how he could have pissed some folks off if he caught them on a bad day.

NataliaOsipova · 15/10/2017 14:30

I said something like oh you must like Dr Pepper as she had a lot of them)

In fairness, that sounds like a pretty innocuous comment. I'd have thought "friendly" too. I thought you were going to say that you'd told her processed food was bad for her, or that she shouldn't be buying so many sweets, or something like that. Think you got unlucky, OP!

Floralnomad · 15/10/2017 14:32

I wouldn't have commented but no need for her to be rude , I'd have just thought you were a bit odd and a bit nosey .

Katedotness1963 · 15/10/2017 14:32

I really, really hate it when people comment on what I'm buying. It doesn't matter if I've got a trolley full of crap, it's for a party, full of fruit and veg, my diet has eff all to do with you and I don't care about what you can eat on SW!

I once had a cashier tell me the pillows I was buying were crap and I really should buy the more expensive ones. Which I would have been doing, if I could afford them!

MartinJD · 15/10/2017 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Crispsheets · 15/10/2017 14:34

Someone commented on my very full trolley of alcohol in the queue.
"You must like wine"
I replied that yes I did, I was an alcoholic

CoughLaughFart · 15/10/2017 14:35

It was an innocent enough comment - although I do wonder what you were expecting in reply. 'No, I hate the stuff; I'm buying it to pour it down the sink'?

Pigface1 · 15/10/2017 14:35

I don't think there was any call to swear at you at all. I'd have just said 'yes, I do!' But clearly she feels guilty about it and jumped to the conclusion that you were being judgy.

GrumpyOldBag · 15/10/2017 14:35

You were both being unreasonable.

You shouldn't have commented on the contents of her trolley, and she should not have been rude to you when you did.

HateHomework · 15/10/2017 14:36

Comment was hilarious .... some people are too grumpy that's all! YANBU

IHaveBrilloHair · 15/10/2017 14:38

I'd have thought friendly and said, ha, yes I do, or some such inane but friendly comment back.
I was once behind a guy with loads of booze at Christmas and I jokingly asked if I was invited to the party, I can only assume he misheard and thought I'd asked to shit on his face, giving the reaction I got.

jellyshoeswithdiamonds · 15/10/2017 14:41

Some people need to lighten up OP.

Bloke behind me in a queue commented on the cost of my bill whilst I paid when I didn’t have a full trolley “Mostly wine” I smiled

BellaNoche · 15/10/2017 14:44

It depends what you say and how you say it.

Sometimes people are just being friendly. I'm sure you were OP.
I always remember a single friend ( a bit of a hermit) who told me that he never spoke to anyone all weekend except the shop assistant.
So usually I would just give a smile or have a bit of banter if it was well meaning.

I did tell one older man stood behind me with his wife to mind his own business....after he remarked on everything I was taking out of the trolley. In an unpleasant sort of tone as in "oooh how many bloody eggs have you bought?" "oooh that's a lot of spuds" " oooh I couldn't eat that..."
I do a huge shop every month. I would never dream of commenting on someones trolley contents.
"oooh that's a lot of pasta... did you borrow it from someone on Mumsnet?

SentimentalLentil · 15/10/2017 14:45

comment was hilarious

Yes quite the comic genuis, do tell us when your Edinburgh Fringe show is on.

I hate it when people do this, I know people are just being friendly but I'm a grown woman and what I choose to spend my money on has eff all to do with other people. TBH I would never swear at someone in public like that but I'd think it loudly in my head.

Also I'm fine now, but there was a point when I was very anxious and I found picking food so hard, shopping was very stressful and I'd have died of embarrassment if someone had made a comment about the amount of pop in my trolley.

oldlaundbooth · 15/10/2017 14:46

Was it on special?

And did she actually say 'fuck off'?

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2017 14:48

This is Mumsnet, OP.

Often you'll find commenting on anything to a stranger is a hanging offence.

In other news, Brits are apparently not as friendly as other Europeans and hardly ever make friendly conversation with strangers.

Make of that what you will

Annelind · 15/10/2017 14:48

I've often made jokey comments like this - if someone has a lot of cream cakes - "I'm coming for tea at yours!" if there is a lot of alcohol "mine's a double!" etc; these comments have always lead to light conversation and banter. You were just unlucky, OP!

amicissimma · 15/10/2017 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kaytee87 · 15/10/2017 14:49

Your comment was a bit weird but she was rude to swear.

Whitecurrants · 15/10/2017 14:49

She was probably just having a bad day. Move on and don’t worry about it. FWIW if you’d said that to me I wouldn’t have thought it was particularly rude (although I would have wondered who’d put all that Dr Pepper into my trolley because it’s properly nasty)

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2017 14:49

Oh and if the cashier had the audacity to look up and make polite conversation with you, please dial 101 and get it logged NOW.

Chatty little bastards.

HateHomework · 15/10/2017 14:50

Didn't someone say here in AIBU a while ago that the rule here in U.K. to never talk to anyone on the street?

MrsC2000 · 15/10/2017 14:52

I think it's really rude to comment on the contents of someone's trolley. Somebody made a comment to me about the amount of biscuits I had and that I shouldn't feed my kids such rubbish. They were actually donations for a charity coffee morning, didn't feel I should have to explain this so told her to mind her own business

BrutusMcDogface · 15/10/2017 14:53

Ywbu. If you want to be friendly, just smile at them! No need to comment on their trolley.

Ohyesiam · 15/10/2017 14:54

To some people it's a friendly opener, to some it's a busy body remark, and maybe to some it's really triggering because she can't stop drinking it. Sugar addiction is a massive problem.
I'm in the middle, and would probably think busy body, specially if premenstrual.

I like connecting with people, and generally make conversion with cashiers etc( or it seems a bit objectifying), but I tend to pick " shared experience " kind of topics, or something general.

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