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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed with my friends?

232 replies

SongforSal · 14/10/2017 20:21

5 of us get together frequently for drinks etc. This month was one of my friends birthday. One of our friends has a parent that runs a spa type place, and wangled us an amazing deal of 20 quid each. Amazing.

Anyway, as not to drip feed. The spar day was 2 weeks before the actual birthday, now money has been tight for me. The car went to car heaven, and I have started a new job with a 7 week pay gap. I did however budget for friends birthday.

A week before the spa, with the view that once I got paid, I'd give her a pressie in time for her birthday. Another friend sent her bank details to me asking for 100 quid. Turns out she assumed I would split the cost for birthday girl, and put in jointly for a big present. I explained my financial situation and they understood.

I was planning on going still and sending a present when I get paid. However.

Just seen pictures on social media, the date was moved and they went without me.
Thinking about it, not one of them has even asked how my new job is going. I have babysat their kids numerous times and fed them. One of these friends I recently gave a gig ticket to for free worth loads as it comes with back stage access, and I gave it to her because she loves the artist more than me. Another of these friends I have financially helped when down on their luck.

Don't get me wrong. I am glad my friend had a nice birthday, but it seems I was ultimately excluded because I could not financially contribute to the big present.

Anyway, had a message from birthday girl tonight asking if I could look after her DC'S next week overnight. No mention of her birthday, no asking about my new job. Am I being a mug or to sensitive?

.

OP posts:
Ermm · 14/10/2017 21:03

Oh sorry just read that you made it clear. Even so - probably worth checking that it was clear from their end. It’s such a vile thing to do that I’m actually finding it hard to imagine that they could have done it! If the had, I’d be dropping them like hot rocks and be pleased to be out of it!

Original poster
SongforSal · 14/10/2017 21:05

No. Not lost any money. Thanks for the advice people, completely right.

OP posts:
Normalserviceissuspended · 14/10/2017 21:06

Did you pay any money by the bank details?

timeisnotaline · 14/10/2017 21:06

Please do use one of these replies. You can't just ignore that.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 14/10/2017 21:09

I'd just text back "is this a joke?" and then see what she responds with.

Piss taking bunch of bitches. You don't need people like this in your life. I'm sorry they've been so awful.

Funnyface1 · 14/10/2017 21:11

You are not being too sensitive, these are supposed to be your friends and clearly haven't given a toss about you in this situation.

There is no way I would look after her kids and I'd absolutely have to say something. The text about looking forward to the spa day would be a good way to go. You'll get an indication of which way she's going to play it.

Either way, you deserve better friends, don't forget that.

Outlookmainlyfair · 14/10/2017 21:11

You are not being over sensitive at all, that is shitty behaviour.
Time to see them for what they are, but also to put yourself first. If they are good fun but shit friends you don’t need to burn bridges, just see them as just that, people you can meet up with but not friends you can trust. Do whatever makes you feel better!

zippydoodaar · 14/10/2017 21:11

£70 contribution to a friend's present is just bananas. I wouldn't be friends with them for that reason alone. Unless I was completed loaded which I'm not!

Willow2017 · 14/10/2017 21:13

No more favours for any of them. Totally nasty thing to do. I wonder what thier excuse is for moving the date without telling you? Bet they tie themselves in knots trying to justify it.

Tell them they just lost free babysitting for ever.

coldcuptea · 14/10/2017 21:16

You're too nice for them . Cut your losses and thank your lucky stars you can move on to better friends . Block and delete them all . I would .

paranoidpammywhammy2 · 14/10/2017 21:18

I went through something similar many years ago. I couldn't get over it and became a lot more observant. It wasn't a one-off. It hurts.
Flowers

StrangeLookingParasite · 14/10/2017 21:19

Wow, that was really horrible. No, I wouldn't be helping them out for any reason now.

ManchesterGin · 14/10/2017 21:20

Definitely reply with the suggested texts about the spa day.

What a horrible thing to do.

HeebieJeebies456 · 14/10/2017 21:25

My reply would be "You're joking right?! Ask one of the friends you celebrated your birthday with!"

or

"Sure thing - my rate is £x amount for x hours and payable in advance Smile"

Birthday girl might not have known about their intentions/demand for money, but she knew you weren't there.
She could have spoken/contacted you before/during/after the event - but she chose not to.

If it were me i'd be fuming at this total disrespect and disregard for me.
I'd be letting rip at her and then telling her where to go.

mummymummums · 14/10/2017 21:26

You poor thing - horrible to see this on social media. You 100% need new friends. Do not babysit - there have been some good suggestions for replies

BaconAndBees · 14/10/2017 21:27

Had they spent a similarly large amount on your birthday present - is that the problem?

BaconAndBees · 14/10/2017 21:28

PS:. If not, I wouldn't pick them up on it, I'd just leave them to it and be busy for any more invites.

Mittens1969 · 14/10/2017 21:32

You’re not being over sensitive, OP. They’re not your friends, they’re definitely taking you for a mug, and you really shouldn’t babysit for them anymore.

MrsPringles · 14/10/2017 21:38

Your friends are dicks. End of.
Don't look after her kids.

oldted · 14/10/2017 21:42

"Not sure what Ive got on, what date are we at the Spa again?"

"unaware of the change of date, my new job is fine, thanks for asking and no, I'm busy the day you want the kids looked after".

Either or both of these. With knobs on.

MytToeHurtsBetty · 14/10/2017 21:43

I'd certainly say. I'm sorry but i was really hurt that you left me out of yiur birthday spa day. So no, perhaps you can ask someone who went

mogulfield · 14/10/2017 21:47

The cheek of some ppl, I too think you should ask when the spa day is!

JaneEyre70 · 14/10/2017 21:49

Be truthful and message your friend back and ask if there was a particular reason why you were not included in her birthday? Say you are really offended to be left out, and it's probably not the best time to ask for a favour given how you are feeling.

3EyedRaven · 14/10/2017 21:50

Bunch

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 14/10/2017 21:50

Sod them. They are utter dicks
I was prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt that they thought you couldn't afford the spa too but it sounds like you made that clear

I like the suggestions above. Either feign innocence on when the spa date is or just call them out

You deserve better Flowers