Would you go to the Middle East in my position?

[missladybird]

3 year old dd with ex who lives/works in the ME for the next couple of years. I stupidly thought it was a good idea to go and visit him early next year and now I'm having second thoughts. Flights have been paid for (by him) but no accommodation so far.

Wwyd?

It's kind of sad reading all the "fuck no" posts from people who've never been to Oman. It's NOT the UAE.

We moved there when DD was 5 and DS 3 months old. It was an amazing experience. As a woman I was shown far more respect there than in the UK, especially as a mother. I was so disappointed when we moved to the UAE and it was so different.

When I was getting my residence visa a the PRO (go-to guy for non ME expats) was driving me around to get photos, fingerprints etc. He was saying their Sultan travelled the world (did military time in Sandhurst, I believe) and saw all the good things other countries had and decided he wanted them for his country. They guy said to me "That's why we have people like you here - to help us build all the things your countries have and we want. In exchange we want to give you a safe and happy place to live"

gets all misty-eyed and nostalgic

Oman is a beautiful, peaceful country. Muscat gorgeous. People respectful, friendly, great hospitality. Nov- April weather is fab, rest of year boiling hot. Go & enjoy!

Oman is lovely, and incredibly safe. There are not many places in the world I'd feel safer, and I mean that in general, not just in regards to terrorism.

Obviously OP's not worried about this, but as far as kidnapping goes, trying that as an expat anywhere would be idiotic, and trying it in Oman of all places would be especially stupid. If he attempted it he'd just be kicked out of the country.

I cringe when I see some of things MN'ers think is fine to say about ME, African and Asian countries they clearly know less than zero about. What on earth drives people to say these things when they have no actual knowledge of the subject? If you don't know just say nothing.

As far as the person who said the only ME country they'd travel to is Israel, while some areas of Israel are very progressive and very comfortable for Westerners, Israel has some very, very conservative areas too. More so than some other ME countries. In many ultra-orthodox neighbourhoods female tourists who don't dress as if they are ultra-orthodox and wear trousers or jeans or skirts that don't go well past their knees are at high risk of being pelted with stones and spat on, or even physically removed from the area, and the police turn a blind eye to this kind of behaviour. This can also happen in the touristy areas around religious landmarks. I like Israel a lot, but it has it's share of extremely misogynistic religious fundamentalists. It's not some kind of haven for women in the ME.

If you are concerned about Ex keeping DD, don't go - I see you are not concerned about this.
If you are concerned that Ex will cause issues for you, or oresurise you into anything, don't go.

But if you are after a holiday in a beautiful place, with amazing people and decent weather - assuming you are going before June, go. Oman is amazing. It is safe, clean and welcoming.

You will need to cover to visit the Grand Mosque (Ankle length bottoms, wrist length tops, and a head scarf) but otherwise, I'd say knee length and shoulders covered is fine for day to day.

An awful lot of ignorance on this thread

Oman is a beautiful country, the people are extremely friendly and imo the country is far safer than any Western country at the moment. There have been more terror incidents in the West than in Oman in the past 5 years - I've lived in Oman for 4 of those. My DD2 landed in Paris (from Oman) the day of the first attacks, it was the worst few days we've ever had. We never thought her terror training would be needed in the West - we lived in Saudi Arabia where the children have regular intruder drills, we had a safe room in our villa and once a month we'd go over our escape plans. When we moved to Oman, we didn't need to.

My DD1 and her family are flying here this week and we're booked into the Shangrila
for a few days, it's fabulous for children AND adults. There are swimming pools - you can wear a bikini if you want with no issues from anyone - a lazy river, splash pad, indoor play area, kids club and the beautiful beach which occasionally turtles hatch. Yes, they serve alcohol too. It's only about 30 minutes from Muscat airport. The souk on the corniche is a great experience, just as you'd imagine .

Come, relax and see just how friendly the place and people are.

I want to go on holiday there after reading this thread!

Me too! I'll be looking up Oman holidays in the future!

Oman is quite progressive for women. You need to wear long sleeves, but other than that, it sounds ok. I would never go on holiday, but for DD to see her dad I would.

You don't need to wear long sleeves. Cover your shoulders yes but a normal t-shirt is fine.

Oman really is a fantastic country. I'd move in a flash but DH can't work there and I'd have to take a salary cut.

We went to the Paris Mosque for the architecture: utterly beautiful, and :shock horror: were requested to cover shoulders and legs. Men and women !!!!

Same in Greek Orthodox churches in Europe! Europe!!!

So, you can wear swimwear in hotels and beaches, and honestly, the tradition of covering up in the heat surely stems from protecting your skin, and then people coming to find bare flesh unusual.

Many African peoples in traditional areas wear a lot less than we do in the UK. Should they refuse to visit in principle because :shock horror: they would be expected to wear more in the UK?

I understand that there IS an issue with oppression of women in many Islamic countries, but Oman seems far more liberal. Do people refuse to visit the U.S because in some states they execute people with learning difficulties and black people on shaky evidence, persecute gay people etc?

(Actually there are US states I would not visit or grace with my tourist dollar because of this, and I would not work in Saudi, but would pay a visit to Oman)

I lived in Muscat for 4 years with my family. It is very safe and the most beautiful place in the ME. It obviously depends if you're going for a holiday or to live. If it is for a holiday, do not go between May and October as it can be unbearably hot. If you're planning staying long term, you can't just rock, there have to be visas arranged with sponsorship from you Ex's company and you have to be married.
Locals are very friendly and as long as you dress respectively, shoulders and knees covered you will be absolutely fine. The hotels have pools and beaches where you can sit without being hassled at all.
Like PP gets all misty-eyed and nostalgic

An awful lot of ignorance on this thread

I know. And to all of those saying they'd never visit I can only say thank you because we don't actually want you here.

Omfg. OP, as long as you have no worries about him abducting your dd 🙄, go. It's fab. I live part time in the uk/part time in KSA. To be honest, over the past year or so I've felt much safer in KSA than the UK. On fact I'm moving back over there full time next year. We've been in ksa for a total of nearly 5 years now. Not the most progressive of countries I'll admit, but the pearl clutching horror stories people relay (and have never even been there) are just bloody ridiculous. At least in Oman you don't have to wear an abaya, you can drive, get booze and bacon. What's not to love? Go!

Absolutely fine, very safe, pleasant place.

Are people saying no because it's the Middle East or because he's her ex?

FFS the Middle East is bloody huge.

The ignorance on this thread is breathtaking, actually!
OP you know your relationship with your ex best. If you can have an amicable week together (with no agenda for getting back together), that's the bit you really have to think about as a potential problem. You've heard from posters who live there reassuring you about safety...and I have a number of expat friends who ended up in Oman, and never want to leave, they love it there so much.
And yes, he chose to move abroad for work, but the fact that he is paying for a holiday so that he can see his DD, and have her where he lives isn't a horrible thing...it's a holiday for you and her, and DD gets to see where Daddy lives.
As for the poster who snidely commented that sleeved tops are somehow uncomfortable in hot weather...she'd be dead wrong about that. I lived in India for two years, and I can assure you that in 50° weather, a long sleeved, loose cotton top was a million times more comfortable than anything sleeveless (and India is another country where it is respectful to keep shoulders covered).
Dressing modestly isn't difficult, or insulting...it's a respectful thing to do in a country that isn't yours.

Oman is lovely, very safe and extremely interesting. It has far more in the way of genuine history than UAE, forts, watchtowers, amazing souks.
You can buy alcohol in the western style hotels and can bring 2 litres of spirits in if arriving by air.
You can drive, don't have to cover your head, go where you want, when you want.
The roads are fantastic if you fancied doing some exploring while you were there.
Cover shoulders and knees out of courtesy, that being said I did see people in shorts and nothing was said to them.
It's also very cheap when you are there although water does cost slightly more than petrol (22p a litre as opposed to 17p for petrol!).
You may be asked to sit in a family booth at cafes, but I didn't feel "hidden away" as such, more that the cafe owners thought I would be more comfortable. In more westernised restaurants they don't do this.
I would go if I were you, but stay in a hotel, rather than with your ex, so you have some space and boundaries.

It's very sad to see so many posters making ignorant knee-jerk generalisations about the entire Middle East.

I grew up partly in the Middle East, in Tel Aviv (which culturally is basically Miami with hummus). Tel Aviv could really not be more different from somewhere like Saudi Arabia. The ME is a big area with massive differences between countries.

Not to say the OP should go, but it has to be based on her relationship with her ex, not because the Middle East is "scary."

I'm cabin crew, Ive been to a lot of the Middle East and I'd say Muscat is by far my favourite. It's lovely, feels very safe and relaxed, with more character than most other countries. We used to stay at a lovely hotel with a few pools on the beach. It was lovely. The people are friendly too. I've often thought it would be nice for a chill out type holiday. It's main downside with a three year old is that it can get very hot in summer.

No one would say don't go to France despite the year or so it's had.
OP - listen to those who HAVE been and not the pearl clutching closer racists.

I've decided to go. I'd be a fool to miss out on such a good opportunity and to be honest I'm more worried about an upcoming trip to London in a couple of weeks.

Can anyone recommend a good hotel to stay that isn't as expensive as the Shangri-la?

Lived in Oman for 2 years as a teacher, it is beautiful. I would go again like a shot if I could afford it.

OP, go on blooking.com and see whats available in your budget then post the hotels here for us to advise on which one of them to book. Will you have a car?

I wouldn't take my 3 year old on a long-haul flight to see my ex with no accommodation anywhere!
The ME is not the problem here.
Ex can come to see his 3 year old in the UK if he's bothered.
Sorry OP. I have an ex who expected all sorts from me regarding our son. When he was 11, ex wanted son to fly alone from London to Bangkok with two layovers (on an airline that did not offer a chaperone service). So you're getting a bit of my own unresolved wrath in this post. Apologies, but I think your ex needs to do the legwork here, not you.
I am sure it's safe and beautiful, Muscat. My cousin lived in Oman for years and years. Absolutely loved it! He passed away sadly but his family still goes on holiday there because it's where his kids grew up.

Oman is one of the safest places in the world .

I thought you were going to say Afghanistan. I have visited Oman many times. They don't have a terrorism problem and Omani people are generally very laid-back and kind. And very welcoming to foreigners.