Would you go to the Middle East in my position?

[missladybird]

3 year old dd with ex who lives/works in the ME for the next couple of years. I stupidly thought it was a good idea to go and visit him early next year and now I'm having second thoughts. Flights have been paid for (by him) but no accommodation so far.

Wwyd?

Sorry, cross post but he's right. Risk if a terrorist attack is far lower in Muscat than in any major UK city.

I don't know.

Is your ex abusive? Unpleasant? Is he a loving father? Does he support your Dd?

Would you feel awkward socialising with him? Do you want your Dd to have a relationship with her Dad? Does he ever visit her in the U.K.?

I personally have no desire to go to any part of the ME, not even Dubai. But if he is proposing a holiday so that he can see his Dd then I wouldn't particularly worry about terrorism.

What makes you uncomfortable to spend time with him? Why did you split up?

Hell no! For the simple reason you are female, I am making an assumption unmarried, with a child? You could conceivably end up in jail for adultery (depending on where you are going). I wouldn't take the risk.

Absolutely not.

Even if it wasn't the middle East and was somewhere with comparable customs (e.g. USA) I wouldn't take my child to a country where I might have less rights to them than an ex.

Even a 1% chance that I may lose my child because of an ex and/or their family into an unknown country would mean I'd never visit whikst they were a minor.

I'd never stop them visiting in the UK with passport on lockdown and legal steps to prevent them being removed from the country though.

I'm sure your ex isn't sinister, but there's no way I'd chance that personally.

WTF. She's not going to end up in prison!

Safety wise there is nothing to worry about in Muscat. One of the least likely places to have a terrorist attack.

They said that about New York before 9/11. There is no way I'd go there, not because of that but because of the way women are treated.

Muscat would be fine. Terrorism can happen anywhere.

I'd be inclined to ask him to transfer you money and then book your own accomodation so that way you are in control of the booking etc.

Muscat is beautiful as are lots of other parts of the ME.

My DH works in KSA and while we don't go there to see him we regularly go to Abu Dhabi and Dubai. I have never ever felt anything other than safe while Im there...in fact I feel safer there than I do in London.

I found living in Muscat more pleasant than living in the UAE.

Make sure he books you into a decent hotel and keep her passport locked in the room safe. If you're not there in the hot months (April to October you could end up having a lovely time.

Actually Muscat looks amazing, having googled a bit.

No I wouldn't. Not only because of the threat of terrorism, but also mothers have had problems leaving with their dc without the husband's permission.

I'm in that area. I feel safer here than in the UK, from the point of view of possible terrorism and as a woman living on my own. I quite happily walk around on my own at night here and I'd avoid that in the UK.

No.

I wouldn't even take the slightest chance that he may be trying to get you there under false pretences, and take my child to a country where he would automatically have more rights as the father, and could theoretically prevent you taking her home. Not even the slightest, slightest chance.

Plus he is an ex!!! I'm not sure I'd want to go down the road, as you say, of getting involved in his new life. If you're not going to enjoy it, then don't go.

Muscat is one of the few places in the Middle East I'd LOVE to go

I wouldn't. I was going to go to Cairo recently for a work related thing and decided no thank you. Whether it's rational or not - as some pp have said the ME is a very big place, I wouldn't feel safe as a single woman on a trip and absolutely no way would i put one of my dc in that position. I would not feel in control travelling there at the moment and would not risk it. The fact that you posted the question means you're not sure. So listen to your instinct would be my advice. I also would be wary of flying and transport in those areas generally. Actually in terms of Cairo, not where you are going but as an example- one friend who visited recently told me that driving at night time is incredibly dangerous as everyone turns their lights off and driving in general there is notoriously dangerous, wild west and a lot of fatal traffic incidents. Just things to think about in general.

I'd go, unless FCO says it's not safe. Even if you don't like your ex it's great that he wants a relationship with DD.

I've heard Muscat is beautiful.

It's not a country I would choose to visit if dd's dad wasn't there and he comes back to the UK every few months either way. I agreed to it because I thought it would be an adventure for dd but I'm getting worried now it's getting closer.

It was a few years ago now but I have been to Muscat and it didn't feel dangerous, it's lovely. I'd go again if the friends we visited at the time still lived there.

Oman is also progressive re: womens rights. It is quite common here to see female police officers pull over speeding drivers, and women also hold ministerial positions in the government. Women can divorce their husbands. Many Omani women I know hold degrees and lots are educated in the UK/US. Please don't generalise about 'the Middle East' - as someone has said previously it's like treating 'Africa' as a single homogenous lump.

Muscat is lovely and as safe as it gets. If you go, you must go and see the Grand Mosque which is stunning by the way, my son was project manager on it when it was being built.

I presume your relationship, and your child’s birth, took place in the UK. He moved away from his child, he needs to use his annual leave to visit you, not the other way round, regardless of the country.

i was recently considering a holiday with the DC in the Middle East
(still am TBH) and thought I'd have a google about safety. Have no idea re methodology etc but this article suggests that statistically Oman is safer than the UK.

Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the speeding drivers

www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/oman

Looks fine to me. (Compared with other countries that Brits go to on Holiday !!)

Even a 1% chance that I may lose my child because of an ex and/or their family into an unknown country would mean I'd never visit whikst they were a minor

He is not from Oman, he lives and works there. The OP has no suspicion that he might kidnap his own DD. He's her dad.

I'd never stop them visiting in the UK with passport on lockdown and legal steps to prevent them being removed from the country though

You sound very paranoid. You would never get a court order preventing removal from the country unless you could prove there was a genuine risk of abduction (as in that threats/attempts had been made).

The OP was worried about terrorist attacks. Others have reassured her that this is unlikely (we live in one of the highest risk countries for terrorism anyway (UK)).