To not understand why people don't understand men cannot be raped by a woman?

[TurquoiseChevrotain]

I've read a lot whenever this comes up on here or elsewhere, that it's 'terrible' and such an outdated view. Why is it? Why can't people understand what rape is? Men can be sexually assaulted by women, but not raped.

If you don't want to have sex and he storms off angry and then you decide to give in and have sex, it is not good behaviour on his part but he has done nothing illegal.

That is coercive sex. It's abhorrent and entirely indicative of male entitlement. Which is the key characteristic of rape.

But no, well done, it's not illegal. Luckily for you.

And just kept continuing with the clothes removal and you just froze, so didn't say no again. How is that not rape?

I might add, that a new law has come into being under the serious crime bill regarding psychological abuse, under which coercion is included.

Points to note, among other things are:

• Controlling what they do

• Enforcing rules and activity which humiliate, degrade or dehumanise the victim

Demanding sex, losing your temper in order to coerce the woman, every time it doesn't happen, would seem come under that, would it not?

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-new-psychological-abuse-law-a6789271.html%3Famp

Men are more likely to report being raped than women are.

Really?

To not understand why people don't understand men cannot be raped by a woman?

So having read this thread it seems that in certain circumstances and locations it is indeed possible:

Because the definition varies country to country.

Because in Scotland the legal definition of rape is different to the legal definition in England.

Because the dictionary definition is different to the English legal definition.

Because laws can be changed and redefined: marriage was until very recently defined as between a man and a woman, (And people who were against the legal change of this would have been semantically correct to post an AIBU about this) now, quite rightly, any two consenting people of age can be married.

Equally, some people, even some people with good legal knowledge admit that they think that the definition of rape should be redefined to include categories of sexual assault with and object or body part other than a penis as it has been in other legal jurisdictions.

That women have been charged and sentenced in England with rape by joint venture.

So if you want to be incredibly specific about your definition: That in England at this particular time, and by legal terminology rather than by the accepted dictionary definition the you are correct: women cannot rape men.

How stupid of me therefore, to think that in certain circumstances woman can be seen to be rapists.

Because in Scotland the legal definition of rape is different to the legal definition in England

No it isn't.

The Scots law version is below. The only difference is it refers to "A's penis" rather than "his penis". Rape still requires a penis under Scots law.

The only circumstances a woman can be guilty of rape is a trans woman who has kept their penis or, as in England, art and part guilty where another person has done the rape.

If a person (“A”), with A's penis—

(a)without another person (“B”) consenting, and

(b)without any reasonable belief that B consents,

penetrates to any extent, either intending to do so or reckless as to whether there is penetration, the vagina, anus or mouth of B then A commits an offence, to be known as the offence of rape.

how stupid of me therefore, to think that in certain circumstances woman can be seen to be rapists.

Well if it makes you feel happy

Some women in countries other than Britain can legally be considered to have raped men...i assume

But yeah

Legally in the country in which i reside women cannot rape men

If they change the law then that would be different

Will wait for them to do that

But yeah

Silly turquoise for referring to the countries laws in which she lives

What possessed her...honestly!!

Or the country, in which she lives, laws

Thats better

I think turquoise is being unreasonable to limit others’ understanding and experience of sexual violence to the law of England and Wales.

In general it’s a shame we can’t even entertain ideas of female sexual aggression, it makes us sound not fully human somehow.

To be fair, there are many people on here (also in the U.K.) who claim that it's an unfair law, that's who this post was on about.

She hasn't limited it

Other people are welcome to discuss other countries but most people on this thread want to discuss this country

Im not sure where people aren't entertaining the idea of female sexual aggression...again i just think most people on here think its less common than the other way around

I may well have missed this part though...its a big thread and i have a memory like a sieve

For avoidance of doubt I don’t mean the womendoittoooo discussion which always seeks to detract from and downplay male violence against women and girls, but in general.

fresh

I understood your point right til

the word 'rape' being devalued by women using it to mean sex they regret

No we should not have to lie or embellish to men that women are the problem in order to get them to stop raping us. If men can’t handle the fact that they as a class oppress and damage women then I’m not sure they’re going to want to get on board in tackling the issue.

And DFOD with your “women claim they’ve been raped when they just regret sex”. Where on earth have you heard this?!

cherry

Rape myths R us?

And i agree with cherrys first post

Centuries of this shit and we just need to explain it one more time to them, apologise for our years of sexual aggression against men and then mankind will never rape again?

Yay???

OK, I work in the media and here’s how news works - if newspapers covered every rape and sexual assault story that went to court there’d be little else in the paper. To put it crudely, people (vast majority men) on trial for sex crimes are ten a penny, so the stories that get covered are usually the unusual ones, or the ones that involve a prolific person, or the very shocking ones. In this category are female sex offenders. They are rare and that’s why you hear about them. Don’t take it as an indication of an epidemic.

I’ve heard of 2 that I can think of lately. Neither of which involved a woman who regretted sex, maybe you could provide links to all these stories you’ve heard?

Latest figures show BTW that for every woman lying to the police about rape, at least 156 women are actually being raped. In a 16 month period, 35 women in the U.K. lied about rape or sexual assault. Lying women are not the problem, and insinuating they are just feeds into a ridiculous rape myth.

i think false accusation cases going to court are a really small percentage

well of course I am assuming that is why they said that, it sure is he spin the newspapers put on it.

It's just so fucking disheartening.

I want to live in a world where a seventeen year old girl can walk home in the early hours without being assaulted 3 times by 3 different men.

Do you understand what that means for that young woman, for every woman?!? Do you get what this and countless other cases says about the way many, many men conduct themselves?? Do you understand what that says about men? Not all men, but men as a sex?? Do you grasp what it says about the culture men and women are brought up in that says men should feel entitled to take whatever they want from women??

And where, WHERE, in all this are the men? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ON WOMEN TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?!

There is very little that women can meaningfully do. But one thing we definitely can do is stop perpetuating this ridiculous compulsion to placate, soothe, bend over backwards to spare the poor feelings of men and assuage their discomfort at the really fucking nasty things that are perpetuated every day, EVERY DAY, many times in a day, by men.

Why does it always, always, always become about the odd case, the odd one, the outlier?

Why can't it ever be about the fact that many men are just fucking horrible in how they behave, and that until MEN OWN IT and take responsibility for it and face it head on, root it out like the poison it is, it will continue unabated.

I am done. I can no longer deal with this shit over and over again.

HolgerDanske

Moving, heartfelt post. And I agree with every word. Don't be done. Feminism needs women like you.

Can you imagine a science fiction planet, where half the population are consistently attacked by the other half. An alien lands and asks the other half why they don't do something about it?

They shrug.

As a film, the premise would have people up in arms.