Things that ought to be great, but are invariably disappointing....

[ClashCityRocker]

Baths with wine and candles.

The heat from the bath means the wine gets tepid rather quickly, and the candle light is never strong enough to read a book in. Also, submerging to rinse the soap off results in a tidal wave of water, putting out the candles and resulting in being sat in darkness. The scramble for the light switch usually involves knocking over the precariously perched wine glass or candle, resulting in wine and candle wax everywhere.

See also breakfast in bed.

It's not a great position to eat breakfast in, really, being half recumbent. I'm usually a wee bit sweaty, would rather get up and have a cigarette and always end up with toast crumbs on the sheets.

What things that sound lovely in principle are really not that great in practice?

There were paragraphs in that originally

Lying in a hammock in the sun.

Balancing precariously, sun in your eyes, flies buzzing around your bottle of cider, two pigeons shagging in the tree above you and one of your cats doing a shit in the garden while maintaining eye contact with you for some strange reason.

Relaxing it is not.

Puddings in restaurants, they look do nice but invariably too sweet and meh - probably need to go to classier joints!

Definite yes to baths with candles and wine.

I totally agree about breakfast in bed and would add that old classic, sex on a beach.

I also find that there is nothing more disappointing than most chocolate icecreams.

Long-awaited sequels.

See also new series of your favourite show. Often great to watch, but for God's sake don't read reviews, talk about it, or post online. Damn you internet

Going to the beach.

Thinking about it, a lot of things on the beach, in this breezy country, barbecues, eating sandwiches etc.

Going the Cafe in a farm, sitting eating with the smell of manure wafting about.

Mr frosty wins this thread

New Year's Eve, and Krispy Creme doughnuts

Concerts and festivals. Queuing for everything, overpriced food and drink and so far away from stage that you have to watch it on a screen anyway. Pissed blokes bumping into you, treading on your feet, long queue for shitty toilets.

May as well watch it from home!

Ooh charlie I had my first ever crispy creme donut today and totally agree.

Also agree with beaches. They are much better to look at than be on, I find.

Hot chocolate - never tastes as nice as it smells.

Sex anywhere outdoors - cold, ground is hard, earth and grass gets in your pants (or sand in your pants if you’re at the beach), insects crawl on you, the whole thing is rubbish.

Punting or rowing anywhere. Far harder than it looks, anxiety about falling in, not the relaxing serene experience it looks like from the shore at all.

Mr Frosty - yep, just sickly ice cubes. Shop-bought Slush Puppies are great though (and obviously proper granitas actually genuinely taste nice).

I would have lumped frozen cocktails in with disappointing Mr Frosties, until I had a fantastic frozen strawberry margarita at a Spanish music festival a couple of years ago (it was about 50% alcohol). They’re usually shit though.

Eating outside in the UK. Too many flies and then the sun goes in and it's freezing.

Going out in the night to party/clubbing

There's a photo of me somewhere sitting on a swing which is hanging from a palm tree on a tropical beach. It looks idyllic.

All I actually remember is being insanely hot, needing a drink and a wee, covered in mozzie bites and the most unsightly heat rash and with flip flop blister after trekking miles along burning sand.

Brownies. How come only 1 in 100 is as gooey and chocolatey as they all look?

Fruit teas. Look and smell amazing, taste so disappointing.

Agree with New Year’s Eve.
‘European’ Christmas markets: great if you want an odd-flavoured hot beverage or sausage in a bun, but does anyone actually buy presents for anyone there or just overpriced fudge to eat later on whilst drying out from the drizzle?

Brownies are always disappointing. Especially as a dessert in a restaurant.

Also (and I realise how much of a twat I sound) as an adult, Christmas presents. How exciting and full of potential they look under the tree, with the lovely colours and ribbons.... And it's invariably teatowels. Not even nice teatowels. Or socks.

Dominos pizza. Pure hype.

Theme parks.

Ambrosia custard ice cream. It just tastes like vanilla ice cream and not even particularly nice vanilla ice cream.

Fruit teas taste like water with a crayon dipped in it. I do agree they smell fantastic though.

And bath bombs. A gritty mucky bath and thrush. No thank you.

lanaorana Mrs Crimbles gluten free ones are little slices of heaven. But yes to the majority crumbling or leaving a weird film on your teeth

Herbal tea is shite.

Lying in bed all day. I think it is what I want to do but if I get to 9am I start feeling depressed.