Things that ought to be great, but are invariably disappointing....

[ClashCityRocker]

Baths with wine and candles.

The heat from the bath means the wine gets tepid rather quickly, and the candle light is never strong enough to read a book in. Also, submerging to rinse the soap off results in a tidal wave of water, putting out the candles and resulting in being sat in darkness. The scramble for the light switch usually involves knocking over the precariously perched wine glass or candle, resulting in wine and candle wax everywhere.

See also breakfast in bed.

It's not a great position to eat breakfast in, really, being half recumbent. I'm usually a wee bit sweaty, would rather get up and have a cigarette and always end up with toast crumbs on the sheets.

What things that sound lovely in principle are really not that great in practice?

Just under cook your brownie a little then you get the nice gooey middle!

Fringes/bangs. Fancied changing up my style for my birthday and thought why not get a fringe? I've been back from the hairdressers for 20 minutes and it's already flopping about and getting in my eyes.

Relationships.

Op did you have an original glazed donut or a fancy flavoured one? The originals are the only good ones.

Beaches in Australia are fab and I bloody love them so I can’t get on board with that one

Sex in the shower. Awful.
Disneyland Paris. Childhood dreams shattered.
Beer. Always looks so nice and refreshing but tastes like shite.
Baths. I get bored. I like the idea of reading a book but I spend all my time topping up the hot water, drying my hands, trying not to wet my book.
Restaurant desserts. They are usually disappointing. Would rather just eat a block of chocolate. We went to a very expensive restaurant recently and I thought oooh dessert will be good!! Something fancy and indulgent. It was bloody ice cream with chocolate shards. And it was a tiny serve!
Getting my nails done. Sounds nice and relaxing but I hate making small talk and I hate the feeling of my nails being filed.

Travelling via the airport.

Sex in a shower, no matter how big the shower

Men.

Danibubbles

I'd love a fringe - as much facial coverage as possible is good. However, it itches and it looks ridiculous when it's windy - it literally stays where the wind blows it! I'm so jealous of those with lovely fringes that just fall into place

does anyone actually buy presents for anyone there or just overpriced fudge to eat later on whilst drying out from the drizzle?

This ^ regarding Christmas Markets - which are great IMO but you are right.

Bristol Balloon Fiesta nightglow

My dyson animal. Pile of shit that never sucks. Meh!

All-inclusive holidays. Going to the same big echoey impersonal canteen for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday and eating breakfast leftovers for dinner.

Oh and I agree with the PP about Cadbury Dairy Milk- but extend that to Creme Eggs. They look so appealing in their shiny jackets but it's just a crazed oversweet sugar rush.

Legoland - overpriced, queue infested hell
Coffee shops - also overpriced and nowhere to sit
Christmas shopping - always done by 1st december as hate the crush of last minute queueing and parking etc
Also ditto all the above already mentioned.
No wonder i stay mostly at home .

Yes to baths being completely over rated. After a bit you're just sat in your own dirt aren't you? I have been known to tell dp I'm having a nice bath then sit in the loo on mn before a quick shower. Good excuse to hide from the kids for half an hour but rubbish way to relax!

Clothes shopping. Especially with other people. Many, many times friends have suggested 'a days clothes shopping' as a fun activity. All clothes shops are too hot. They never have exactly what I want and if by some miracle they do they won't have it in my size and the assistant will offer to order it for me- I can order on line at home. Even with vanity sizing and are three stone weight loss you can still park a car in the shadow of my arse and i've yet to look in a flattering changing room mirror. My feet hurt from traipsing around all of the shops looking for friends perfect pair of jeans. Can't we just go to the pub?

Fancy bars. Aforementioned shopping trips almost always end up in a bar (as opposed to a pub). They look look all swanky and trendy but there's never anywhere to sit or put stuff down. That includes drinks which are sold in massive glasses full of ice which you have to then hold and they make your hands all cold. I'm 38 and now will only willingly drink in places where I can have a nice sit down!

Most of these
Real ground coffee. I love the smell of it in the pot and when it’s being ground, hate the taste. Never found one that doesn’t taste metallic. I’ll stick with my instant thanks!
Posh paint. Was given half a tub of farrow and ball to try out on the hall. It’s just paint but more expensive. And still takes ages to wash off when your roller flicks it onto your face.
Posh restaurants. Never been to one and come away feeling full. Robbed maybe but not full.
I started liking NYE again when I gave up on it. Now I let the kids stay up as long as they want, we get pj’s on early, have a nice tea and snacks, I might have a glass or 2 of wine, watch a couple of films and go to bed. If I’m still awake at midnight I can watch everyone else’s fireworks for free from the comfort of my own bed

Outlet shopping villages. You imagine yourself running gaily back to the car park laden down with fancy designer carrier bags, a la Carrie Bradshaw/Becky Bloomwood, when the reality is shop after shop of men's slacks, discount sports socks, Denbyware and, if you're lucky, a hangar-sized M&S full of all the chod they couldn't sell in the last desperate sale. To add insult to injury, the last Cadburys outlet shop I went into had a pile of chocolate oranges which were 'reduced' to £2.49 'from £3.99'. Everyone was circling it, saying, 'Ooh, Bob, have you ever seen a chocolate orange for four quid?'

Also, cupcakes. Your brain tells you you're biting into a delicious morsel of America. Your mouth points out that you're now 25% Stork margarine.

Flotation tanks. Am I relaxed? Not really, now I know I've got to go and find some Earex to unblock this wax once I get out, no.

Got one more. Portobello road - I love London and go down as much as possible, last time we stayed very close by and I was eager to have a good look. It all seemed to be over priced second hand stuff and London souvenirs, I was quite disappointed! Nice houses though.

New York.

I was so excited but it did nothing for me. Walking around I just compared everywhere to the equivalent in London and felt London was better.

Trying to read outside.

Worse still if it's a broadsheet newspaper... wind!

Going to a country hotel to relax. The walls are paper thin so you spend the night listening to your neighbours shagging, coughing or weeing. The chambermaids wake you up at the crack of dawn banging the hoover against the door and chatting at the top of their voices. Then invariably, a family of 5 will wake you up again by preparing to leave while keeping their door wide open and shouting things like "John, did you pack your goggles?"

And, Mr Frosty, yes!! My first ever disappointment in life! How the hell are you supposed to grate ice by turning a flimsy plastic handle?!

I agree with you loveka, I'm in London frequently and it's 100 x better than NY.

Live music gigs.

You hear that a band you love are playing in the next town. Yay! So exciting. Bet they're amazing live... So off you troop, and stand in a queue for an hour. Then you get in and somehow it's already packed. You can't get anywhere near the stage so you find a vantage point at the side or at the top of a slight rise where you can see ok. You send OH or BF or whoever accompanied you to get drinks while you hold the space...and they're gone for 40 minutes and miss the support act. Then they come back with warm flat beer in a plastic cup. Your feet are hurting already from standing in one place for so long but it's all going to get better now because the band are coming on. Cheers, applause, excitement... and then a six foot six wrestler with a big, fat head plants himself right in front of you and spends the evening shifting from foot to foot while you hop around on tiptoe trying to see over his shoulders.

The band don't play your favourite songs because they are "showcasing their new material"...you remember too late that nothing sounds good anyway when blasted out of amps at ear-incinerating volume...and actually they aren't that good live and the lead singer is coming across a bit of an arrogant twat.

Then you queue again to get out of the door and spend the next hour sitting immobile in your car because the car park is gridlocked.

And don't get me started on festivals. All of the above, plus rain. And the selfish bastards at the front waving flags the size of bedsheets to make sure nobody in the back three quarters of the arena can see a fucking thing. And the exciting possibility that at any moment you could be hit by a flying cup of warm piss...

We have a adjective for this which is saying things are 'a bit chatsworth' as in chatsworth house which never fails to disappoint as a day out 🙂

Another one for Cadburys anything - for some reason I keep going back every few months in expectation that it will be the delicious chocolate I remember from just a few years ago.

Posh hotel with a pool - should be lovely but actually smaller then it appears in the pictures orbit isca good size, but also part of their gym membership so full of really serious swimmers.

Purchases off eBay. The nice top you 'won' is so often a disappointment.

TheBadgers that's scarily accurate. I thought it was just me getting old, but I said to dh the other night I didn't fancy going to gigs anymore

I want to plus one most of these!

aperol we can be grumpy in the corner together! Without herbal tea!