Things that ought to be great, but are invariably disappointing....

[ClashCityRocker]

Baths with wine and candles.

The heat from the bath means the wine gets tepid rather quickly, and the candle light is never strong enough to read a book in. Also, submerging to rinse the soap off results in a tidal wave of water, putting out the candles and resulting in being sat in darkness. The scramble for the light switch usually involves knocking over the precariously perched wine glass or candle, resulting in wine and candle wax everywhere.

See also breakfast in bed.

It's not a great position to eat breakfast in, really, being half recumbent. I'm usually a wee bit sweaty, would rather get up and have a cigarette and always end up with toast crumbs on the sheets.

What things that sound lovely in principle are really not that great in practice?

Well you did ask....

We rented a villa in Greece last year with our own pool not overlooked, but not very well heated either. But after the initial shock of the cold water, it was lovely.
Then I thought.... I fancy swimming in the nude.

Swimming in a proper cossie means you have a reasonably firm gusset pressed against your fanjo, so everything stays "closed".
But when I set off to swim breaststroke with no costume, every time I drew my knees up and kicked my feet apart, obviously my outer labia parted and I got a shock of cold water to my innermost bits!

hahaha that's amazing! Thanks for sharing

Weeing in a wetsuit

I must admit it's not something I've ever done....although I must admit to wondering what happened when nature called whilst wearing a wetsuit.

squiffany that sounds like, um, a most unusual sensation...

@UsedtobeFeckless
Slightly wanting you to be my RL friend!

Agree about the hot air balloon thing. I couldnt get out of the basket and was actually scared.
Never again.

YY to eBay 'bargains'

Also: Breaking Bad, expensive face goo, holidays.

Off-topic, but I found the perfect brownie a few weeks ago. Check out www.gowercottagebrownies.co.uk - SO GOOEY. Don't work for them, don't know anyone who does - but damn they were good.

Oh dear I went on a bit of a steroid-fuelled ebay rampage last night I hope I won’t be disappointed...

It can’t be as bad as the time I bought a floral waistcoat twice my usual size.

A new discovery for me today: salted caramel latte, utterly disgusting. My common sense said just no but I didn't listen. Ugh.

Salted caramel is only ever disappointing. I just want normal caramel!

Salted caramel is only ever disappointing. I just want normal caramel!

So disappointing I posted twice....

@Worridrose ... l'd only disappoint you!

ha! I want to say food in general. omg, people made such a fuss about whatever food they like. Rarely lives up to the billing.

Sex. Just sorry... but really? Worth so much attention? Give it a break.

Most chocolate cakes

Dry and tasteless despite looking fantastic and encouraging me to part with a fiver - I'm always disappointed

Cooking something new. You simply do this, do that and tada! Fabulous, exciting not-from-Iceland food! Instead I cut myself with the knife/peeler, underestimate how long the prep takes and spend an hour swearing at everything/one in the kitchen and then the two fussy eaters (DS1 and DH) turn their fucking noses up!

Walking the dog. Great exercise, keep ya fit! Maybe if there wasn't something that requires sniffing and pissing on every foot or so! I like to say that my dog gets 60-90 minutes walking a day, but it's probably 10 minutes walking and the rest her sniffing while I say "please, we have to walk back to playschool soon"! And if there's a drop of rain she tries to drag me home!

@UsedtobeFeckless
I disappoint people all of the time!!!

Scalp/Indian head massages. All I can think of is the fact that there is an odd "crunching" sound as the therapist scrunches through my oily - but not quite oily enough for it to be rendered silent - hair I an attempt to get at my scalp.

I had a body massage in 2003 as a 'treat'. came out with hair like a heavy rocker ( the oils took 3 washes before it came out) and i actually hurt. The plinky plongy music and candles made me feel ill.
Not impressed.

My brownies are always awesome! I think ones in restaurants are always overcooked as they are worried about serving something with raw eggs in it that hasn't been completely cooked, but they need to be underdone in order to be gooey

So much fruit is disappointing: beautiful shiny apple that turns out to be floury sour mush. Unblemished banana on the outside, brown much on the inside.

The British seaside. You expect traditional family fun, but the reality is a horrible, run-down, tacky chav-infested shithole.

London. You expect world class culture, restaurants, museums etc. The reality is that it's hideously overcrowded, stupidly expensive and everybody is stressed out all the time.

Paris. Froggy London.

Having friends to stay. You wear yourself out cleaning beforehand and spend a fortune on nice food. I used to give up my bed too for them. Their kids invariably break stuff of yours or spill stuff on the carpet or sofa (my kids seem to be able not to), moan about the food you've cooked and/or wind your kids up and I end up waiting for it being time for them to leave. The anticipation and reality are two different things.

Expensive hotels. Plagued by exactly the same troubles as Travelodges: no hot water when you want it, threadbare patches on carpets, uncomfortable beds, windows that don't open properly on hot nights.

You’re staying in the wrong expensive hotels Saracen

The British sea- side isnt what it once was - pay and display car parks that are full up on sunny days, long walks to the beach with loads of things and shops that have seen better days - overpriced cafes and restaurants when the food has run out on the beach and your still hungry and then more money on the amusements that are sticky and noisy , not to mention the cost of it all, even for a punnet of chips x4 or whatever!
I'm glad my children are grown up and we dont have to do it anymore.
Ditto theme parks.. ( even more money without any special vouchers)