Things that ought to be great, but are invariably disappointing....

[ClashCityRocker]

Baths with wine and candles.

The heat from the bath means the wine gets tepid rather quickly, and the candle light is never strong enough to read a book in. Also, submerging to rinse the soap off results in a tidal wave of water, putting out the candles and resulting in being sat in darkness. The scramble for the light switch usually involves knocking over the precariously perched wine glass or candle, resulting in wine and candle wax everywhere.

See also breakfast in bed.

It's not a great position to eat breakfast in, really, being half recumbent. I'm usually a wee bit sweaty, would rather get up and have a cigarette and always end up with toast crumbs on the sheets.

What things that sound lovely in principle are really not that great in practice?

Picnics on beaches
Relaxing on a boat in the sunshine
Sex in the open air/shower/beach

bathbombs you mean you don’t appreciate the glitter clinging to the soap scum on your bath forcing you to clean the bath after what should have been a relaxing soak..?

Christmas work do's. The inevitable Bernard Matthews thin sliced turkey accompanied by tepid watery gravy whilst Dave from accounts gropes Sandra from sales and Betty the cleaner dances on the table to Abba. And you will then be at risk of losing your job a few days later due to being a bit too honest to your boss after drowning yourself in shit house Pinot to numb the pain of how dire it really is

Brownies. How come only 1 in 100 is as gooey and chocolatey as they all look?

So true - and thanks to the obesity crisis in kids today, I can't eat a whole one either.

Yea. I definitely read that as the wrong sort of brownie

I love this thread. It makes me feel better. Christmas generally... the past few years I have slaved all day only for everyone to rush through their lunch and then sit for hours watching some total shit on Tv whilst i sit miserably in another room feeling shattered. I spend months shopping for presents but never get anything I want. What a load of cobblers it all is.

Linen clothes. The promise: Ingrid Bergmanesque crisp coolness. The reality: more creases than Di's wedding dress before you have even left the house.

Going the Cafe in a farm, sitting eating with the smell of manure wafting about.

Becca, you beat me to it with the fruit teas! Smell divine and taste like dirty water. And User5trillion I've just had the pub pudding disappointment tonight. Sicilian lemon tart, soggy pastry with a slick of lemon curd in it. Sigh. On the plus side, I wasn't paying!

I took yesterday off work because I have a nasty virus. The last time I was off was with a sickness bug over a year ago. I'm not off very often.

I was hoping to have a relaxing day with hot drinks and a book but felt too crap to appreciate not being at work. It was most disappointing.

And yes, barbecues are the most over rated things ever. I hate doing them and rarely enjoy eating anything from them. What's the point?

Foods that you haven’t eaten since you were a kid and get to try again when you have DC of your own. Eg wotsits and fish fingers.

Summer in general. It's either miserable and raining or too fucking hot.

Bike rides, or specifically bike rides with DH. He is a MAMIL serious cyclist and always pushes us a bit too far and too fast until we are all knackered and whinging about our sore arses.

Fish and chips. I absolutely crave it, scoff the whole greasy lot in about 30 seconds flat then want to throw up for the rest of the day.

Red velvet cake

Was just coming on to say fish and chips too. I always really fancy them but the chips are either not cooked enough or are rock solid and the fish is always greasy and yuk.

Indian Head Massage

Nothing is worth the oily bed hair it leaves you with; any relaxation benefit completely cancelled out as soon as you look in the mirror

Albert Hall. Acoustics are poor.

Real Fires. Hard work.

Farm cafes and manure. My childhood was spent with horse mingling with kitchen. Warm peach, back step, stables takes me into a place of pure joy. It is no more .

Fancy restaurants. I feel so uncomfortable having people serve me and put napkins on my lap. And I don’t really like fussy food. I’m much happier somewhere where the tables are a bit sticky and the staff are chatty, and I know my food won’t come with foam or any such nonsense.

Marriage

English summers
English beaches in the summer
Brexit?

Pub roasts. Love the idea of them, they come out looking amazing and then the roast potatoes are inevitably a bit soggy not crispy, the veg is overdone and the gravy is tasteless. V disappointing

Spa days. Just meh

I am caffeine-sensitive to a severe degree, so I drink a lot of herbal tea (hate normal tea) but I wish they would make them taste as good as they smell. I find some wonderful smelling teas and spend loads of money on them and find they do not taste as good or taste like they smell. I have to use about 6 teabags to get even a quarter of the intensity of flavour I get from the smell.

Firework displays as an adult...at home they are always a bit pathetic even if everyone brings a big one and public ones are a lot of waiting around for a few minutes of oos and ahs
Ditto outdoor sex of any kind

Marriage